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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25032817">Monsters Efficient</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/escaliers/pseuds/escaliers'>escaliers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Girl Genius (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Agatha H. and the Three Monster Boyfriends, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, not actually shippy I swear, so much jagerspeak, sometimes friendship is just like that</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:33:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>37,606</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25032817</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/escaliers/pseuds/escaliers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dimo, Oggie and Maxim have been searching for their lost masters for fourteen years. They haven't had much luck so far. By now it really feels like they're just picking out places to look out of a hat. Maybe they're owed a diversion.</p>
<p>Beetleburg will do.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Agatha Heterodyne &amp; Jägermonsters, Dimo &amp; Maxim &amp; Oggie (Girl Genius)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>241</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>259</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="western">
  <em>They say that deep in the dark forests of Transylvania, dangerous creatures wander. When lightning strikes in the dark of night, the unlucky wanderers might wish it struck them first, rather than leave them to face the eyes and teeth and claws it briefly illuminates. The abandoned creations of mad scientists, too wild for them to control. Directionless machinery trudges on, attacking anything it comes across with razors and guns until the day when it finally falls into disrepair. Abominations of science are left to roam free, to feast on unfortunate lost souls that stray from the safety of civilisation. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Beware, traveller, there be monsters in these woods.</em>
</p>
<p class="western">- Burnstock, J. (1887). Top Ten Continental Trails; Plan Your Family Holiday!<em> The Biannual Scream, 16 (1),</em> 43-44.</p>
<p class="western"> </p>
<p class="western"> </p>
<p class="western">In the wild, abandoned land between towns that was remarkably common in this part of the continent, three monsters were currently at rest in a small, swampy clearing in the woods. It was a pleasant afternoon during an unseasonably warm winter, sun filtering through the leaves and birds singing at each other promiscuously. The sky was clear and, apart from the aforementioned monsters, there was nothing to disturb the peace.</p>
<p class="western">“Hyu know vat dis reminds me ov?” Oggie mused, tracing patterns in the mud next to him with his claw.</p>
<p class="western">“Vat does dis remind hyu ov, Oggie?” Maxim replied, watching a sparrow in a nearby tree with a hungry look in his eyes.</p>
<p class="western">“Dat time vit Master Infernius and dose Queens ov Denial! Ho, Hy thought ve vos goners dot time, for a leedle vhile, until Borislav found dat schneaky drain ting!”</p>
<p class="western">“Ho, yez, vos verra lucky!” Maxim agreed, wriggling slightly and wincing. “Und dere ve vere laffing at him for being de first to drown in de sand!”</p>
<p class="western">“But he saved de day und de master’s anti-sunshine ray vorked a treat und ve found de last of de queens vhere she’d locked op General Goomblast before anyting too excitink could happen to him, so all’s vell dot ends vell!” Oggie recounted happily. His head sunk a few inches from its former position.</p>
<p class="western">“Vos a verra interesting veekend,” Maxim nodded. “But hy dunno if dis iz quite de same ting, Oggie.”</p>
<p class="western">“Vell, no, ve iz in a swamp, not a desert place, but could still be useful mebbe!”</p>
<p class="western">“Sounds goot, Oggie!” Dimo piped up, finally giving up on wrenching his leg free of the murky quicksand surrounding them. It had just reached mid-thigh on him. “How about hyu just stick your head under de mud und svim until hyu find de plug den, yez?”</p>
<p class="western">“Eet kent hurt to try!” Maxim said brightly, taking the moment to start tucking his long hair under his hat. The quicksand had reached his waist. “Und hyu is already mostly dere, Oggie!”</p>
<p class="western">“Hmm, hy dunno, brodders,” Oggie chewed on his lip. By now he had sunk down to his armpits and had to hold his arms at a very awkward position to keep them free. “Ho, vell, hy’ll give it a go!”</p>
<p class="western">“<em>Vot</em> are hyu eediots <em>doing</em>?”</p>
<p class="western">All three Jägerkin looked up, Ognian’s cheeks puffed as he prepared to hold his breath. The clearing they were in was, upon closer examination, actually a circle of mud in which the three of them were at varying stages of submerged. At the edge of the quicksand pond was a large bear with an unimpressed glare. Looking further up revealed a Jäger with an equally unimpressed glare.</p>
<p class="western">“Füst!” Oggie exclaimed with delight.</p>
<p class="western">“Hallo, Jenka,” Dimo nodded with more reservation. “How are hyu doink today? Vot a coincidental ting, runnink into hyu here-”</p>
<p class="western">“Vot-” Jenka repeated, “are <em>hyu eediots</em> doing?”</p>
<p class="western">The three exchanged nervous glances, conveying the worry that this was a trick question. Maxim worked up the courage to respond first, hands holding his hat firmly atop his head.</p>
<p class="western">“... Sinking, Jenka?”</p>
<p class="western">“Iz not our fault!” The quicksand was rapidly swallowing up Oggie as he waved his arms about to make his point. “Eet kem out ov novhere! Eet vas an ambush!”</p>
<p class="western">“Hy don’t even think I am angry yet,” Jenka said, somewhat amazed. “Hy just vant to know how dis happened.”</p>
<p class="western">“Iz not verra interestink,” Dimo quickly assured her.</p>
<p class="western">“Hy mean, <em>vun</em> of hyu gettink stuck by accident, hokay, deez tings happen-”</p>
<p class="western">“Dey do, dey do happen,” Maxim agreed eagerly.</p>
<p class="western">“Und <em>two</em> of hyu, vell, sometimes it be like dat-”</p>
<p class="western">“Eet be like dat all de time, Jenka!” Oggie nodded as much as he could while the quicksand enveloped his collar.</p>
<p class="western">“But all <em>tree</em> of hyu? In vun go? None of hyu noticed vot vas happening?”</p>
<p class="western">“Um,” Dimo attempted, rubbing the back of his neck. “Vell, iz not dat I did not <em>notice</em>...”</p>
<p class="western">“Dimo vas scouting ahead,” Maxim explained. “Und zo vhen Oggie started to sink, I had to pull him out by myself, hyu know.”</p>
<p class="western">“Und did a verra goot job, I ken see.” Jenka folded her arms, which was never a good sign.</p>
<p class="western">“Yez, vell, ve did not see how <em>beeg</em> de svamp vas-”</p>
<p class="western">“Hy den realised dot deez two vere not catchink up like dey vas supposed to zo I vent beck to look for dem,” Dimo picked up. “Und found dem like dis and thought ho, vell, I vill just grab Maxim und pull und den...”</p>
<p class="western">“In Dimo’s defence, ve tink dat de svamp mebbe growink a leedle bit as it goes,” Oggie said fairly. “Iz preddy sparky!”</p>
<p class="western">Jenka pulled her hat down over her eyes and growled into Füst’s fur.</p>
<p class="western">“Speakink of vhich, mebbe Füst vants to move beck a leedle bit?”</p>
<p class="western">Füst evidently did want to move back and did so quickly. Jenka glared at them from between his ears.</p>
<p class="western">“Just vat vere hyu planning on doing if I didn’t come along?”</p>
<p class="western">“Vell-”</p>
<p class="western">“Not hyu, Oggie.”</p>
<p class="western">“Ve vere... Still figuring it out?” Dimo tried to sound confident. “Maxim und me still had a vhile before ve drowned, mebbe.”</p>
<p class="western">“Und hyu vould just write Ognian off den?”</p>
<p class="western">Jenka, Dimo and Maxim all turned to look at Oggie, who was now so subsumed by the mud that his head was tilted back to keep his airways free and his arms were stretched as high up as they could go.</p>
<p class="western">“Please be helping me, Jenka, hy tink mine hat is goink to fall off!” He whined pitifully.</p>
<p class="western">“Hy should let hyu all sink to the bottom and stay dere for a hundred years,” Jenka said. “Den mebbe hyu learn to be more careful! Vhy hyu all zo schtupid? Dimo, I expect better from hyu!”</p>
<p class="western">“Hoy! Dot’s not fair!” Dimo yelled in alarm. “Vot hy do to deserve dot kind of expecting?!”</p>
<p class="western">“Hyu iz supposed to be looking after de young vuns, not gettink quicksand in hyu fur!”</p>
<p class="western">“Ve are verra sorry, Jenka,” Maxim said. “Please help now? Ve pay hyu beck, I promise!”</p>
<p class="western">“Vhen? Vhen are hyu going to be paying me back for saving hyu from veird sparky svamp ting, Maxim?” Jenka growled. “Vhen hyu tink I am going to get myself in soch a schtupid kind ov ting?”</p>
<p class="western">“Please, Jenka?” Oggie asked, starting to sound rather strangled.</p>
<p class="western">Jenka sighed and reluctantly climbed off Füst’s back. “Hokay, hokay. Füst, hyu help me bring down dis tree und-”</p>
<p class="western">“<em>VOT?!</em>”</p>
<p class="western">“<em>Dis tree</em> vit bark und leaves und soch! Den ve use it to pull hyu <em>three</em> eediots out ov dere!”</p>
<p class="western">“Ho, hokay den.”</p>
<p class="western">It took some work, a large oak tree, sacrificing Maxim’s boots, the combined strength of three Jägerkin and a bear, and a hasty retreat as they noticed the swamp was indeed chasing them, but eventually all Jägers were on dry land with their hats intact. Filthy, but alive and free.</p>
<p class="western">“Jenka, hy do not know vot ve vould do vitout- <em>ow</em>!” Dimo dodged the second swing from Jenka and a heavy tree branch. The third strike did not miss and knocked him to the ground. “Hoy!”</p>
<p class="western">“Jenka, ve said sorry already- ow! Schtop!” Maxim tried to wrestle the branch out of her grip and got smacked in the face for his efforts.</p>
<p class="western">“Eediots! Hyu could have drowned! In de middle ov novhere! Und no vun vould even know!” Jenka growled, continuing to smack the boys with a branch as thick as her torso. “How do such schtupid Jägers survive dis long like dis? Ognian, get over here!”</p>
<p class="western">“Hy tink hy vould rather vait over here,” Oggie said, who had been lucky enough to both be out of Jenka’s range when the beating started and far too filthy for Füst to want to gnaw on him.</p>
<p class="western">“Vell, hy vant hyu all in a row so hy ken <em>smack hyu all at vunce!</em>”</p>
<p class="western">“But-”</p>
<p class="western">“<em>Now!</em>”</p>
<p class="western">“Yez, Jenka...”</p>
<p class="western">“Oggie, don’t- ack! Hokay, dot does eet!” Dimo roared and leapt forward- to catch Jenka’s boot in his chest. “——!”</p>
<p class="western">“<em>Line op!</em>”</p>
<p class="western">“... Yez, Jenka.”</p>
<p class="western">Eventually, Jenka deemed that they had been beaten enough to learn their lesson. Then she beat them for a little while longer to work off some tension. When that was finished, she gave the prone Dimo another kick for good measure and sat down on the ground next to him.</p>
<p class="western">“Hokay, I think dat’s enough.” The boys groaned their agreement. “Hoy, get over it, hyu have all had vorse.”</p>
<p class="western">The mood shifted with the fight declared over, and everyone present seemed to let relax immediately. Maxim and Oggie sat up, one to wrinkle his nose at his socked feet and the other to start trying to wipe off the excess swamp-muck that remained on him. Dimo stubbornly remained laying on the ground, pulling his hat down over his eyes like he intended to take a nap right there. Jenka squeezed his shoulder with one hand and then reclined a little, propping herself up on her elbows. Füst yawned and curled up behind her.</p>
<p class="western">“Vot vere hyu doing out here, Jenka?” Maxim asked, after a long stretch of silence. “Thought hyu said hyu vere done vit uz and never vanted to see uz again, after dot ting vit de sparrow maze.”</p>
<p class="western">“Yez, usually iz at least a year before hyu come check on uz after hyu say someting like dat!” Oggie said.</p>
<p class="western">“Dot time hy meant it, hy em never goink looking for hyu eediots ever again!” Jenka scoffed and tilted her hat down so only a narrow slit of her face was visible over her mask. “... But hy em heading home for a leedle vhile.”</p>
<p class="western">Dimo, Oggie and Maxim all tensed again and then forced themselves to relax. They’d known, in theory, that they were getting closer to Mechanicsburg by walking in this direction but they had been doing their best to avoid dwelling on it.</p>
<p class="western">“... Vot hyu going dere for?” Dimo asked, in a tone that might have been mistaken for indifferent.</p>
<p class="western">“Hy need to make a report to Mamma.” Right, the bar and the secret tunnels to it were still quietly open to Jägerkin. The detached could technically visit, but they weren’t supposed to unless they had a good reason. “... Und I found Koshtav’s hat.”</p>
<p class="western">Koshtav hadn’t been seen in a decade now. Dimo had last seen him heading north from Mechanicsburg with Nicholas and Tosk, hoping they’d find some forgotten Heterodyne heir in some of the more isolated towns in that direction. Dimo, Maxim and Oggie had decided to go south on the basis that if they were going to be on a hopeless suicide mission they might as well be warm. Years later, Jenka had found them wandering the Alps and told them Nicholas and Tosk had been found frozen at the bottom of a ravine, dead, and that Koshtav was missing.</p>
<p class="western">“... Und Koshtav?” Oggie asked, without much hope.</p>
<p class="western">“The villagers swore that they didn’t kill him, but they burned his body. They didn’t know that the hat vas important, so they just kept it,” Jenka said, voice so carefully neutral that her accent was barely audible. “I’m bringing it home.”</p>
<p class="western">There was no point questioning whether or not Jenka was sure the villagers had been honest with her, so they didn’t. If Koshtav had been hurt enough to die of his wounds, he really wouldn’t have accepted medical attention from strangers. That far from Mechanicsburg, burning a Jäger’s body probably was the best course of action; an unprotected grave might be dug up by a curious spark. Putting him to rest without a hat hurt more, but humans that far from Mechanicsburg couldn’t be expected to know that. The best they could do now was make sure that what was left of Koshtav- his hat- could be returned to his home.</p>
<p class="western">“How did he die, if dey didn’t kill him?” Maxim asked, tone more cold than the neutral one he was going for.</p>
<p class="western">“They said he vas already very badly injured vhen they found him, bleeding out in the snow. Vouldn’t let them help him, even if they wanted to, ov course. So they just let him bleed.”</p>
<p class="western">“How kind ov dem,” Dimo muttered.</p>
<p class="western">“Mhm.”</p>
<p class="western">“... How long ago vas dis?” Oggie asked. He did a better job at sounding casual than Maxim.</p>
<p class="western">“About two years ago, dey said,” Jenka answered. Their little patch of forest became very quiet and still for a moment as even the birds seemed to hold their breath.</p>
<p class="western">Ognian broke the silence with a growl. “Ve should haff been looking for him!”</p>
<p class="western">“Oggie,” Dimo warned, “don’t schtart dot.”</p>
<p class="western">“Ve could haff found him!”</p>
<p class="western">“Iz not your job to be looking for lost Jägerkin, Oggie,” Jenka said, not unkindly.</p>
<p class="western">“No, iz yours!” Oggie fired back. Maxim and Dimo both inhaled sharply through their fangs. Arguing between Jägers was normal. Arguing with Jenka, with that kind of sharpness in one’s voice, was not.</p>
<p class="western">“Oggie, iz not-” Maxim tried, but was cut off by Jenka who had gotten over her shock.</p>
<p class="western">“Yez, it iz my job! <em>Your</em> job is to find de Heterodyne!” Jenka was on her feet again now, growling under her mask. Oggie scrambled to his feet too and bared his fangs at her.</p>
<p class="western">“He could haff joined our group! Eet vould haff been safer!”</p>
<p class="western">“Safer? Hyu can barely keep <em>hyuselves</em> alive!”</p>
<p class="western">“Vell, at least ve haffn’t chust <em>lost</em> ennyvun for ten years!”</p>
<p class="western">“Haven’t <em>found</em> anyvun either!”</p>
<p class="western">“<em>Both of hyu, schtop!</em>” Dimo was crouched now, not standing but obviously ready to leap into action if they forced him to. “Oggie, iz too late now anyvay. Jenka iz doink her job, ve do ours. No point arguing.”</p>
<p class="western">They were all quiet for several seconds. Jenka and Oggie kept glaring at each other, both looking ready to attack, while Dimo watched them sternly. Maxim sat still, eyes flickering back and forth among the others, unsure.</p>
<p class="western">Jenka broke the stalemate first, turning her back on Oggie and climbing onto Füst’s back. “Back to vork. Hy haff to make my report, hyu three need to keep lookink.”</p>
<p class="western">“Und vhere are ve supposed to do dat?” Oggie sulked.</p>
<p class="western">“Hy dun care, there are lots of places around here hyu can go sniff around.”</p>
<p class="western">“Beetleburg izn’t far from here,” Maxim said thoughtfully.</p>
<p class="western">“Vell, don’t bother mit Beetleburg,” Jenka clarified. “Ve vould haff heard if there vas a Heterodyne in Beetleburg.”</p>
<p class="western">“Hy dun tink ve haff checked dere yet, ecktually,” Dimo said, rubbing his chin.</p>
<p class="western">“Iz practically<em> next door</em>, ve vould have heard!”</p>
<p class="western">“Vell, how hyu gonna schtop uz from going to Beetleburg, huh? Mebbe ve go even if hyu say no!” Oggie puffed out his chest and had a stubborn look on his face.</p>
<p class="western">“Don’t go vasting time just to annoy me, Oggie, do hyour job properly,” Jenka scolded him. “Hy em leaving now. Dimo, dun hyu let dem run off to Beetleburg.”</p>
<p class="western">“Vhy hyu tellink me dat? Hy em not in charge of dem!”</p>
<p class="western">“Iz too close to Mechanicsburg, hyu vill attract attention.”</p>
<p class="western">“But, Jenka-” Maxim tried.</p>
<p class="western">“No Beetleburg! Hy em not breaking hyu out of vun of dose jars! Now stay safe and out of trouble until I see hyu next, goodbye.”</p>
<p class="western">The three of them watched Jenka and Füst depart; all with equally annoyed looks and their arms crossed tight.</p>
<p class="western">“’Schtay safe und out of trouble,’” Maxim mocked. “Dat iz hypocritical, dat iz.”</p>
<p class="western">“Beetleburg iz a <em>goot</em> idea,” Oggie muttered. “De Boyz vere dere all de time and Master Bill vas friends mit all de gurls.”</p>
<p class="western">They both turned to Dimo, who was still glaring after Jenka and took a moment to notice. When he did, he looked back and forth between them before throwing his hands in the air. “Vell don’t look at me! Hy em not de vun decidink ennyting!”</p>
<p class="western">Maxim and Oggie grinned at him and clapped a hand on each of his shoulders in unison.</p>
<p class="western">“Hokay, den hy decide!” Oggie declared cheerfully. “Ve go to Beetleburg!”</p>
<p class="western">Normally listening to any plan that came from Ognian was a risky move at best, but Dimo figured that at this point in their search they had time for indulgent side adventures. Beetleburg it was.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Nail in the Coffin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>Hey dere, gorgeous.” He smiled a smile with way too many teeth. “Iz you okeh, or iz you gonna change into sum kinda ting mit no clothes on?”</em></p>
<p>  <em>The concept caused Agatha to blink in surprise, and wonderfully, her headache began to recede, almost as quickly as it had arrived. That was a rare and welcome occurrence. She climbed unsteadily to her feet while trying desperately to look like she wasn’t avoiding the monster’s proffered hand. “Um... not this time.”</em></p>
<p>“<em>Oh vell, ken’t vin dem all.” </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>- Foglio, K &amp; P. (Date not determined) <em>Agatha H. and The Airship City</em>. Transylvania Polygnostic Press.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>———</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Agatha Clay was having a bad day.</p>
<p>This wasn’t unusual for Agatha, who frequently had bad days at a very loud volume. The causes for these bad days varied more than people would think. There were her headaches, of course, which were bound to spoil anything interesting she happened to do. There were her teachers, many of whom were kind and patient with a scatter-brained but well-meaning young lady but many more of whom were ready to vent all their frustration on her for even minor mistakes. There was Doctor Merlot, who merited a category all of his own, as a teacher who seemed to resent Agatha’s very existence, even when she was sitting quietly in his classroom disturbing no one and who was only suspicious when she managed to complete some task correctly. There were her fellow students who seemed to view her as an object of pity or ridicule, which infuriated Agatha in equal measure- and in turn gave her a headache, ow.</p>
<p>The most annoying thing about this not-very-good-day was that it had actually started rather well. She had woken up in time for breakfast that morning. She had easily navigated the marketplace without being disturbed or distracted. Her first tutorial of the day had been Trans-Dimensional Music Studies and while Professor Porombescu always seemed to be waiting for something from her, she’d participated in the class perfectly well and even assisted some of the other students with their scales. Arabic III had followed, which was manageable enough after suffering through Doctor Caraiani’s mathematical seminar last semester. All in all, a very pleasant morning which managed to give her just enough confidence that being reminded of what a dunderhead she actually was in the afternoon hurt all the more.</p>
<p>“MISS CLAY, YOU ARE LATE!”</p>
<p>“What?!” Agatha froze in terror in the lab entrance, staring at Doctor Merlot with wide eyes. “But it’s barely one o’clock! I’m <em>early</em>!”</p>
<p>“The experiment started at <em>noon</em>, Miss Clay, you were informed as much last week.” Merlot descended upon her with murder in his eyes and Agatha couldn’t help shrinking back. “You were supposed to be here recording data nearly an hour ago! We’re behind schedule now because of you!”</p>
<p>“Silas, it took us nearly that long to finish setting up,” Doctor Glassvitch interjected, giving Agatha a sympathetic smile around the other man’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“And whose fault was that?! What’s the use of a lab assistant that shows up after all the preparations are finished?!”</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, Doctor, it completely slipped my mind-” Agatha flinched and tried to hide behind the books still in her arms as Merlot sneered at her.</p>
<p>“Like everything else does, it seems! Miss Clay, if it were up to me-”</p>
<p>“Fortunately, Merlot, it is not.” Another voice came from further into the lab and all three of them looked towards it. “Now leave Miss Clay alone, it was an innocent mistake.”</p>
<p>Doctor Beetle was sat in front of a complicated device, examining the detailed wiring and not looking up as he addressed them. Agatha still felt a rush of relief at the sight of him. Every day in the lab was a blessing, of course, but they were nicer ones when the Tyrant was actually present. Merlot could only berate Agatha so much in front of him and those were the days they got to observe the really interesting experiments. Agatha darted between her professors towards her mentor, carefully putting her things down on a cluttered-but-not-with-<em>important</em>-clutter table as she went.</p>
<p>“Doctor Beetle, sir, I’m so sorry. It really was an accident, I only just finished my morning classes and the courtyard was so crowded and I forgot I needed to rush-”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it, Miss Clay,” Beetle finally glanced her way and smiled warmly. “No harm done. We’re ready to begin the process now- can you record the data as we go?”</p>
<p>“Of course!</p>
<p>“Be sure to pay attention- I’ll want to hear your impressions when we’re done as well.”</p>
<p>“I can’t imagine why,” Merlot grumbled, moving to take his own position by the device and Agatha tried her best to pretend she couldn’t hear him. Instead, she focused on not getting too excited about the upcoming experiment and on finding a spare clipboard and graph paper on the nearby cluttered-with-things-that-were-necessary-but-not-<em>very</em>-important table. Glassvitch gave Merlot a meaningful look as he took position as well.</p>
<p>“Have you done any more work on your little clock, Mademoiselle Clay? Perhaps we can have a look after this is finished, oui?”</p>
<p>“Oh- I would appreciate that, Doctor.”</p>
<p>The day wasn’t ruined yet. She could save this. Agatha armed herself with paper and pencil and eyed the machinery with a determined look. It really was beautiful work. Doctor Beetle’s understanding of gears and clockwork was unmatched. Agatha wished she could put together anything half as complicated and still have it look so refined and elegant by the end.</p>
<p>“Excellent idea, Glassvitch, but first... Three, two, one, <em>begin</em>!”</p>
<p>The machine was activated and all three men began a complicated series of button presses and switch flips that Agatha did her best not to try to keep track of. Her job was to record the numbers and colours they were calling out- well, that Glassvitch and Merlot were calling out. Beetle seemed preoccupied with some other facet of the experiment and had a rather manic grin on his face. This was not unusual for a Spark and Agatha didn’t pay it much mind.</p>
<p>“Blue, green, blue, cyan-” Glassvitch said clearly, eyes on the lights before him. Agatha dutifully noted them down in one column, wishing they’d been able to find a red lightbulb in time.</p>
<p>“Forty-seven, ninety-three, eighty-seven, sixty-three-” Merlot shouted alongside him, as though if he put enough passion into his voice he would finally go mad. If only it were that easy. “One hundred and twenty six, thirty three, one hundred and sixty seven, four- wait, that can’t possibly be right.”</p>
<p>Agatha hesitated too. “Four? Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“Of course I’m sure! Two hundred and seven!”</p>
<p>“Green, green, cyan, blue- euh, blue again-”</p>
<p>Something was wrong with the machine, Agatha could tell. The data she was noting down was proof enough of that and she desperately rushed to keep up with what was being called out while also trying to analyse the situation. Something in the relay-</p>
<p>“Ow!” There was a sharp, stabbing pain in Agatha’s head and she nearly dropped her clipboard in response. “Um, Doctors, I think something-”</p>
<p>“Your job is not to <em>think</em>, Miss Clay, it is to <em>write</em>! Negative twelve!”</p>
<p>“But, sir-”</p>
<p>“<em>Three hundred and twenty-seven!</em>”</p>
<p>Oh, no, she’d fallen behind, how had she fallen behind? Agatha tried to focus on the clipboard again, scribbling down numbers and colours that were <em>wrong</em>, something was <em>wrong</em> and her head hurt so awfully much.</p>
<p>“Blue, cyan, blue- non, not blue, cyan again-”</p>
<p>“Negative seventy-eight!”</p>
<p>“But that can’t be right!” Agatha finally cried out, tears in her eyes from the pain.</p>
<p>“MISS CLAY, IF YOU DO NOT KEEP QUIET I WILL-”</p>
<p>“Now the secondary process!” Beetle cut Merlot off, yanking down a large lever with delight. The machine hummed louder, the lights grew brighter, everything was cast in cyan light- and then there was a shower of sparks that had all of them ducking for cover. The machine groaned and Beetle sighed before flicking a much smaller switch next to him that shut the whole thing off. “Failure. Ah, well.”</p>
<p>“If we hadn’t had that useless girl carrying on the whole time, this wouldn’t have happened!” Merlot declared, turning on Agatha with a snarl. He hesitated briefly when he saw that she was kneeling and holding her head in her hands, but not for long. “Oh, get up, stupid girl!”</p>
<p>“Mademoiselle!” Glassvitch said, much more sympathetic as he rushed to her side and put his hands on her shoulders. “Is it your head? Are you in pain?”</p>
<p>“I- I just- it was too much and I just-” She’d started trying to figure out what was going wrong with the machine. Predictably, that had been when her chronic headaches decided to strike. She should have known better. It felt like someone was trying to chisel out a section of her cranium. “I’m sorry, I just- I need-”</p>
<p>“Stop crying, you useless girl!” Merlot snapped. “What kind of childish, pathetic-”</p>
<p>“That’s enough, Merlot!” Beetle interrupted, stepping between Merlot and Agatha and glaring at his employee. “You know she can’t help it.”</p>
<p>Merlot glared back at his master but obediently backed down. He still continued to grumble. “One little headache and the whole world needs to know... As if I don’t have enough migraines dealing with such idiot excuses for students...”</p>
<p>“All of you calm down now. I knew this was one of the possible results. There’s no such thing as failure in science and I am sure we’ll learn a great deal from this!” The Tyrant actually sounded excited, rubbing his hands together as if he’d been given an exciting present. “Your notes, Miss Clay?”</p>
<p>“Oh, yes, of course.” Agatha sniffed loudly and regained her composure. At least she hadn’t <em>actually</em> burst into tears, whatever Merlot said. “They’re just-”</p>
<p>Face up, on the floor, for everyone to clearly see. A jumbled mess of overlapping columns and illegible writing. Agatha cringed. She was supposed to be halfway decent at note taking! She was technically a secretary!</p>
<p>“I see.” Even Doctor Beetle sounded disappointed now, though he was trying to hide it. “Well, we’ll just... Repeat the experiment at a later date, I think.”</p>
<p>“Doctor- I’m so sorry, Doctor Beetle, it was just so fast and I-”</p>
<p>“I know, Agatha, don’t worry.” She did worry though, she’d ruined any chance of getting something worthwhile from the experiment. Of course she worried. Doctor Beetle picked up the clipboard and looked over the sheet of paper, as if trying to decode it. Then he sighed. “It’s not your fault.”</p>
<p>Somehow that hurt almost as bad as her headache. Agatha looked down at the floor shamefully. They were all quiet as they cleaned up the mess of machinery they’d left- except for Merlot, who kept up a steady stream of grumbling that the others were well practised in ignoring. Agatha kept her head down, trying to avoid the pity and disappointment emanating from Glassvitch and Beetle. She would almost prefer to be shouted at by Merlot some more than face that.</p>
<p>Eventually, the workspace was as organised as it ever was before a project was completed. Agatha still hadn’t made eye contact with anyone since they’d started and was avoiding speaking. Doctor Glassvitch looked to his two colleagues helplessly, never very confident in reassuring young women, but received no support. He crept over to her and let his hand hover over her shoulder for a second, unnoticed, before dropping it hopelessly.</p>
<p>“... What about your little clock, Mademoiselle Clay?” He finally tried. “It was looking promising during my class yesterday. Did you find the parts you needed?”</p>
<p>“Oh!” Agatha finally looked up with a start, remembering the earlier offer. “Yes, I think so! Adam helped me a little and I made some adjustments.”</p>
<p>“Bien! Why don’t you let me see it?”</p>
<p>“Isn’t this place enough of a mess already, Hugo?” Merlot complained. He was ignored. Doctor Beetle stopped reviewing his preliminary studies to look over at them with an indulgent smile as well.</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t mind a look myself, actually.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Doctor Beetle!” No pressure. Just one of her favourite teachers and her mentor examining the machine she hadn’t even properly tested herself yet. Right. “It’s in my bag, one moment...”</p>
<p>It took Agatha two moments to locate her bag, actually, camouflaged among other discarded items as it was. But once she did, she removed the lantern clock-esque device and cleared a patch of table for it.</p>
<p>“I like the design,” Beetle said helpfully. Agatha was flattered but not surprised. The exposed gearage and bolts aesthetic was one they shared. “Rather a lot of bells, I see.”</p>
<p>“It’s meant to be an alarm clock,” Agatha explained, double-checking a few of the mechanisms and fighting to ignore the pain in her head. “The reverberations should also trigger a reaction to activate the- well, I’m hoping-”</p>
<p>“Why don’t you just let us see what it does?” Glassvitch cut her off before she could work herself up too much. Agatha nodded and gently wound the clock until it was set to just before seven o’clock. She tried to ignore how both men took a step back and Merlot moved to be behind the bookshelves.</p>
<p>For a moment, the clock ticked along quite promisingly. For a moment, Agatha had hope. The hour hand shifted over to seven, there was a short chime from a bell- and then there was a burst of heat and flame as the device exploded in a shower of metal pieces with a loud clang. Everyone ducked for cover and narrowly avoided serious injury.</p>
<p>“Ah-” Doctor Beetle hesitated before gingerly getting to his feet and eyeing the smouldering remains of the clock. “... I don’t suppose that was the reaction you were aiming for, Miss Clay?”</p>
<p>“What? No! Of course not!” Agatha yelped, skittishly moving around her device and fretting.</p>
<p>“You never know, that’s all,” Beetle said. As if Agatha would ever want to build a machine that exploded into fiery pieces and laid waste to its surroundings. At least, she hadn’t wanted to this time.</p>
<p>“I didn’t realise you had used combustible material, mademoiselle,” Glassvitch said, picking himself up significantly slower. There was a spark from the device and he flinched. “I would not have recommended-”</p>
<p>“I didn’t!” Agatha insisted. She couldn’t understand how this had happened, she had been so careful when she had connected everything together. Her head ached just thinking about it. “It’s all brass, I swear!”</p>
<p>“I don’t know why any of you are surprised,” Merlot cut in. He glared imperiously down at the wreckage and sneered. “Just be glad today isn’t the day she burns down the whole lab.”</p>
<p>“Enough, Silas,” Beetle said, raising a hand. He looked over at Agatha and sighed. Again. She kept making him do that. “Miss Clay, put the fire out and pack up your things.”</p>
<p>“What?” Agatha spun around to him in alarm. “Doctor Beetle, I swear, I can-”</p>
<p>“-try again some other time,” he said calmly. Agatha relaxed a little as she realised she wasn’t being kicked out entirely. “But I think you should go home and get some rest.”</p>
<p>She wanted to protest. She wanted to insist that she could keep working. She needed to if she was ever going to learn anything. But her head did hurt and she was tired and she had already made enough of a mess for one day. Agatha lowered her head.</p>
<p>“Yes, Doctor Beetle.”</p>
<p>“Good girl. Get a good night’s sleep.” Then he turned and walked away without another glance. Glassvitch patted Agatha on the shoulder before going back to his own work. Merlot continued to watch her as she smothered the fire and shoved the whole mess into her bag, accidentally snagging a few discarded tools without noticing. She murmured a goodbye before slinking towards the exit. A blast of cold air hit her as she stepped outside and Merlot stopped her before she closed the door.</p>
<p>“You know that in any other lab in the world, you would have been thrown out long before now, don’t you?” He said sternly.</p>
<p>Agatha sniffed and did her best to hold back tears. “I’m aware, Doctor.”</p>
<p>“I’m not acting out of malice, Miss Clay, when I tell you to <em>look into another career path</em>.” The worst thing was, he was telling the truth. He actually looked like he was trying to be helpful. “Do what every other unskilled girl does and find yourself a gullible husband instead.”</p>
<p>She should have fired back with some cutting insult. She should have declared her determination to do better and make something of herself. She should have made some critique on his own inadequacies and on how he was even less appreciated by the university than she was. She should have at least slapped him. Instead, Agatha just froze in place as Merlot turned and walked back into the lab. She stared at the shut door and began to shake with rage. She opened her mouth, possibly just to scream, when her headache suddenly tripled in intensity and made her double over in pain. She sobbed once, loudly, and a few passing students paused before recognising her. Then they kept walking, acting as if they didn’t see her.</p>
<p>“Why can’t I <em>do</em> this?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>———</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unable to bear the thought of navigating the crowds at the evening market with her head in such pain, Agatha chose to take the long way home and cut through the town cemetery instead. It was the closest thing Beetleburg had to a park and made for a pleasant little patch of green in the center of town. Despite this, it rarely had visitors even in warmer weather than this; people avoided the grounds ever since the Tyrant cracked down on university students going grave robbing. Agatha was just grateful for the quiet and the dim, early evening light. With any luck, her headache would fade before she got home and Adam and Lilith wouldn’t have cause to worry. That would certainly be the nail in today’s coffin.</p>
<p>Speaking of which, Beetleburg wasn’t an old town, but it was old enough for the cemetery to be crowded. Agatha had to take a winding path between gravestones and the occasional bit of shrubbery. Focusing on her breathing and trying to ease the pain in her head, Agatha left her feet on autopilot. Walk around the tombstone of Erik “Flyboy” Daedulus, dead of “hubris” since 1867, cut across the Von Groundings’ family tomb- which someone had left unlocked- and quickly stride through the shadows under the one oak tree-</p>
<p>“-Oh!” Agatha’s foot caught on something and she stumbled forward, arms waving wildly as she barely stopped herself from falling.</p>
<p>“Vhoops!” A voice, on the ground, in the shadows, she had tripped over someone’s <em>leg</em>- “Hyu okay, miz?”</p>
<p>“I’m- I’m so sorry, sir, I just-” Agatha straightened up and turned, gripping her bag tight. Oh, no no no, just what today needed-</p>
<p>The man leaped to his feet from the ground in one smooth motion, emerging from the shadows like he was one of them. Agatha barely had time to register his purple skin before he bared his teeth at her and revealed long, sharp fangs that gleamed in the early evening light. He was close, too close, and Agatha had no one she could call for help.</p>
<p>“Hallo, vot iz a pretty gurl like hyu doing valking alone-”</p>
<p>“<em>AAAAAH, JÄGERMONSTER!</em>” Agatha shrieked. But she had been taught how to deal with situations like this from a young age and instinctively swung her bag at his head. It made contact and- since Agatha’s bag that day contained two dictionaries, the remnants of a moderately sized clock, a large hammer and a box of nails- he hit the ground with a thud.</p>
<p>There was a roar of laughter from the shadows and two more Jägers revealed themselves, doubled over.</p>
<p>“Ho, dat vas great!” One of them crowed, still laughing so hard he had to steady himself against the tree to stay upright. His skin and hair were normal, but he had a curled rams horn coming out the side of his head. “Hit him again, gurl!”</p>
<p>“Vot are hyu doink, dummkopf?” The other one grinned down at his fellow Jäger. He was green and scruffy and if Agatha had needed to imagine a Jägermonster that morning, she probably would have imagined one very much like him. “Gettink beat op by leedle townies now?”</p>
<p>“Iz not fair!” The purple Jäger whined, holding the side of his head. “She haz bricks in dot ting, hy em sure of eet!”</p>
<p>“Dictionaries, actually,” Agatha corrected him. Now that initial shock had worn off, they all seemed much less threatening, even though there was three of them. She realised with a stab of guilt that the one she had hit was dressed in threadbare clothing, had only oddly coloured woollen socks on his feet and what was either a metal glove or a clank prosthetic. The blond didn’t even have the socks, though that may have been a choice, and no shirt under his vest. Teasing each other and complaining, they seemed a little less intimidating. A little. “Though I think I have a hammer in there too, so...”</p>
<p>“Hyu see?” The Jäger leapt to his feet again. “She iz valking around <em>armed</em>.”</p>
<p>“<em>Eediot</em>.” The green one said, shaking his head- then he stopped and sniffed the air. But Agatha had just fully realised how many heavy things she was carrying in her bag and how much it would have hurt if <em>she</em> had been on the receiving end and was now starting to fret.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, I just panicked and-”</p>
<p>“Iz fine, Miz, happens all de time!” The purple one tried to reassure her, looking somewhat baffled by the apology.</p>
<p>“Ho, yez, Maxim iz alvays gettink smecked around by de preddy gurls!” The horned one confirmed happily. “He iz verra popular dot vay! Dun hyu vorry!”</p>
<p>“It’s <em>not</em> fine, you didn’t even <em>do</em> anything, you were just <em>sitting</em> there, and I <em>hit</em> you- ow!” Agatha put a hand to her own head as her headache kicked back in. “... I was raised better than this!”</p>
<p>Sure, Lilith and Adam had never invited a Jägermonster into their home, but Agatha had seen what felt like every other construct imaginable pass through looking for help. She knew better than to treat someone poorly just because they had strange colouring or fangs. They were camping out in a graveyard, hiding in the bushes. They didn’t even have <em>shoes</em>. Clearly they needed help, not some idiot girl harassing them.</p>
<p>“... Hyu hokay, Miz?” The blond asked warily. The green one was staring at her, eyes glowing in the dim light, with a worryingly intent expression. Probably concerned for his friend.</p>
<p>“I’m fine.” Her headache actually wasn’t that bad, comparatively. It was actually already fading, Agatha realised at the same time she noticed her hands on the purple Jäger’s shoulders. “Sit down, let me see your head.”</p>
<p>“Iz really fine, Miz, hyu didn’t hit me dot hard-”</p>
<p>“Do as de Lady sez, Maxim,” the green one instructed and both the other Jägers looked at him in surprise. The purple one- Maxim, Agatha corrected herself- hesitated but then dropped crosslegged on the grass, hat in hand. Agatha knelt next to him and began combing through his hair, looking for a bump. Maxim tilted his face towards her arm almost immediately, breathing in deeply, which Agatha did her best to ignore. It really was very nice hair, so nice she actually felt a little envious.</p>
<p>“Dimo, vot-” The horned one whispered to the green, probably thinking Agatha couldn’t hear, but was cut off by an elbow to the gut. Maxim breathed in again and made a pleased sound- before suddenly tensing up. She couldn’t find any signs of injury but could feel his eyes on her.</p>
<p>“Dimo-”</p>
<p>“Hy know,” Dimo answered quietly. Agatha froze, hand still entangled in Maxim’s hair. The horned one gave a sharp intake of breath behind her.</p>
<p>“<em>Dimo-</em>”</p>
<p>“Hy <em>know</em>, Oggie.”</p>
<p>“Um-” Agatha straightened up, briefly surprised when Maxim leaned forward at almost the same time, glaring intently at her. “It looks like you were right, you’re not hurt... I’m very sorry anyway, of course.”</p>
<p>There was a tense moment as they looked at each other, Agatha uncertain and Maxim intense. Then he smiled, which was somehow worse.</p>
<p>“Iz fine,” Maxim assured her, grinning at her like she’d just given him the best news of his life. “<em>Mistress</em>.”</p>
<p>“Oh-” Agatha was flustered now, quickly getting to her feet. “Agatha is fine, really- I’m not really-” Her voice fizzled out as she finally got a good look at Dimo and Oggie’s expressions. Dimo’s smile could only be described as malevolent and seemed twice as big as his face, while the look in Oggie’s eyes gave the impression that he was on the verge of picking her up and running for the hills. The relaxed teasing air from earlier had evaporated. “... It’s nice to meet you? Um, I’m Agatha Clay.”</p>
<p>“Iz verra nize to meet hyu too, Miz Agatha Clay.” His eyes really did glow, Agatha noticed absentmindedly. So did his fangs. “Hy em Dimo and dese are mine brudders Ognian und Maxim. Ve haff chust arrived in town.”</p>
<p>“Oh- really? That’s... nice.” Now that they were past the awkwardness of the start of the encounter, Agatha wasn’t quite sure how to deal with this <em>new</em> awkwardness. She didn’t even know what had caused it. “Do you have... business here?”</p>
<p>“Ho, yez,” they said in unison, which was just incredibly creepy. Maybe Jägers were just like that? Agatha did her best to remind herself that they had technically been nothing but polite and patient with her and it probably wasn’t their fault that their teeth were so sharp. No one could help how those playing God had made them.</p>
<p>“Okay, well, that’s- that’s lovely. I’m afraid I should get home, my parents will be worried about me,” Agatha said, taking a few steps backwards.</p>
<p>“Hyu parents?” Ognian asked, stepping forward and around her. Agatha felt a little as though she was being circled by a shark.</p>
<p>“Yes- my father’s a blacksmith.” That technically had nothing to do with the conversation, but Lilith had always told her to mention it when strange men tried to strike up conversation with her. Agatha wasn’t entirely sure why. “He’ll worry if I’m not home before dark.”</p>
<p>“Vhy dun ve valk hyu home?” Maxim stepped forward and offered her his arm and a smirk. “Vould be rude to let a young lady valk alone at night!”</p>
<p>“Oh, I- I couldn’t put you to the trouble-” Agatha stammered. Three Jägermonsters on Forge Street. Everyone would notice. Lilith would be <em>furious</em>. “Really!”</p>
<p>“Iz no trouble!” Ognian said briskly. “Ennyvay, ve vanna talk to-”</p>
<p>“<em>Hy</em> vill valk de young miz home,” Dimo interrupted, elbowing Maxim out of the way and offering her his arm instead. “Hyu two keep vatch and dun go attracting attention.”</p>
<p>“Hoy, it vas my idea!” Maxim protested. “Hy vant to valk her home!”</p>
<p>“Hyu iz too loud, hy say hyu go be schneaky vhere she doesn’t haff to listen to hyu!” In contrast to his fellows, Dimo was giving off a rather relaxed air and still had his arm out for her, so Agatha gave in and took it. Dimo was, at least, fully dressed and slightly less eyecatching than the other two. Besides, it <em>was</em> getting rather dark. At least she didn’t have to worry about being mugged with a Jägermonster on her arm.</p>
<p>“Hy thought hyu vasn’t in charge?” Oggie sulked. But he stepped back anyway, apparently not ready to argue the point. Maxim copied him, pouting.</p>
<p>“Hy em not in charge, but hyu izn’t either,” Dimo said confidently. Then he looked back at Agatha with a comically lopsided grin. “Vhich vay, mistress?”</p>
<p>“I did say Agatha was fine, didn’t I?” No one had ever called her ‘mistress’ before. It was odd. “But, uh, just this way.”</p>
<p>Agatha lead the way out of the graveyard and onto the streets. When she next looked for Oggie and Maxim, they had already vanished and she wasn’t certain where to. Something told her they were close. On this side of town, at this time of the evening, the streets were quiet and they only passed a few people as they walked. Dimo turned out to be quite skilled at keeping his cap pulled low over his eyes and tucking his hands into his coat, and the other people were skilled at minding their own business.</p>
<p>“So,” Dimo broke the silence first. “Hyu poppa iz a blacksmith? He makes tings?”</p>
<p>“Oh- repairs, mostly. He makes things too, of course, as people need them.”</p>
<p>“He must be verra shmott,” Dimo said, making Agatha smile proudly.</p>
<p>“Certainly! The best blacksmith in Beetleburg, everyone goes to him when they need work done!”</p>
<p>“Hmm,” Dimo seemed to mull this over with more thought than Agatha would have expected for small talk. “Hyu family iz from Mechanicsburg? All de best mechanics are, hyu know.”</p>
<p>“Mechanicsburg?” Dimo nodded towards her neck. “... Oh, my locket. No, that’s just- I’ve actually had this since before they took me in. My uncle gave it to me when I was little. We’ve never been to Mechanicsburg.”</p>
<p>Dimo visibly slumped at this for some reason but rallied quickly.</p>
<p>“Chust a fan of de old Masters den?” Who- oh, right, the Jägers had served the Heterodyne family. Of course that included Bill and Barry, but now that Agatha thought of it she’d so rarely seen them associated with each other that it hadn’t crossed her mind before now. The Jägers certainly weren’t in any of the novels.</p>
<p>“If you mean the Heterodyne Boys, then I am. But I don’t think my uncle was.” Her parents definitely weren’t, not of the stories at least. Agatha’s free hand hovered over her locket thoughtfully. “Though now I think of it, my birth mother might have been.”</p>
<p>That had Dimo interested, she could tell. “Yez?”</p>
<p>“This belonged to her, apparently. It’s all I have of her.” There were the portraits inside, of course, but they counted as part of the locket. “It’s actually a funny coincidence because-”</p>
<p>Narrative convenience and dramatic irony are constant touchstones for the universe. Therefore, it was at this point that Agatha was interrupted from describing the amusing coincidence that was her parents’ given names by the clatter of some dustbins being knocked over and feline yowls in an alleyway ahead of them. It made her jump and bump into Dimo, who steadied her easily but growled in frustration. Ugh, no wonder, she was so clumsy today. It occurred to Agatha that Dimo must have a rather strong sense of chivalry to insist on walking her home and engage her in conversation all the while, given how they’d met. He probably couldn’t wait to be rid of her, but he was still managing to be a complete gentleman about it.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, it startled me-” Agatha managed to stammer an apology and pull her arm free to stand a little further away from Dimo. He didn’t try to stop her, but he didn’t look as relieved by it as she had expected either.</p>
<p>“No vorries, Miz Agatha, iz no problem.” He bowed slightly and gestured ahead, grinning disarmingly once more. “Ve keep valking und hyu ken keep talkink und if ennyting spooks hyu again hy ken go crush it for hyu, yez?”</p>
<p>“Oh, well, I hope we won’t need to <em>crush</em> anything,” Agatha replied, taking the cue to walk ahead.</p>
<p>“... Not even a leedle crushing?”</p>
<p>Dimo looked so despondent, looking up at Agatha with an exaggeratedly dejected expression, that she couldn’t help but giggle.</p>
<p>“Well, maybe a <em>little</em>. We’ll have to wait and see.”</p>
<p>He grinned at her and leapt forward to catch up with her, staying within reach but not trying to take her arm again. “Ho, ve mebbe get to have zum fon after all den!”</p>
<p>Agatha didn’t actually want to crush anyone, of course, mostly, but she was almost certain Dimo was joking anyway. Almost. “I expect there’s lots of crushing in Baron Wulfenbach’s army, right?”</p>
<p>Baron Wulfenbach was, after all, a tyrant. For all the lack of a capital letter, he came across as a much more intimidating one than the Tyrant of Beetleburg and even <em>he</em> got to do <em>some</em> crushing every now and then. But Dimo’s smile dimmed.</p>
<p>“Yez, I tink so mebbe- but ve dun vork for him ennyvay.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” That gave Agatha pause and she furrowed her brow, searching her memory. “But I thought all the Jägers joined him after the Heterodyne Boys disappeared?”</p>
<p>“Not all ov uz,” Dimo clarified, unhelpfully. Well, at least she wasn’t leading a Wulfenbach soldier back to the forge as well as a Jägermonster. Adam and Lilith would no doubt welcome the latter far quicker than the former. “Vot about hyu, Miz Agatha?”</p>
<p>“Me?” Agatha felt thrown off balance again, though at least this time it was only metaphorical. “I’m a student. At the university.”</p>
<p>“Ho! A shmott gurl!”</p>
<p>“Not really.” Embarrassment from earlier in the day burned in Agatha’s stomach. “I do my best and Doctor Beetle has been wonderfully generous, but I’m absolutely useless in the labs.”</p>
<p>“... Hyu vork in de sparky labs?” Dimo seemed genuinely curious.</p>
<p>“I’m Doctor Beetle’s assistant, yes. Sometimes I don’t know why either,” Agatha went on, filled with a sudden and inexplicable urge to vent her frustrations. “I can almost keep up with the theory and the readings he gives us, even if it takes me three times as long as everyone else. But whenever I actually try to <em>build</em> something I just fall to pieces! And if I’m <em>lucky</em> that’s all my machines do too!”</p>
<p>“... Hyu built a fallink apart machine?”</p>
<p>“Today I built an ‘exploding into hundreds of flaming pieces’ machine.”</p>
<p>“Ho! Dot zounds vunderful!”</p>
<p>“It was supposed to be an alarm clock! I don’t know what went wrong! There wasn’t even anything combustible in it!” Agatha gave a loud sniff despite her best efforts. Dimo looked mildly alarmed, but now that she’d started Agatha couldn’t stop. “I must have made a mistake with the rotary systems and then it clashed with the carillon and set off a chain reaction- if I could just get the gears to<em> balance between the bells</em>-” Like every other time Agatha had come close to finishing a real train of thought, there was the sudden sensation of a knife being embedded in her skull. “Oww- oh, not again!”</p>
<p>“Miz Agatha!” She doubled over, clutching her head, and immediately felt Dimo rushing to her side and gripping her shoulders to steady her. After a moment of his rubbing gentle circles on her upper back, Agatha felt a pressure lift off her head. The pain was still there, but less. From experience, Agatha could tell that at least this headache would pass quicker than most. Small mercies. It had at least faded enough for her to register Dimo making a waving motion with one hand, while the other stayed on her back, and... footsteps? She managed to look up again, but they were the only two on the street. “Hyu okay, Miz?”</p>
<p>He sounded genuinely worried, which made Agatha feel a stab of guilt. “Yes, I’m fine, I’m so sorry... I get these headaches all the time, they’re not a big deal. I’m used to them.” Dimo seemed unconvinced, so Agatha straightened up properly and did her best to smile through the pain. “I really should hurry home though. My parents will be worried.”</p>
<p>“... Ov cauze.” This time Dimo did offer his arm again and Agatha took it because she thought he really might insist on it this time. “Ve hurry, yez? Vhy dun hyu tell me a leedle more about hyu family vhile ve valk?”</p>
<p>Agatha at least had the presence of mind to keep her talk of her parents vague and distant. Her father was working on a custom order for Doctor Beetle at the moment, she wasn’t sure what the pieces would eventually be for. Her mother taught piano and yes, Agatha played too. Dimo’s family was also musical, how interesting, but he hadn’t played in a very long time. No, she didn’t have much free time. No, they weren’t in touch with her birth family. No, she didn’t know where they were from. No, Beetleburg wasn’t any more infested with beetles than any other town, sorry to disappoint.</p>
<p>“-decorative ones everywhere, of course, but I always thought the Mechanicsburg trilobites were prettier.”</p>
<p>“Not az tasty though!”</p>
<p>“Um, I suppose not.” They really had hurried. Before Agatha knew it, they were in front of Clay Mechanical. “This is me.”</p>
<p>“Nize place,” Dimo said, looking the building up and down. Agatha thought he was trying to get a glance in the window as well. She tried to subtly step sideways to block his view and then hesitated. Technically, the polite thing to do would be to invite Dimo inside, right? She wasn’t sure. Lilith and Adam were both home, so it wouldn’t be improper, but they were both wary of strangers in the house and of men that paid Agatha any particular attention. Though she didn’t think Dimo had meant anything like <em>that</em> by keeping her company, Agatha also didn’t think a Jäger would be very welcome anyway.</p>
<p>“Thank you for walking me home,” Agatha finally said, smiling politely. “It was very kind of you.”</p>
<p>“Hyu are velcome, Miz Agatha.” Dimo tipped his hat to her and smiled. “Ve are happy to help a nize gurl like hyu.”</p>
<p>“Good luck with your business in town,” Agatha continued. She edged towards the door and wasn’t sure if she was eager to escape or not. “Let me know if I can help at all.”</p>
<p>“Hy vill be doink dat, hy tink.” He spoke as if there was some hidden meaning in his words that she was missing. “Hyu sleep vell, sveethot.”</p>
<p>“You too, Dimo.”</p>
<p>Pleasantries complete, Agatha smiled at him again and hurried inside the house. She shut the door behind her quickly but paused with her hand still on the handle. That really had been nothing like what she would have expected from a Jagermonster. Granted, most of her knowledge came from the stories children used to scare each other and adults used to scare themselves, but she’d never heard anything to contradict them. Dimo- she hadn’t spoken to Maxim or Ognian long enough to judge- had been disarming and approachable. A little mysterious and odd, but considerate too. Actually, he’d reminded her of someone and she couldn’t quite place who...</p>
<p>“Agatha?” Lilith’s voice came from the kitchen. “Agatha, dear, is that you? I was about to send out a search party!”</p>
<p>“Ah- sorry, Lilith, I took the long way home,” Agatha shook her head to clear it and headed further into the house. “You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had...”</p>
<p>Perhaps not a <em>very</em> bad day though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>———</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dimo watched the forge from the street for a few minutes, waiting the upstairs lights to turn on, before he walked away. He only made it one block down the street before ducking into a dark alleyway. Immediately, two figures dropped down from the rooftops next to him.</p>
<p>“She iz of de family, hy ken smell it!” Oggie hissed eagerly, eyes bright and excited in the dark.</p>
<p>“Ve ken all smell eet, hyu vere de last to smell it,” Dimo grumbled.</p>
<p>How had they missed a Heterodyne in Beetleburg all these years? Jenka had been exaggerating when she said it was practically next door, but it was close enough and had strong connections to Mechanicsburg for decades. They should have heard something before now. No Heterodyne could avoid attention for that long- though Agatha didn’t seem like most of the family either. Yes, the smell was unmistakable, but the girl herself... She was very nice and seemed smart enough, but there was something lacking where he would have expected Heterodyne. Or even just a normal spark. Sometimes when she spoke she seemed almost close- but then it would fade. There was something off about her, Dimo decided. Like looking at someone familiar through stained glass.</p>
<p>“Does she know?” Maxim asked, practically vibrating with his own excitement. “Should ve tell her or get de odders first?”</p>
<p>“... Ve vait a leedle bit,” Dimo finally decided. The other two looked at him in shock. “Vait und vatch.”</p>
<p>“For vat?” Maxim asked, affronted.</p>
<p>“Hy em not sure. But someting iz<em> not right</em>.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Schneaky Vork</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>For centuries, the construct army known colloquially as the Jägermonsters tormented and terrified the Europan populace. Lead by their Heterodyne masters, they pillaged and destroyed towns and cities across the continent and beyond. Many have tried to face them in battle and failed, from the invading forces of the Huns to the noble armies of the Storm King. It was William Heterodyne, the last Lord Heterodyne and one of the famed Heterodyne Boys, that put a stop to the nightmare that was the Jägermonsters. Under his rule, they were imprisoned within the walls of Mechanicsburg, unable to leave and resume their villainous ways. With the disappearance of the Heterodyne Boys following the war with the Other, many feared the Jägermonsters would escape and take up tormenting the people of Europa once more. Instead, they were conscripted by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach as fighting forces for the Pax Transylvania. Many were shocked that he was able to command them and it lead to a great belief in his power as a Spark. But while much of the army allowed itself to be directed by the Baron, there were a handful of Jägermonsters too wild for him to control. They still roam Europa today, continuing the dark work they were created for, the last feeble remnants of a terrifying legacy...”</em></p><p>— Bakker, M. (1887). <em>Monsters and the Pax: What Now?</em> Witte Wolf House.</p><p> </p><p>Agatha didn’t end up telling her parents about her <em>entire</em> day. Dinner could only last so long and they did like to get a word in. By the time Agatha had finished recounting the clock disaster, she was exhausted and had to pause to breathe and finally eat. Adam took over the conversation then. Agatha quietly watched him describe a particularly difficult regular customer who just did not understand that if he wanted a perpetual motion driven engine, he was going to have to go to a Spark mechanic. It was a common dinner time story, as customers who did not understand the limits of sane science were, and Lilith and Agatha barely had to ask questions to clarify hand gestures at all to follow along. By the end of dinner they were laughing together and Agatha was nearly falling asleep at the table. Washing up was a quiet, comfortable business and Lilith sent her straight to bed afterwards.</p><p>It wasn’t until her head hit the pillow that Dimo’s valediction came back into her mind. Agatha’s last thought as she fell unconscious was that she hoped the Jägers had found somewhere warm to sleep...</p><p>...<br/>
...<br/>
...</p><p>Agatha dreamed in colour.</p><p>Agatha dreamed of fangs and claws and monsters of all shapes and sizes.</p><p>Agatha dreamed of silver creatures that were yanked back at light speed, as monsters pulled her away into warm, safe arms.</p><p>Agatha dreamed of lights and arches and monsters that hunted and monsters that guarded.</p><p>Agatha dreamed of battle and of music.</p><p>When Agatha woke, she already had a dim headache and she stared at the canopy of her bed with weary eyes. She sighed and idly traced the grooves of her locket with one hand. The locket wasn’t just all she had of her birth parents, it was all she had of her uncle as well. They’d always travelled light and while Agatha didn’t remember ever lacking things to play with while she was small, they’d arrived in Beetleburg with very little luggage. Barry had taken most of it with him when he left again, while Lilith and Adam distracted Agatha with new toys and glasses and her own room for the first time in her life. By the time she had realised this wasn’t one of Barry’s normal, short absences, it was too late to think of keepsakes. It hadn’t mattered though, not then. Uncle Barry would come back eventually, after all. Even at six she had been old enough to understand that. It took until she was eight for her to realise that he wouldn’t.</p><p>Probably Barry had meant for the locket to be a way for Agatha to remember her parents, but, in all honesty, she didn’t. She had never met either of them. The earliest memories she had were of Uncle Barry holding her close to his chest. The only parents she had known were Adam and Lilith and she couldn’t have asked for better ones. Not even ones that looked like her, that she could call Mama and Papa, that she could introduce without a long explanation. Agatha’s birth parents were miniature oil paintings and had about the same impact on her daily life. But when she looked at the locket she did remember her uncle. She remembered him putting it on her for the first time, telling her how pretty she was. She remembered him sitting her on his lap while he worked on some device, letting her hands follow his as he connected gears and wires. She remembered him holding her tightly, rubbing her back and humming, when her headaches were too painful to bear. She remembered her promise to always wear the locket and the childish belief that if she was a good girl who kept her promises, one day Uncle Barry would come home.</p><p>She was too old to believe that now, of course.</p><p>“Agatha?” Lilith’s voice called faintly up the stairs. “Are you awake? It’s nearly eight!”</p><p>Agatha continued to stare at the canopy for a few seconds before it sunk in. Then she leapt out of bed so quickly she tripped over her bedsheets and landed on the floor.</p><p>“I overslept!”</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>They’d divided up tasks quickly enough the night before. One of them should be watching Miss Agatha and the forge all night, one of them should be keeping watch around the rest of the town, one of them should be resting. Switch off at even intervals, since none of them had gotten a chance to sleep since they’d arrived in Beetleburg and they had been on their feet for days before that. Ideally, there would be more than one Jäger per task, with someone watching the town walls, someone investigating people like Tarsus Beetle, and multiple Jägers ready to leap to Miss Agatha’s defence if needed. But until they could get in contact with the rest of the pack, all she had was the three of them. The problem was, none of them wanted to let her out of their sight. Oggie had tried to sleep, really, he knew he was useless exhausted, but there was too much excitement and tension in him for that. Beetleburg had enough hidden corners and nooks in its streets for him to find somewhere to curl up out of sight and he had certainly slept in worse conditions, but he was really just waiting until dawn.</p><p>Ognian may have gone to relieve Dimo from his watch a little earlier than necessary.</p><p>“Hyu know,” Oggie said, creeping up behind Dimo. “Eef ve chust vent und told her vhy ve are here, Hy bet ve gets to keep guard from eenside de house instead.”</p><p>Dimo, to his credit, didn’t jump. He just kept staring at the second floor window of the Clay household. “Iz better to vatch de entrances from here ennyvay.”</p><p>“Uhuh.” Oggie settled in, shoulder to shoulder with his fellow Jager and watched the house as well. “... Deed hyu effen let Maxim tek a vatch or haff hyu been here like dis all night?”</p><p>“He said he haz to make heemself presentable for de new Miztress.”</p><p>“All night, den, hokay. Vell, iz my turn now!”</p><p>“Hyu iz <em>early</em>.”</p><p>“<em>Hyu</em> iz not sleepink for de lazt two days.” The plan had been to rest within the secure walls of Beetleburg, but their plan had been disrupted by the end of their long quest falling almost literally into Maxim’s lap. Which was just typical. “Go get zum rest-”</p><p>“Ken rest <em>here</em>—”</p><p>“—or Hy tell de new Miztress on hyu.”</p><p>He might have needed a crowbar to convince Dimo to finally leave his spot, but all he’d had was his halberd so he used that instead. Dimo had eventually given in or at least slunk off to a different hiding place that Oggie couldn’t see, which would have to do.</p><p>So Oggie spent the first few hours of the early morning positioned on the rooftop opposite Clay Mechanical, doing his best to be invisible, keeping his eyes and ears peeled for signs of activity. Agatha’s father started work early, the forge coming to life an obvious sign. Oggie didn’t get to catch a glimpse of his face, as he never actually left the building, but he could smell fires being lit and the sound of metal being moved about (it might have been nice to sit on the forge’s roof instead, which was bound to be nice and warm, but that might have been pushing his luck). The mother rose at about the same time, Oggie thought, he didn’t have Maxim’s ears but that was when lights started to turn on. Neither of them seemed to be in a rush to leave the house— which was probably good, Oggie conceded. The more people Miss Agatha had to guard her, the better, and her actual guards were horribly understaffed at the moment. No one was likely to come in through the downstairs while her parents were up and about.</p><p>Still, Oggie twitched with the urge to just go inside and keep watch over Miss Agatha from up close. He still wasn’t sure why they were putting it off— either Agatha Clay knew she was secretly Agatha Heterodyne or she didn’t, but whichever it was didn’t change what the Jägerkin would do. They should go inside, tell her what they knew, tell her the Jägerkin and Mechanicsburg were still hers, and tell her they would do whatever she told them to. If she knew how she was related to the family she could tell them and if she didn’t then waiting around wasn’t going to make a difference. She was the only Heterodyne they had seen since Bill and Barry vanished, even if she was an odd one. They’d completed their mission, the one no one thought they would, and now they should be able to go <em>home</em> but—</p><p>There was a shriek from the house and Oggie was on his feet and leaping across the street before he could even think about it. He landed on the Clay’s rooftop, saw Dimo climbing up the side of the building to one of the upstairs windows (Oggie <em>knew</em> he wouldn’t sleep), was ready to break in through the ceiling when—</p><p>“Agatha?”</p><p>“I’m okay! I’m okay!”</p><p>Oggie and Dimo both froze, Dimo hanging from what Oggie was pretty sure was Miss Agatha’s bedroom window sill. Fortunately, it didn’t face the street.</p><p>“You’re going to be late, dear!”</p><p>“I <em>know</em>!”</p><p>Oggie relaxed and let out a relieved sigh. False alarm. He carefully crept over to the edge of the roof— not that he thought Miss Agatha would hear him over her frantic preparations below— to glare at Dimo who grinned cheerfully back at him. Oggie made a serious of hand gestures telling Dimo to go away and get some sleep. Dimo made a very rude one back but did drop down out of sight. Which was probably as good as Oggie was going to get. The first thing Ognian was going to do once they’d come clean to Miss Agatha was ask her to order Dimo to take a proper nap.</p><p>Agatha was out the door like a shot, startling Oggie slightly as he tried to quietly rush to catch up. It was hard to race across rooftops without attracting attention, but luckily people so rarely looked <em>up</em>. Even in a town run by a Spark, which Oggie (a Mechanicsburg native for three hundred years and counting) considered rather careless. Agatha Clay certainly didn’t notice him or anyone else as she ran to make it to... presumably the university, though maybe she had some early morning appointment instead. There weren’t many people on the street at this time of day, so her path was fairly clear at least, but running like that Oggie worried she was going to—</p><p>The cobblestone streets in Beetleburg weren’t as well laid as they were in Mechanicsburg. Some stuck out at odd angles. Ognian noticed Agatha’s boot catch on one before even she did and was on the ground with an arm around her waist before she had finished falling.</p><p>“—Oof!” Agatha winced as she was caught mid-fall, briefly dangling over Oggie’s arm before she regained her footing. Her glasses were nearly dislodged from her face and she stood there in place for a long moment, looking confused and as if she had no idea what had just happened. Oggie grinned at her and the face-full of her hair that he had gotten and helped set her back on her feet.</p><p>“Goot morning, Miz Agatha!”</p><p>“Um— oh, good morning!” Agatha fumbled with her glasses and stepped back. Then she froze as she got a good look at him. “You’re— from last night!”</p><p>“Oggie, Miz Agatha,” he nodded politely. “Sorry about all dat, Hy chust saw hyu dere lookink like hyu vas about to do de flyink ting right into de ground! Und Hy thought Hy better do someting about dat. Hyu iz fine now?”</p><p>“Oggie,” Agatha repeated nervously. “Um, I’m fine, thank you! I’m sorry, I really need to pay more attention to where I’m going!”</p><p>“Iz no problem!” Oggie said. “Hyu chust trip over a new Jägerkin each time! Next iz Dimo’s turn, ve vill tell him to be lookink forward to eet!”</p><p>That made Agatha laugh a little breathlessly, which was good. Probably. Making the Heterodyne laugh was either really good or really bad, in Oggie’s experience. “Well, at least I can promise not to hit you with anything.”</p><p>“Aw. Ho, vell, k’ent vin dem all.” She didn’t smell as nervous now, that was something noteworthy. Most people outside of Mechanicsburg didn’t stop smelling nervous around Jägerkin until they started smelling terrified. Cautious then, not actually afraid of monsters. “Vhere hyu heading in soch a rosh, sveetie?”</p><p>“I’m on my way to class, I’m- oh, no!”</p><p>“Vot? Vot’s wrong?” Oggie looked up and down the street, searching for whatever had Agatha so worried all of a sudden.</p><p>“I’m going to be late!” Agatha pushed him aside to sprint up the street again. “GoodbyeOggieI’lltalktoyoulater<em>bye!</em>”</p><p>“... Fazt gurl,” Oggie noted. He had better go catch up.</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>Agatha sprinted down the halls and skidded to a halt outside the lecture hall with ten seconds to spare. Still struggling to catch her breath, she flung the door open with more force than necessary.</p><p>“I’m not late!” The clock on the wall ticked over to half-past eight just as she declared this and the professor at the lectern turned to raise an eyebrow at her. “I’m not... late...”</p><p>“No, you are not, Miss Clay, but you are disturbing your fellow students.”</p><p>“Ah-” Agatha straightened up and tried to catch her breath. “Sorry... Professor Moxylotyl...”</p><p>“Yes, yes. Have a seat, Miss Clay, and we can begin.”</p><p>Professor Moxylotyl waved her off, shaking his head as he shuffled through his notes. Agatha thought he might have been smiling, but wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. There was some giggling from the other students, but things could be pretty raucous before class began. Agatha ignored it and hurried to a free seat. There was a serious-looking young woman in the seat next to it, but when Agatha made an attempt to smile at her, she shuffled her chair over and ignored her. There was more giggling from the row behind them. Agatha resisted the urge to sigh and sat down, preparing to take notes and hopefully pay attention for the whole lecture. Her notebook was a mess of drawings, notes, lists and crumpled pages but she found a clean sheet in enough time to quickly scribble down what Moxylotyl had written on the board before he started replacing it.</p><p>It was, somewhat unfortunately, a very interesting lecture. How different intensities of light could affect flora and fauna, how light could be used as a tool, how it could even be a component of technology, building off discoveries that had been made thousands of years ago and then discarded, adapted for the modern world— it was all fascinating. Professor Moxylotyl wasn’t a Spark, but he was still an expert in the field and when the Sparkier students jumped in with questions and ideas he didn’t let them take over or distract everyone. Agatha wished she could have chimed in with some ideas for applications herself, but despite how exciting it all was, processing the information was like swimming through melted cheese. Professor Moxylotyl was kind enough not to mind repeating himself for her a few times, at least, and he didn’t rush to move onto the next slide before she had finished taking notes like other teachers sometimes did. But the third time she sheepishly asked him to explain a concept again someone in the row behind her groaned loudly.</p><p>“Well, Miss Clay, you see- Mister Munteanu? Are you alright?” Moxylotyl asked, squinting behind his goggles.</p><p>“Yes, Professor, sorry!” Regus Munteanu apologised insincerely behind Agatha. “Just eager to actually <em>listen</em> and learn something!”</p><p>His friends snickered behind their hands and Agatha’s cheeks burned red. Moxylotyl looked a little confused but then shrugged and went on with his explanation. Agatha struggled to understand it any better the second time, what with the quiet laughter and jibes being traded behind her.</p><p>“-Is that clearer, Miss Clay?”</p><p>“Oh-” Agatha froze up. It was not clear. She still didn’t fully understand how ultraviolet light could be used to fight contagious disease. “Um, yes, Professor. Thank you.”</p><p>He nodded and continued with his lecture and Agatha sank low in her seat and resigned herself to trying to look it up in the library later. She would just have to pay extra attention for the rest of the class. This wasn’t made easy by Munteanu and his friends, who didn’t seem to be trying very hard to be quiet. She did her best to ignore whispered comments on the state of her hair, the apparently befuddled expression on her face and the possibility that she was partially deaf. A headache started to build in the back of her head and Agatha leaned back in her chair and hummed a quiet note to try and fend it off.</p><p>“What is she doing <em>now</em>?”</p><p>Then Regus Munteanu— who Agatha only knew the name of because Doctor Beetle had been laughing over a letter his father sent the university last semester, asking why his genius son hadn’t broken through yet and why hadn’t Beetle done more to help him achieve this— smirked and spoke in a stage whisper loud enough to carry across most of the lecture hall.</p><p>“This is what happens when someone doesn’t go <em>mad</em>, they just go <em>loony</em>.”</p><p>For a brief second, Agatha’s world turned red and she very nearly stood up, turned around and buried her pencil in that <em>ignorant, spoilt, judgemental idiot’s </em><em><b>eye</b></em>— when crippling pain in her head had her slumped over the desk and groaning in pain. This was apparently the last straw for the boys behind her as they all erupted into laughter. There was a smattering of giggles across the whole room, for all that everyone knew the Tyrant’s assistant was Off Limits in every sense of the phrase.</p><p>“Excuse me- all right, that’s enough! All of you, settle down! That’s enough distracting everyone!” Professor Moxylotyl shook a pile of notes at them and waited for the laughter to stop. It did and then there was just Agatha, shuddering in pain in her seat. “Miss Clay, do you need to be excused? I can’t have any more disruptions if I’m going to finish this by noon!”</p><p>“N-no, I’m—” Agatha gritted her teeth and forced herself to straighten up. “I’m fine. Please continue, sir.”</p><p>She didn’t hear another word of Professor Moxylotyl’s lecture, but the pain distracted her from Munteanu and the others’ whispers as well. So that was. Fine. All in all. Just fine.</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>After class Agatha had secretarial duties to fulfil and so she spent a few hours combing through reports and translating them into nice, neat compilations. She wrote a few administrative letters based on some notes scrawled by the Tyrant and organised his inbox in terms of importance, as best she could judge. She removed minor issues and complaints from the pile and readdressed them to different departments that were better suited to dealing with them, since so many people seemed to think it was Doctor Beetle’s job to manage every broken drain or rude shopkeeper in town. It wasn’t as interesting as what was being worked on in Beetle’s lab, but it also wasn’t very difficult, either. Busy work so she could be useful and feel like she was earning her keep. She only had to stop once for a new headache and left the office before the workday was done. She stopped by the library to pick up some books and then headed outside. Spring had come, a little chilly still to make up for the tepid winter, and Agatha was mildly shocked at the lovely day outside that she had somehow missed until now. The courtyard was filled with students bustling about and talking to each other while they enjoyed the sunshine. Agatha took a moment to appreciate it herself. Then she began to move forward, navigating the crowd and tuning out most of their words as she passed.</p><p>“— and Merlot was a nightmare,<em> of course</em>.”</p><p>“There she goes— no, don’t look!”</p><p>“How should I know? I’ve never seen one before, not up close.”</p><p>“Why would one be <em>here</em>?”</p><p>“He can’t <em>really</em> be a Jägermonster...”</p><p>Agatha froze mid-step and looked around in surprise. It took her a moment spy the spot all the students were attempting to subtly direct their attention towards, but eventually she did. Leaning gracefully against the university wall— very pointedly <em>not</em> actually on university grounds— was one of the Jägers from the night before.</p><p>“He’s... awfully handsome for a Jägermonster,” someone in the crowd said, probably thinking he couldn’t be heard. Agatha noticed Regus in a cluster of his friends, eyeing the Jäger with a mix of terror and captivation. “I wonder who he’s here for?”</p><p>“You think he’s here for someone?” One of his friends asked.</p><p>“Well, I doubt he’s here to <em>enrol</em>.”</p><p>No one had actually approached the Jäger to ask what he was doing here or if he needed assistance, Agatha noted. They were all just stood around staring at him, too scared to approach but too intrigued to disperse. This was getting ridiculous, she decided with exasperation. Clearly <em>someone</em> had to talk to him and so Agatha was the one to step forward.</p><p>“Herr Maxim!”</p><p>This provoked another flurry of whispers as she strode out of the crowd, but they went unacknowledged when she made eye contact with Maxim and smiled. He moved towards her and smiled back, with far less teeth than the night before, and removed his hat to bow elegantly at her.</p><p>“Miz Agatha! Vot a pleazure!” He straightened up and put his hat back on with a flourish. “Und vot a surprize!”</p><p>“Did Dimo not mention I was a student here?” Agatha asked. Closer to him now, she could sort of understand how Maxim had apparently been deemed handsome. His hands weren’t as large and claw-like as Dimo’s, and, with his teeth not on full display, the only obvious indications that he was a Jäger at all were his ears and the purple tint to his skin. Besides that, his face had to be described as pretty and his hair was— as she had previously noticed— lovely. He had also, Agatha was pleased to see, found boots since she had last seen him.</p><p>“He may haff,” Maxim admitted. He moved forward to close the gap between them— ‘swaggered’ was the only word for it— and smiled just enough to show a glimpse of his fangs. “But dis time he iz not here to schtop uz from talkink to each odder, iz he?”</p><p>“Um, I suppose he isn’t,” Agatha said. “But I’m sure you didn’t come here just for that. Can I help you with anything?”</p><p>“Hy dun vanna trouble hyu if hyu iz busy, Miz Agatha,” Maxim said, gallantly. Agatha worried for a second that he might bow again. “Mebbe hy valk hyu to your next class vhile ve tok?”</p><p>“Oh, I don’t have anymore classes today. I was just going head home early.” If Maxim had business with someone at the university, Agatha could direct him and then take her leave. No trouble required.</p><p>“Iz nice day out! Vot if ve go for a valk in town instead?” Maxim suggested happily. Someone in the crowd actually gasped. “Dot’s vot I really vanted, hyu know.”</p><p>“You... did?” Whatever impression she made the night before— and hopefully she hadn’t made one in Maxim’s skull— Agatha doubted it had been good enough to merit this much attention. “Um, why?”</p><p>“Hyu iz a preddy gurl!” Maxim spun around in a move that looked rehearsed to get in position next to Agatha and offer her his arm. “Vot more reason do hy need?”</p><p>Agatha blushed a little and was lost for words for a second. Flustered, she finally managed to reply. “There are lots of pretty girls, Maxim.”</p><p>“None az pretty as hyu!”</p><p>“What... in Aristotle’s name... is happening?” Agatha heard someone— maybe Regus, maybe one of his friends— ask behind her, loud enough that Maxim couldn’t possibly have missed it. So he was just ignoring them then, fine.</p><p>“I’m...” Lilith would definitely not approve. “...Not sure that I should.”</p><p>There was a flicker of... <em>something</em> in Maxim’s eyes, a little like hurt, and his smile fell. Before Agatha could process it, he was just pouting at her.</p><p>“Hy understand.”</p><p>“I’m not sure <em>I</em> do,” Agatha grumbled. Maxim’s lips twitched a little like he was about to smile again. “I should- we should both go, really, someone is going to work up the nerve to do something soon.”</p><p>“May hy et least carry hyu bag for hyu?” Maxim looked so earnest and charming that Agatha felt herself waver.</p><p>And Regus Munteanu and his group of friends were already gossipping as if she couldn’t hear them. It would be all over the school by the end of the day anyway.</p><p>“... That’s very kind of you.” Agatha intentionally did not look back as she handed Maxim her bag and began to walk down the path.</p><p>“Oho, I haff de ulterior motive!” Maxim grinned devilishly and tapped his nose. “Eef hy em carrying de bag, hyu can not hit me mit eet!”</p><p>“Oh, no,” Agatha rolled her eyes, smiling despite herself. “Whatever shall I do?”</p><p>“Und zo I haff outschmotted de clever university gurl!” Maxim preened, strutting down the path with his chest puffed out like a rooster. Agatha struggled not to laugh. “For hy em verra schmott az vell az strong und handzum!”</p><p>“So I see.” It was easier than normal to walk down the street, Agatha noted, despite how many people were outside. They were getting out of the way to give Agatha and Maxim a clear path. “I’ll have to find something else to hit you with then.”</p><p>“Ho! Already vit de dangerous attacking vords!” Maxim said with a dramatic clutch of his heart. “Hy told Dimo hyu vos de scary type! Und he sez ‘ho, no, Maxim, hyu iz being silly, dot Miz Agatha, she iz a nize gurl who vould not be squashing two flies mit vun stone!’”</p><p>“It’s all part of my evil scheme, obviously.” It was silly, but Agatha was too amused not to play along. As if she could ever be dangerous. “I’m luring him into a false sense of security. You’re the only one who can see the truth.”</p><p>“Dot iz chust vot I said!” Maxim turned so he was walking backwards just ahead of Agatha and he could grin devilishly at her. People still got out of his way. “Und now Hy know your secret!”</p><p>“I suppose I’ll just have to kill you.” It was the first reply to pop into Agatha’s head, so she said it, but was briefly taken aback by her own dark humour. Suddenly she was worried that she had crossed some line and this was the part in the conversation where Maxim literally bit her head off. Instead he just tossed his head back and laughed.</p><p>“Verra, verra scary!” He grinned at her again and Agatha smiled nervously back. “Dot’s good!”</p><p>“Is it?” Agatha asked, a little sheepishly. “I know you’re only teasing me, but I’d never think of myself as scary or anything like that.”</p><p>“Who said Hy vos teasing?” Maxim tilted his head curiously. “Hy bet hyu could be verra scary if hyu tried, Miz Agatha.”</p><p>“Oh... Thank you,” said Agatha. She thought it was a compliment anyway and she did feel rather flattered. “It might be nice to be a little scary, I suppose. At least then people might take me seriously.”</p><p>“Somevun isn’t taking hyu seriously, Miz Agatha?” Maxim asked, sounding affronted on her behalf.</p><p>“Mm,” Agatha hummed and glanced over her shoulder towards the university. “A few people.”</p><p>Maxim glared back at the university and leaned forward so he could speak quietly to Agatha. “Hyu vant me to go<em> make dem</em>?”</p><p>Agatha’s heart swelled with affection at the kind offer, as violent as the implication might be. “Oh, no, it’s fine. Thank you though, it’s very sweet of you to offer.”</p><p>The Jäger stared at her for a long moment, as if he was waiting for some other response. Agatha had no idea what that could be, so she just stared awkwardly back. Eventually, Maxim shrugged. “Hokay, Miz Agatha, if hyu say so!”</p><p>“I do.” More awkwardness, though maybe that was just on her end. “Did you and the others finish your business in town yet?”</p><p>“Hmm, no, not yet, ve tink,” Maxim said, scrunching his nose up distastefully. “Dimo sez ve gots to be a leedle patient vit it yet.”</p><p>“Does he?” Perhaps that explained why Maxim had time to hang around with her then. “What are you three trying to do, exactly? Maybe I can help.”</p><p>Another thoughtful gaze, a little disconcerting coming from that face. “... Hy tink mebbe hyu ken, yez.”</p><p>“... But you still won’t tell me what it is.” Maxim grinned sheepishly and Agatha couldn’t bring herself to be very angry about it. “Well, let’s see... Something in Beetleburg, but not connected to Doctor Beetle. I would have heard if you’d spoken to him.”</p><p>“Dot’s right.” Maxim seemed amused, so Agatha assumed she had permission to continue trying to figure it out.</p><p>“Dimo said you don’t work for the Baron, so it’s probably not Empire business.” Which was what most people would probably assume from a Jäger. “Oggie was near Forge Street this morning, but you were hanging around the university, so... something connected to both those places...”</p><p>She couldn’t think what someone could be looking for that would be in the tradesman’s district <em>and</em> the university. Unless it was something connected to the lab work, but Maxim hadn’t actually been near any of those buildings. Maxim himself was looking at her a little eagerly, like he <em>wanted</em> her to figure it out, which was another confusing clue.</p><p>“You were at the university... But you weren’t trying to speak to anyone or get inside, so...” There was some leap of logic on the tip of Agatha’s tongue. She just couldn’t get it out. The other students had thought Maxim must be looking for a <em>person</em>— a sharp pain cut off Agatha’s train of thought and she winced.</p><p>“Miz Agatha?” Maxim’s concerned expression evoked the same guilt in Agatha that Dimo’s had. “Hyu hokay?”</p><p>“Ah, yes, I’m sorry!” Ow, ow, not so loud. “Just a headache. I told Dimo last night; they’re normal for me. I get them all the time.”</p><p>“He said so, yez.” Maxim’s expression didn’t improve, which was sweet but made Agatha feel even guiltier. He shifted positions so he was standing next to her (and when had they stopped?) and could rest his gloved hand on her back. “Hyu made a preddy hurt face chust now, Miz Agatha. Hyu need to sit down or someting?”</p><p>“No, I’m fine, I promise.” Agatha did her best to smile at him. “Really, I’m already feeling better.” Maxim looked unconvinced. “Um, I can go somewhere quiet if it would make you feel better?”</p><p>Maxim nodded at that, finally, and Agatha lead the way down the street. They were quieter now, but they still attracted stares and whispers from everyone else. Agatha did her best to ignore them while Maxim kept making eye contact with individuals, grinning at them, and then grinning harder when they jumped. Occasionally he glanced upwards, but only briefly, before going back to frightening passersby.</p><p>“Maybe we should go somewhere less crowded,” Agatha suggested. “Here, I know a shortcut!”</p><p>“Ho— um, mebbe ve schtay on de busy street!” Maxim protested, catching her before she could guide them down a side street into the residential district. “Iz a nize street, vit lots of de vittnesses und innocent byshtanders!”</p><p>“Um, yes, that’s why I suggested we go this way,” Agatha said. She turned the corner and waited for Maxim to reluctantly catch up to her. “It’s not that out of the way.”</p><p>“Yez, but if ve go dis vay den Hy tink Hy get yelled at, mebbe,” Maxim grumbled, looking around cautiously as they left the crowded main road.</p><p>Agatha blinked. “Yelled at?”</p><p>“Hyu tink Hy von’t yell at hyu ennyvay, dummkopf?” Maxim and Agatha both jumped at the same time as Dimo dropping down from a nearby rooftop and landed between them. He grinned lopsidedly at Agatha before snarling at Maxim. “Vot did Hy zay about de low profile, eediot?”</p><p>“Dot hyu vasn’t in charge und zo ve could do voteffer ve vanted!” Maxim whined. “Und hy deedn’t get to talk to Miz Agatha properly last night, iz not fair!”</p><p>“Hyu zed hyu could be doink de schneaky ting! Dis iz not schneaky!”</p><p>“Hyu iz too crenky, Dimo, did hyu effen take a leedle nap?” Maxim leaned around Dimo to pout at Agatha. “Miz Agatha, don’t hyu tink Dimo iz beink mean und crenky? Ve vas havink a nize time, yez?”</p><p>“Um— well, yes, of course, but—” Agatha felt rather flustered and put on the spot. She took a step back and almost fell backwards to sit on a nearby crate. “... Were you following us, Dimo?”</p><p>Dimo and Maxim both froze at that. They exchanged a look. Then Dimo sighed rubbed one large hand down the side of his face. “Keepink dese eediots out of trouble iz a full time job, Miz Agatha.”</p><p>“I... suppose it must be.” Agatha shifted into a more comfortable position on the wooden crate, feeling bemused. “You guys keep popping up when I don’t expect you. Is Oggie going to show up again now?”</p><p>“Eef hyu vant me too, Miz Agatha!” The crate lid beneath her suddenly rose as Agatha was lifted into the air with an ‘eep!’ Ognian’s head appeared. “Hallo! Hoy, Dimo, vot hyu doink here?”</p><p>“None of hyu beeznez,” Dimo insisted. He held out his arms to help Agatha down from her new perch and she tentatively took them as she hopped down.</p><p>“Hy thought hyu zed hyu vas gonna go tek a nap after hyu deedn’t sleep et all last night und den—”</p><p>“Schot op!” Dimo snapped at them. “Mebbe Hy slept und den did de sleep-valking all de vay here because Hy hed a dream about hyu eediots beink <em>schtupid</em>!”</p><p>“Crenky!” Maxim and Oggie exclaimed in delight together. Oggie grinned at Agatha, still standing in the open crate. “Hyu tink he iz in a bad mood, Miz Agatha? Effen doh ve gots a nize gurl like hyu here und eet iz soch a nize day?”</p><p>“Well—” Agatha hesitated and looked between the three of them. They were all waiting for her response. “... Maxim was attracting a lot of attention, so I can see his point if you were trying to be sneaky.”</p><p>“Hah!” Dimo crowed triumphantly. “Miz Agatha iz verra schmott und sees vot dummkopfs hyu both are! Actink schtupid all oder de plez!”</p><p>“Dot’s not vot she said et all!” Maxim protested.</p><p>“Hoy!” Oggie complained. “Hy voz beink schneaky az a verra schneaky ting! Vot deed Hy do?”</p><p>But why were they trying to be sneaky? Agatha thought about it while she watched the three of them continue to bicker. They didn’t want to speak openly about their business, but Maxim hadn’t been opposed to her figuring it out. They weren’t attacking the town or trying to get anywhere they shouldn’t, not from what Agatha had seen. Going by their behaviour, there could only be so many targets in town for them to have... If she just thought it through, maybe made some lists of different variables, she could figure it out, all she needed was to examine all the facts individually and put them together—</p><p>“Ow!” All three Jagers immediately ceased arguing and looked at her with open concern. Again. Damn. “Sorry, I just— ow...”</p><p>“Hyu head ache heppened again, Miz Agatha?” Dimo asked, moving closer to examine her. Agatha flushed with embarrassment (even while she was a little touched). With a few notable exemptions, most people just ignored her when this happened.</p><p>“Yes— don’t worry, it’s not a bad one.” She dusted off her skirt for lack of anything better to do and for an excuse to break eye contact. “But I should really be heading home. I have reading to do.”</p><p>“Ve valk hyu home again?” Oggie asked hopefully. At her hesitation he quickly added: “Or chust vun ov uz! Hyu ken pick hyu favourite! Iz my turn!”</p><p>“Hoy, iz schtill my turn!” Maxim said. But Agatha shook her head.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She felt a little guilty about it, but they said themselves that they were trying to avoid attention. “My parents will be home and...”</p><p>“... Und hyu momma von’t like hyu valking out around town mit a Jägermonster.” Dimo finished with a wry smile.</p><p>“Well—” A day earlier, Agatha would have said yes, obviously she won’t. Now she felt a little offended on the Jägers behalf. “It’s nothing personal.”</p><p>“Ho, dun hyu vorry about dat!” Maxim said confidently. “Hy em used to de parents vit de preddy dotters! Dey luff me!”</p><p>“Hy dunno, Maxim,” Oggie said with concern. “She sed her poppa iz a blacksmith. Hyu remember de last time hyu vent callink on a gurl mit a poppa like dat? Vhen he had de hot iron?”</p><p>Maxim winced at whatever the memory was. “Hokay, mebbe ve be careful after all.”</p><p>Agatha found herself curious. Maybe that was why Lilith always made sure she mentioned Adam’s profession when men approached her. Questions for another time, perhaps.</p><p>“If you’re planning on staying in town for much longer, I’m sure I’ll see you around,” she said as she backed away. “Right?”</p><p>“Ho, yez,” they chorused again, making her giggle nervously.</p><p>“Then I’ll see you later. Good afternoon!”</p><p>“Goot afternoon, Miz Agatha!” Oggie waved cheerfully, while Maxim and Dimo just nodded politely as she left. Unbeknown to her, they watched her patiently as she walked around the corner and headed down the street. Once she was out of sight, Maxim leaned slightly towards Dimo.</p><p>“Hyu vasn’t wrong. Someting iz not right.”</p><p>“Mhm.” Dimo stared in the direction Agatha had vanished thoughtfully for a moment. Then he turned and frowned at Maxim. “Hoy, vhere did hyu get dat bag?”</p><p>“... Vhoops!”</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>Agatha made it all the way to Forge Street before the lack of weight on her arm finally sunk in and she realised what was missing.</p><p>“Oh, no, my bag!” She spun around hopelessly, as though it might spontaneously appear in front of her. “Right, Maxim— ugh, how could I forget? So stupid...”</p><p>There was nothing for it. She was going to have to run all the way back into the center of town to either find Maxim or hope he had left her bag somewhere obvious. Hopefully not so obvious that someone else would have helped themselves to it. There was very little thievery in Beetleburg, the glass jars made sure of that, but you could only ask so much of people. Agatha sighed. First she had better head inside and tell Lilith or Adam where she was going. This was probably going to make her late for dinner. She walked down her street despondently and was actually in the process of opening the door when her foot nudged against something at the front step that shouldn’t be there. She looked down.</p><p>“— My bag!” She quickly snatched it up from the ground and checked inside. Yes, her bag. With everything that should have been there inside. On her doorstep. “Huh.”</p><p>Hesitantly, Agatha looked around the street. No one was looking in her direction and everyone was behaving normally. On a hunch, Agatha looked slightly up, towards the rooftops— but didn’t see anyone there either. No sound, no movement.</p><p>“... Thank you,” Agatha said, just in case.</p><p>There was no response, but she felt like she had been heard anyway.</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>“How deed she know? Hy vos so sottle!”</p><p>“<em>Eediot.</em>”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Dimo: Hokay, hyu ken go talk to Miz Agatha but remember hyu gots to be <em>schneaky</em> und <em>sottle</em>!<br/>Maxim: Yez, yez, Hy know! Hy vill be schneaky az all get out!<br/>/Maxim shows up at Agatha’s school to impersonate her sparkly, anime boyfriend.<br/>Maxim: No vun vill suspect a ting! </p><p>Alternatively:<br/>Maxim: Hy roll to seduce de Heterodyne.<br/>Dimo: <em>No.</em></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Personal Responsibility</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> “The Jägers back on Castle Wulfenbach had been... she paused in her thoughts, confused. Well, she couldn’t really say they’d been especially kind, or terribly smart, or even particularly helpful... but she realized that she had liked them—been drawn to them. Trusted them. Trusted them to do what, exactly, she couldn’t say, but the fact was that she had felt comfortable around them.”</em>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>— Foglio, K. &amp; P. (Date not determined). <em>Agatha H. and the Clockwork Princess.</em> Transylvania Polygnostic Press.</p><p>———</p><p>It wasn’t until dinner that Agatha worked up the nerve to broach the subject with her parents.</p><p>“You’re awfully quiet this evening, Agatha,” Lilith said after they’d sat down to eat. “Is anything bothering you, child?”</p><p>“Not bother, really,” Agatha assured her. Adam smiled reassuringly at her and Agatha smiled back. “It’s just, um... Did you hear about the Jägers in town?”</p><p>Her parents both tensed up immediately, the relaxing atmosphere gone in a blink of an eye. Adam actually dropped his knife and fork.</p><p>“Jägers? Here?” Lilith asked, leaning towards Agatha to look her over, as though she was worried she’d missed some injury. “What were they doing? Did they see you?”</p><p>“<em>See</em> me?” Agatha looked back and forth between them, confused. But Lilith kept staring at her insistently and Adam had actually gotten out of his chair to peer cautiously out the window onto the street. “Um, I suppose so? Should they not have?”</p><p>“No, of course— why shouldn’t they?” Lilith shook her head and managed to calm down a little. Adam pulled the curtains shut and joined them again. “But they didn’t... do anything to you?”</p><p>“<em>Lilith!</em>”</p><p>“Anything odd, I mean!” Lilith clarified unhelpfully. “Or say anything strange or... I don’t know, tried to make you go somewhere with them? Did they act as though they knew you?”</p><p>Agatha wasn’t sure how to answer that. Certainly, all three Jägers were odd and said all sorts of strange things but she had no idea what Lilith was getting at specifically. “I... didn’t get the impression that they knew me at all, no.”</p><p>Adam and Lilith both relaxed at this. Agatha decided to refrain from mentioning how much she had spoken to them and how much she had enjoyed their company, to her surprise. She definitely shouldn’t tell them that the Jägers knew where she lived. They might <em>really</em> panic then.</p><p>“Right, of course they wouldn’t.” Lilith slumped back in her chair and Adam reached across the table to take her hand. “Still, Jägerkin in Beetleburg...”</p><p>“I don’t think they were here on Empire business, at least,” Agatha said, hoping that would reassure her parents. “They might just be passing through.”</p><p>“Let’s hope so.” Lilith straightened up and squeezed Adam’s hand. When she let go, Adam made a series of quick hand gestures, only some of which Agatha recognised. “Yes, dear, I know. Agatha, child, what do you think about staying in the house over the next few days? You could help me with my canning or... maybe in the forge?”</p><p>“What?” Now Agatha was the one to jump upright in her chair. “I can’t do that! I’m supposed to help in Doctor Beetle’s lab all day tomorrow! I can’t miss it!”</p><p>“I’m sure Doctor Beetle will understand, dear,” Lilith assured her, Adam nodding alongside her. “And it’s only until the Jägers leave town. I’d just feel safer that way.”</p><p>“But that’s ridiculous! What do you think they’re going to do, pick me up and run away with me?” Agatha asked, gesticulating wildly. Lilith and Adam both winced.</p><p>“Jägers are <em>dangerous</em>, Agatha,” Lilith insisted. “They’re violent and unpredictable and they take pride in being terrifying. I don’t <em>want</em> to know what they might try to do to you!”</p><p>So far what Dimo, Maxim and Oggie wanted to do to her seemed to include friendly conversation, walking her places, returning her belongings, stopping her from hurting herself and making her laugh. Still, she couldn’t help getting the impression that they were rather... lost. After a few encounters, Agatha wasn’t sure why she had ever been scared of them at all. Yes, she was beginning to suspect that they were following her, but she felt like it was intended kindly. She doubted Adam and Lilith would find that comforting though. Agatha folded her arms and glared at her parents.</p><p>“Even if they were going to try something, they would hardly do it in the middle of Doctor Beetle’s lab. Or in town. You’re both being ridiculous.” Adam and Lilith shared a meaningful look. Usually, Agatha found that habit of theirs endearing. At that moment, however, she found it a little annoying. She was eighteen now, they could discuss this like adults. “Why are you so certain they’re even dangerous? You haven’t met them!”</p><p>“We’ve met enough of them,” Lilith said firmly. “Believe me when I say I’m sure anything a Jäger has to say is unsuitable for young ladies to listen to.”</p><p>“But—”</p><p>“<em>But </em>you should finish your meal before it gets cold. We’ll discuss this in the morning.”</p><p>Agatha wanted to keep arguing, but she could feel a warning twinge of pain in her head as her anger brewed. If she started shouting, it would get even worse. Getting worked up and losing her temper never ended well for her; even a mildly passionate debate could lead to tears and horrible pain. So Agatha took a deep breath and attacked her food with her knife and fork instead. She wouldn’t argue with her parents, even if they were being uncharacteristically unfair. Even if they were undermining the very values they had taught her.</p><p>Lilith and Adam might know some Jägers, but they clearly didn’t know <em>her</em> Jägers.</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>From the rooftop opposite Clay Mechanical, three sets of eyes watched surreptitiously. The angle wasn’t ideal for actually seeing inside the room, but none of them wanted to risk being discovered and frightening the family inside. It was enough to see shadows moving, catch the odd voice and know their mistress was there. One large figure blocked the light in the window for a moment and one of the watchers could make out the dark features of what had to be Agatha’s father— before the curtains closed on him.</p><p>“Hy tink dey know ve iz here, brudders,” Dimo grumbled, glaring intently at the dim light.</p><p>“Vot?” Oggie asked, leaning over his shoulder to get a better look. “But ve haff been zo sottle und schneaky!”</p><p>“Ve haff, bot Hy gots a feelink...”</p><p>“Dey vere arguink over zumting,” Maxim said, closing his eyes as if it would help his hearing. “Iz quiet now, but Hy heard Miz Agatha shoutink a leedle bit.”</p><p>“Miz Agatha vos shoutink?” Oggie asked, perking up a little. The young mistress had so far come across as rather timid and polite, not adjectives typically applied to any of the Heterodynes. If she had a temper after all, that was reassuring.</p><p>“Vot about?” Dimo asked, still watching the window. The face had been vaguely familiar...</p><p>“Hy tink it vas her, her momma vas talking too. Poppa vas stayink out ov it. Ken’t tell vot it vas about from here... Tink dey mentioned uz, bot Hy could be wrong.”</p><p>All three Jagers shifted uncomfortably on the spot, avoiding looking at each other.</p><p>“Mebbe Miz Agatha vos tellink her momma und poppa about uz und how moch she likes uz and it made dem zo happy dey schtarted shoutink about eet,” Oggie said, hopefully.</p><p>“Or mebbe she vos tellink dem how de scary monster tings kept followink her around town und dey schtarted shoutink about dot,” Dimo grumbled.</p><p>“Miz Agatha didn’t mind dat,” Maxim said defensively. “Ve vas havink a verra nize valk und a goot time!”</p><p>“She iz a leedle shy, but Hy dun tink she vas <em>shcared</em>,” Oggie agreed. “Und she said tenk hyu about de bag!”</p><p>“Mebbe,” Dimo nodded begrudgingly. Oggie nudged him with his elbow.</p><p>“Dimo.” Oggie kept nudging Dimo until he finally turned to look him in the eye. “Vot are ve vaiting for?”</p><p>“... Hy dunno,” Dimo sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “She iz ov de family, Hy em pretty dem sure. Hy chust feel like ve are schtill <em>missink</em> sumting.”</p><p>“Perhaps it mek more sense vhen ve tok to her?” Maxim suggested. “She iz a schmott gurl, effen if she iz not a <em>schmott</em> gurl.”</p><p>“Hyu tink ve could mebbe just pick her op und run avay mit her to Mechanicsburg?” Oggie asked wistfully, unaware of how he was mirroring the conversation inside. “Mamma can explen it all to her den— she might like to hear it from unodder gurl.”</p><p>“Ve are not kidnapping de Heterodyne,” Dimo said sternly.</p><p>“Iz not kidnapping if ve is bringink her <em>home</em>!”</p><p>“Ve haff got to do <em>sumting</em>,” Maxim said. “Und iz op to her vot ve do, yez?”</p><p>“... Yez,” Dimo conceded. At the end of the day, all this thinking stuff wasn’t his job. He’d <em>done</em> his job. “Ve tok to her tomorrow.”</p><p>Maxim and Ognian cheered silently and grinned at each other over the top of his head. Tomorrow, they got to have a Heterodyne again.</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>The next morning, Lilith woke early and began her morning chores quietly. She hushed Adam when he made his way downstairs— and received an affronted look in return— before she pointed up towards their adopted daughter’s room. It was quiet, so Agatha was probably still asleep, even though her alarm should have gone off five minutes ago. With any luck, she would sleep in. Adam nodded once he understood and moved into the forge, beginning the more silent parts of his morning routine. Lilith sighed. They would have to send word to Beetle not to expect Agatha that day and why, but he probably already knew.</p><p>Jägerkin in Beetleburg! The masters never would have allowed it. Of course, they never would have allowed the Jägerkin to leave Mechanicsburg at all, but Beetleburg had always been especially off-limits. Not that any of them cared what the masters would have wanted now, Lilith supposed. She would just have to hope they didn’t cause any trouble while they were here and keep Agatha away from them. Lilith wasn’t sure how recognisable Agatha would be to them— she looked like Bill and Lucrezia, yes, but it wasn’t obvious— but that was a risk she didn’t want to take. They would almost definitely recognise herself and Adam. That could be managed, so long as they made sure not to reveal that they had seen Master Barry. They had reasons for being in Beetleburg, reasons for staying out of the public eye, and she hoped the Jägers would respect them. But they would have questions and if they reported to Klaus...</p><p>They didn’t have to leave town yet. No one had recognised them, no one had asked any questions— Lilith knew better than most how surprisingly subtle Jägers could be, but they would have noticed by now if they had been found out. Running could very well draw <em>more</em> suspicion to them. Better to lay low, out of sight, not attract attention, until the threat had moved on.</p><p>Maybe, Lilith thought, they would get especially lucky and Agatha would sleep the whole day away!</p><p>“<em>I’m late!</em>”</p><p>Lilith jumped and spun around as her daughter was suddenly rushing out of the stairwell at a breakneck pace, ready to run out the door already.</p><p>“Agatha! I didn’t even hear you wake up!”</p><p>“Gotta go, gotta be on time!” Agatha dodged around her mother and flung the door open. “I’ll see you later!”</p><p>“Agatha— Agatha, wait! We need to—”</p><p>“No time to talk, Lilith, I’m late!” Agatha ran outside and took off down the street. “Love you!”</p><p>“Agatha! Agatha, remember you—” Lilith ran after her, but Agatha was too fast. She’d been prepared for this and Lilith hadn’t expected it at all. “<em>Agatha!</em>”</p><p>“Bye, Lilith!”</p><p>Too late, Lilith realised she was halfway down the street, in the open air, and all her neighbours were staring at her. The mason’s wife leaned over and whispered something to her son who nodded. Old Frau Leidlzer was leaning out her second-floor window watching the show. Agatha was successfully putting more distance between them and probably doing a <em>better</em> job at avoiding attention than her mother. Running through town and shouting at the girl was a hundred times more likely to attract unwelcome attention than Agatha being in a laboratory all day.</p><p>They had nothing to worry about, Lilith told herself. So long as Agatha was wearing her locket, there was no reason for anyone to notice her. No reason for anyone to notice any of them. She gave a frustrated sigh before heading back into the forge.</p><p>Lilith missed someone watching her from the mason’s roof. This was a shame; she might have gotten a laugh out of the shocked look on his face.</p><p>Dimo hadn’t been a ‘sneaky’ Jäger before being detached. Hadn’t been any specific kind of Jäger at all, to be honest, beyond ‘one that lived longer than a lot of the others’. But, however much Jenka complained, he had picked up a few tricks over time. Ones he had rarely needed to bother with before being detached, ones that hadn’t been necessary when he had been within the safe walls of Mechanicsburg or surrounded by the pack. Even on the rare occasions he had been separated from the others, things had been different. People a hundred years ago were even more hesitant to trouble a lone Jägermonster than they were now— even if you could take him down, no one wanted to know what would happen if the Heterodyne came looking for him.</p><p>(People didn’t worry about that so much these days. Sometimes, if Dimo was lucky, they would worry about the Baron and didn’t <em>that</em> sting?)</p><p>The detached Jägerkin had all needed to get better at being sneaky, at being subtle, at being <em>cautious</em>. If they didn’t then they didn’t last long. They all knew how to vanish from sight, of course, but it was no longer just to make fights more interesting. It was an adjustment; Maxim and Oggie still hadn’t gotten the hang of it, really. Dimo had needed to pick up the slack. He’d picked up some tricks over the years, the kind other constructs relied on as a matter of survival— how not to draw attention to yourself, how to look nonthreatening, how to put people at ease, how to pick out the sympathetic from the defensive. How to avoid trouble instead of seeking it out.</p><p>(He shouldn’t have had to bother, this wasn’t what he was made for, but it wasn’t changing any time soon. Maybe one day, maybe, it was still up in the air, but not <em>soon</em>.)</p><p>So when he saw a patchwork woman calling after Miss Agatha, he noticed how she flinched at the uninvited attention, noticed all the ways she was hiding her appearance, remembered how Miss Agatha hadn’t wanted to share many personal details about her parents, how she was so wary of attracting attention. Several details fell into place. He still didn’t have the full story, but he had confirmation; something more than a stray heir turning up by chance was going on here.</p><p>(His claws dug into the roof tiles as he struggled not to react further, <em>we thought you were gone</em> warring with <em>did they really leave you behind too</em>?)</p><p>Dimo watched the woman who had to be Miss Agatha’s foster mother retreat to the forge— he hadn’t gotten a good look but Agatha’s foster father was a large man, Dimo remembered— unnoticed. Once he was sure she wasn’t coming back out, he dropped down from his hidden perch and moved on. Now he knew who they were spying on, staying too close was an unnecessary risk if Miss Agatha wasn’t home. The Clays were well equipped to protect themselves and were more likely to notice a Jäger in hiding than anyone else in town.</p><p>(It wasn’t very surprising that she wasn’t using her real name.)</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>She’d done it. She’d gotten away with it! She’d actually pulled it off! Agatha was delighted, running through the streets and making sure her mother couldn’t catch her under the guise of running late. She was actually a few minutes early still, but hopefully no one would notice that. It had been a piece of work to wake up before her alarm, get dressed in silence and make it downstairs without warning Lilith. Lilith, who Agatha had successfully tricked! She could hardly believe it. It was enough to make her feel a pang of guilt— but she couldn’t hide inside all day for no reason. An adult woman should be able to argue her case with her parents, but Agatha knew from experience how difficult that could be. Lilith and Adam would present their argument firmly and say they only cared about her safety, any defence Agatha could form would make her emotional and cause a headache, and by the time everything calmed down she would be late for school anyway.</p><p>Besides, an adult woman shouldn’t need her parents' permission to leave the house anyway.</p><p>Agatha slowed down once she determined that she wasn’t being chased. It was busy as normal on the market street and Agatha stopped in front of a butcher shop to catch her breath. The crowds gradually nudged her along until she was out of the traffic, no one paying her very much mind. Agatha hesitated and looked around, biting her lip. Yes, no one seemed to be looking at her at all. Agatha gingerly crept towards an alley bordering the butcher shop, so obviously suspicious that anyone not totally absorbed in their own problems couldn’t have helped noticing her. Luckily, that didn’t include many of the people out on the streets of Beetleburg this early in the morning. Agatha paused and then quickly darted down the alley, turning corners and ducking between the back of shops until she was in a quiet spot empty of people. A pigeon squawked obscenities at her— Lilith would have threatened to wash her mouth out with soap for repeating them— before flying away and Agatha was left alone. Alone in a dank, filthy, slightly damp alleyway.</p><p>Well, at least if she embarrassed herself, there wouldn’t be any witnesses.</p><p>“Here I am,” Agatha started, swaying on the heels of her feet. “All alone in this dark alleyway, where I’m all by myself...” There was no sound in response. “What a shame there’s no one here!” Silence. Agatha waited, tense and straining her ears. “Hello?” Even more silence. “Um, is anyone there?”</p><p>Still no answer. Agatha huffed and then closed her eyes for a moment to try and ward off a headache she could feel coming. It wasn’t a big deal, she had just... had a feeling...</p><p>“... If you’re <em>not</em> actually there, I’m going to feel ridiculous.”</p><p>“Vell, ve kent haff dat,” Ognian said cheerfully, appearing from around a corner with a devious smile. Maxim stepped out of the shadows, adjusting his hat and grinning at Agatha.</p><p>“Deed hyu need sumting, sveethot?”</p><p>“Oh! Um, no, not really.” She hadn’t actually thought this far ahead, Agatha realised with embarrassment. The plan had just been to confirm her suspicions and possibly figure out <em>why</em> the Jägers always seemed to be nearby. “I just wanted...” To see them again, which was an embarrassing answer and one likely to give the wrong impression. “... To ask how you were!”</p><p>Maxim and Oggie exchanged bemused glances.</p><p>“Ve are verra vell, Miz Agatha, tenk hyu,” Maxim finally said. Agatha smiled at him.</p><p>“Are you really? I realised I never asked where you were staying and you never said how your assignment was going.”</p><p>“Dun hyu vorry about uz, Miztress, ve ken be taking care ov ourselves,” Maxim said quickly, in a way that wasn’t convincing at all.</p><p>“Vot about hyu, Miz Agatha?” Oggie asked, moving forward with a bounce in his step to examine Agatha more closely. “No trippink today?”</p><p>“Ah, no.” Agatha could feel herself going a little pink, but she didn’t think Oggie said it to embarrass her. “I’m trying to be more careful, thank you.”</p><p>“Und hyu head?”</p><p>“Oh—” Agatha was cut off by Maxim smacking Ognian.</p><p>“Hoy!” Oggie protested, holding his head defensively. “Vot vas dat for?”</p><p>“Hyu iz beink <em>rude</em>, eediot!” Maxim scolded.</p><p>“Hy em beink polite! Esking how she iz beink!”</p><p>“Iz <em>rude</em>!”</p><p>“Iz <em>not</em>!”</p><p>“Um!” They both stopped and turned back to Agatha as she spoke. “It’s really okay, I don’t mind! My head doesn’t hurt today.”</p><p>“Hy told hyu,” Oggie said smugly before grinning happily at Agatha again. “Und dot’s goot!”</p><p>“Yes, it only hurts when I, um, have to think too hard or get worked up over something.” Which just sounded like she was stupid, but it was difficult to explain exactly what caused Agatha’s headaches. It varied and sometimes it felt like anything interesting at all could cause one.</p><p>“Ho, dot ken be tricky,” Oggie said understandingly. Which was nice, even if Agatha wasn’t sure he actually did understand.</p><p>“Haff hyu tried hummink?” Maxim suggested. For some reason, this made Oggie elbow him hard in the ribs. “Vot?! It might help!”</p><p>“Humming might?” Agatha blinked confusedly. She took a few seconds to think about it while Oggie stamped on Maxim’s boot with his oversized feet a few times. “I... No, I haven’t really had much luck with that. Music does help sometimes though, you’re right. A little, anyway.”</p><p>“Hah! Hy told hyu!” Maxim crowed happily, shoving Oggie away from him. “Hyu are musical den, Miz Agatha?”</p><p>“Lilith— my foster mother— teaches piano, so I play that. I enjoy it.” At least it was easier to focus on than other subjects, even if it was difficult to get too passionate about it. Much to Professor Porombescu’s disappointment.</p><p>“Dis hyu momma who dun like hyu valking out mit Jägerkin?” Ognian asked with a smirk. Something in Agatha’s expression must have been very telling because his smile quickly dropped. “Ho, really dun like eet!”</p><p>“It’s not that,” Agatha quickly assured them. “I mean— well, technically she doesn’t know. That I’ve been speaking to you. At all. She probably wouldn’t like it if she did.”</p><p>“Vell, dat iz fair,” Oggie said reasonably. “Ve iz scary Jägermonsters, after all. Lotsa mommas don’t like dat.”</p><p>“But you’re not!” Agatha protested. “Not scary, I mean. Not really.”</p><p>“Ve iz <em>supposed</em> to be scary, Miztress.” Oggie said, exchanging an amused glance with Maxim.</p><p>“Hyu vant me to go und tok to her, Miz Agatha?” Maxim suggested, adjusting his hat and preening a little. “Hy em verra goot at charmink de mommas! Dey <em>luff</em> me!”</p><p>“Hoy, no fair! Hy vanna tok to Miz Agatha’s momma!” Oggie complained. “Vhy hyu gets to do eet?”</p><p>“Because eet vas my hydea!”</p><p>“Eet should be me, Hy em more mature und haff a horn!”</p><p>“Vot— I mean, what does the horn have to do with it?” Agatha asked, feeling rather lost all of a sudden. Oggie gave her a knowing look.</p><p>“Hyu iz still young in de vays of de vorld, Miz Agatha. De ladies <em>luffs</em> de horn! Especially de mommas!”</p><p>“They... do?” Maybe Lilith had a point about young ladies not talking to Jägerkin, Agatha thought. She certainly didn’t think she wanted to understand this.</p><p>Just then, a monster dropped down from the rooftops and banged Maxim and Oggie’s heads together, making Agatha jump.</p><p>“Dimo!”</p><p>“Hyu eediots!” Dimo scolded, holding onto both of them by the backs of their heads. “Eef she finds out how moch de mommas like de Jägerkin, ve <em>neffer</em> get invited over!”</p><p>“Ooh!” Maxim and Oggie responded together, nodding in understanding. They then turned to Agatha with identical innocent expressions. Agatha stared back, mind still struggling to catch up with the last several seconds. Finally, the mental image of her mother faced with three Jagers attempting to charm her overwhelmed her and she slapped a hand over her mouth to mask her smile.</p><p>“I think Lilith would beat you black and blue.”</p><p>“Hy believe dot,” Dimo said, amused.</p><p>“Ve ken dare to dream,” Oggie said wistfully.</p><p>“Blue dun really show op on me so goot,” Maxim said, examining his purple hand thoughtfully. That actually made sense and made Agatha wonder how different hues of skin responded to different conditions. The examples in class were almost always pale-skinned and human but— and there came the warning pang of a headache again. Agatha forced the thought from her mind.</p><p>“Hy tink Hy saw hyu momma on de street chust now, Miz Agatha,” Dimo said, distracting her.</p><p>“Oh no, she’s not still following me, is she?”</p><p>“No, she vent beck to hyu home. Hy vas chust tinking dot she reminded me ov sumvun.”</p><p>“Hm? Is that so?” Agatha smiled blandly at Dimo, a wary feeling springing up inside. The Clays were respected and well-known members of the Beetleburg community— but Agatha knew they were still always on guard against people who were too curious for their taste. Even if they did pass for human, the people that relied on Adam and Lilith’s help also relied on going unnoticed and not attracting attention.</p><p>“Hyu know ov Punch und Judy, yez?”</p><p>It was comforting that Maxim and Oggie were looking at Dimo with as much confusion as Agatha.</p><p>“Um, yes, of course I have. Only from the stories, of course, but—” It clicked in Agatha’s mind and her hand went to her forehead. “Oh, I see what you mean.”</p><p>“Hyu do?” Dimo asked, watching her intently. Waiting for her. He had definitely noticed.</p><p>“Yes.” Lilith and Adam would not be reassured by this but... Well, <em>Jägerkin</em> were hardly going to be prejudiced against constructs, were they? It was no different than telling their other guests. “You’re right, she’s a construct. My father too; they’re both patchworks.”</p><p>“Like Meester Punch and Miztress Judy,” Dimo said, nodding. He was still staring at her as if he was looking for something.</p><p>“Right— though, for the record, I don’t think they’d appreciate the comparison.” Agatha had learnt <em>that</em> lesson very young. “Um, they try to keep it quiet, by the way. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what people can be like about constructs.”</p><p>All three of them nodded, though Maxim and Oggie both still seemed a little befuddled. Oggie tilted his head to the side thoughtfully.</p><p>“Vhy dun dey like beink compared to Meester Ponch and Miztress Judy?”</p><p>“They’re not really fans—” Agatha paused as the Jägers looked affronted. Oh, they had probably known the real Punch and Judy, hadn’t they? They might have even been friends. “Not personally, of course! Just... Well, you must have seen the plays, you know how they...” Agatha trailed off, not sure how to properly explain the insulting portrayal of constructs in popular media succinctly. Luckily, Dimo, Maxim and Oggie all immediately looked understanding.</p><p>“Hyu mean dey make dem look schtupid und dumb,” Maxim continued with a snarl. “It meks me so mad vhen dey do dat! Chust because Meester Punch vas so beeg und couldn’t tok!”</p><p>“Pipple mostly tink dot about all constructs,” Oggie said in a much more easy-going tone. Maxim actually looked angry enough to make Agatha nervous, even knowing it wasn’t directed at her. “Meester Ponch alvays vorried about dot schtuff, he vould haff hated eet.”</p><p>“... You mean the stories aren’t accurate?” Agatha asked, curious. She’d never heard a first-hand account of the characters before.</p><p>“No vay!” Maxim insisted. “Dey gots him all wrong! Meester Ponch vas verra strong und schmott! Alvays vit de plenz!”</p><p>“He was?”</p><p>“Und he vas a real gentleman too! Alvays vit de dignity und de goot manners. But he still vas kind to efferyvun!”</p><p>“He saved my life vunce!” Oggie added cheerfully. “Und Miztress Judy vas nize too, effen vhen she vas beink scary.”</p><p>“Ho, yez, effryvun leestened vhen Miztress Judy told dem to do sumting.”</p><p>“Und she used to tell uz stories vheneffer dey kem home from an adventure! Vas alvays lots ov fun!”</p><p>“Really? Oh, that makes it even worse that they’re written that way...” But maybe it would make Adam and Lilith happy to know the real Punch and Judy had been clever and kind heroes, even if people remembered them differently. It might make them feel better about the physical similarities, at least. “... Wait, Punch couldn’t talk either?”</p><p>“Ho, yez, de masters put his throat togedder backvards or someting—”</p><p>“Miz Agatha, don’t hyu haff class today??” Dimo cut Oggie off.</p><p>“No, but— oh, I’m meant to be in the lab!” She hadn’t been running late but she was probably cutting it close now. She had gotten so distracted by the Jagers that she had forgotten the <em>other</em> reason she didn’t want to stay home today! “Thank you for reminding me. I’d better run! It was nice talking to you all!”</p><p>“Hyu too, Miz Agatha! Haff a goot day!” Oggie said cheerfully, waving as she darted around them to run back the way she’d come to the main street. Maxim and Dimo tipped their hats to her as she went by. She stumbled a little as she turned the corner, but didn’t let it slow her down as she fled towards the university. Once she was out of earshot, Oggie turned to Dimo. “Hokay, vot vas dat about?”</p><p>Dimo waited a few more seconds just to be safe before responding. “Hy tink Miz Agatha’s momma is Judy.”</p><p>“<em>Vot?!</em>” Maxim and Oggie’s jaws both dropped.</p><p>“Hy chust saw her, defeenitly lookink like her,” Dimo said. “Hy chust vasn’t sure if Miz Agatha knew alzo.”</p><p>“Hy thought she vas <em>dead</em>!” Maxim exclaimed, shocked. “Vot about Meester Ponch?”</p><p>“Probably her poppa, Hy em tinking.”</p><p>“Bot...” Oggie paused, staring in the direction Agatha had left in. “Eet didn’t sound like Miz Agatha knew him et all. Eeder ov dem.”</p><p>“Dots vot gots me confused,” Dimo admitted. “Hy do not tink Miz Agatha iz goot at de lyink but vhy hide eet from her?”</p><p>“Could be PRT, mebbe,” Maxim suggested. Post-Revivification Trauma was commonly known to cause amnesia to various degrees and constructs tended to be intimately familiar with it. Often the easiest way for a Spark to make improvements was to give their subject a hard reset. Especially if the said subject was feeling reluctant about the procedure. “Mebbe effen Miztress Judy doezn’t know.”</p><p>“Fonny coincidence dat dey vent und found a new Heterodyne to adopt den,” Oggie said.</p><p>“See, dis iz vot Hy em meanink vhen Hy say ve are missink someting!” Dimo complained, throwing his hand up in frustration. “Someting iz goink on!”</p><p>“Vell, ve already knew she vas a Heterodyne,” Oggie said reasonably. “Dey alvays haff <em>someting</em> krezy happenink.”</p><p>Maxim and Dimo nodded. That, at least, could always be relied on.</p><p> </p><p>———</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, Mademoiselle Clay!” Doctor Glassvitch greeted Agatha as she hurried into the laboratory. “Right on time!”</p><p>“Am I really? Oh, I was so worried I was going to be late again.”</p><p>“Maybe you wouldn’t have to worry if you planned your schedule properly like the rest of us,” Doctor Merlot said snidely. “Don’t expect any accolades for doing the bare minimum, Miss Clay!”</p><p>“I- I won’t, sir,” Agatha replied, barely biting her tongue in time. Snapping at Merlot wouldn’t help, she reminded herself, it would only go badly. “I’ll just start organising the platform, shall I?”</p><p>“If you think you can handle that.”</p><p>“Doctor Merlot, really—”</p><p>“It’s fine, sir,” Agatha assured Glassvitch. It was easier to deal with Merlot while she was already in a good mood, at least. It had been a good morning so far. “We should try to prepare everything before the Master—”</p><p>“<em>MISS CLAY!</em>”</p><p>“I was <em>just</em>—” Agatha spun around to yell at Merlot, only to see him staring over her shoulder looking shocked. When she turned around, she saw Doctor Beetle rushing towards her and realised he was the one who had yelled. “Oh, good morning, Doctor Beetle.”</p><p>“Miss Clay, are you all right? I only just heard!” Beetle was obviously agitated, looking her up and down, examining her for something and pausing to stare intently at her throat for a moment before looking her in the eye again. “I can’t believe this, in my own city! Klaus has really gone too far this time!”</p><p>“What? Heard what?” Agatha leaned away from him, frazzled. “Master, what’s wrong?”</p><p>“<em>Jägermonsters</em>! I heard one was harassing you at the gate yesterday!”</p><p>Merlot dropped the spanner he had been holding and Glassvitch gasped. Agatha froze up. Oh. Well, she had known the gossip would reach people eventually, but she had hoped she had more time and also that people wouldn’t actually care that much.</p><p>“He wasn’t harassing me, Master! Maxim only wanted to walk me home from class.”</p><p>“Tell me you didn’t <em>let</em> him!” Beetle blanched. “Miss Clay, this is what my clanks are for! To chase away undesirables like that!”</p><p>“I didn’t want him chased away!” Agatha insisted, feeling anger swell up in her chest. Maxim hadn’t done anything to deserve being spoken about like this. “He was very gentlemanly!”</p><p>“Oh, so <em>that’s</em> how it is,” Merlot muttered, only to be quickly shushed by Glassvitch.</p><p>“Miss Clay, they’re called Jäger<em>monsters</em> for a reason! A young lady such as yourself shouldn’t be anywhere near them!” Beetle scolded. “Don’t worry, I’ll arrange something before you head home. And I’ll certainly be having words with Wulfenbach about him sending soldiers into my city without warning!”</p><p>“Doctor Beetle, please calm down! It was fine, they’re all very nice— and they don’t work for Baron Wulfenbach so you certainly shouldn’t complain to him!” Agatha wasn’t sure why or how Dimo, Oggie and Maxim weren’t with the rest of the Jägerkin working for the Baron, but if they <em>were</em> supposed to be with them... Well, she didn’t want to be the reason they got discovered. “You really don’t have to worry about them though, I swear!”</p><p>Beetle peered at her suspiciously. “They don’t work for the Empire? You’re sure?”</p><p>Agatha nodded. “That’s what they told me. And I think they were telling the truth; there’s only the three of them and they look... Well, not like they’ve been employed recently, you know.”</p><p>“<em>Wild</em> Jägers then,” Beetle muttered. “I don’t know if that’s better or worse.”</p><p>“Worse, certainly, Master!” Merlot said, sounding shocked.</p><p>“They’re <em>nice</em>,” Agatha insisted, really starting to get annoyed. There was a sharp pain in her head in response. “Ow- They’ve only been polite to me.”</p><p>“At least if they’re wild there won’t be any trouble once we throw them out...” Beetle continued to mutter, apparently not listening to her. “I may have to send the Clockwork Army after them. The watchmen clanks, at least...”</p><p>“What?!” Agatha yelped in shock and then in pain as her headache doubled. She took a moment to breathe, gripping her head, before continuing. This was <em>important</em>. “Master, you can’t! They haven’t done anything wrong!”</p><p>“<em>Trust</em> me, Miss Clay, they’ve done plenty wrong,” Beetle said sternly. “Now, I don’t want you speaking to them again. Don’t even go near them!”</p><p>“But, Master, I’m worried about them!” Agatha protested. “They’ve just been wandering around and something is troubling them, I know it, and Maxim didn’t have any <em>shoes</em> at first and— and— I don’t even think they have anywhere to <em>stay</em>—”</p><p>“And the last thing we want is them staying <em>here</em>,” Beetle said with finality. “Miss Clay, you will not approach those creatures again, do you understand? If they come near you, just run!”</p><p>“Doctor Beetle, please—”</p><p>“<em>That is an order, Miss Clay!</em>” Beetle roared, Spark so evident in his voice that Agatha flinched. After a moment, she meekly nodded.</p><p>“Yes, Master.”</p><p>“Good.” Beetle nodded. “Now, I’m going to take care of this. You three... continue working on your own projects for the time being.”</p><p>“Yes, Master.” This time, Agatha joined a chorus with Glassvitch and Merlot as they responded. Beetle nodded one final time before turning and walking out of the laboratory. No one moved until they heard the door shut behind him.</p><p>“Really, Miss Clay.” Merlot was the first to break the silence. “Jägermonsters? Don’t you have enough troubles?”</p><p>“They really were—” well, not very nice, actually, but— “very friendly.”</p><p>“Mm, yes, we’ve all heard the stories.”</p><p>“Silas,” Glassvitch scolded him with a look.</p><p>“They were telling me about Punch and Judy,” Agatha said, reminded by the mention of stories. “They knew them personally! Did you know—”</p><p>“Miss Clay, if you are so fascinated by constructs, might I recommend moving to the Organic Oddities lab?” Merlot asked contemptuously. Agatha glared at him, loath to make her headache any worse by arguing with him further, and Merlot retreated to his desk.</p><p>“You should listen to the Master, Mademoiselle,” Glassvitch said softly. “Jägers are dangerous. They’re not like normal constructs.”</p><p>“It’s just...” Agatha slumped. “I think I’m worried about them? And it’s not fair to throw them out of town when they haven’t done anything wrong.”</p><p>“Put it out of your mind, Mademoiselle Clay,” Doctor Glassvitch said sympathetically. “You don’t want to be involved with monsters like that anyway.”</p><p>“But—” Agatha faltered, not sure how to express what she was feeling. “What if they need help? Don’t we have a responsibility to help them if they need it?”</p><p>Talking to the Jägers hadn’t given her a headache, but arguing about them with people certainly did. Why should they be punished, just for existing? Why was she the only one who could understand? She had always been taught that if she was in a position to offer help, she should. That it was her duty to, because everyone needed help sometimes. She had definitely been taught that mistreating people for how they had been made was wrong. Why should Jägers be any different?</p><p>“Jägermonsters aren’t our responsibility, Miss Clay,” Glassvitch said firmly. “And they’re <em>certainly</em> not yours.”</p><p>With that said, he returned to his work and left Agatha seething impotently. The throbbing in her head became almost rhythmic as she fumed. It wasn’t <em>right</em>.</p><p>“Well... Maybe they are now,” Agatha said quietly to herself.</p><p>No one else heard her, but it still needed to be said.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Agatha: I’ve had these Jägers for a day and a half, but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this town and then myself.<br/>Dimo: Vell, hokay, don’t do dot last vun. Ve ken get hyu more Jägers.<br/>Agatha: I said what I said.</p><p> </p><p>I kind of struggled with this chapter; it’s actually been split into two! I wrote a lot of the next couple of chapters before I wrote this and then had to struggle through the connecting scenes... So many POV shifts... But we’re almost there! The juicy stuff is coming up soon!</p><p>Edit: I forgot the quote at the start!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Miztress</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>Dear Clay Family,</em><br/><em>Arrived safe in MBurg! Town is much changed since last visit.</em><br/><em>Not suited to business but people seem happy enough. Tacky new sculptures.</em><br/><em>Gingerbread remains as I remember it, so that was nice. Made me think of </em><br/><em>Little A. Who I miss very very much and who had better be minding her</em><br/><em>parents and studying hard!</em><br/><em>Moving on soon, will write from next location.</em><br/><em>Regards, B.”</em><br/> <br/>— Postcard mailed to Clay Mechanical, Forge Street, Beetleburg from Mechanicsburg, 1881. Illustration on the opposite side depicts the Doom Bell and the statue Octavo, the latter swinging a hammer with a jovial grin.<br/> <br/> <br/>———<br/> <br/>The rest of the day was difficult, even by Agatha’s standards. She could hardly run out of the laboratory to find Dimo, Maxim and Ognian. Not when Merlot and Glassvitch had heard Beetle forbid her and kept shooting her suspicious and concerned looks. All she could do was putter about the lab. Normally any chance to work on her own inventions would have been a boon, but right now she could hardly focus. Not even on her cheese clock (the logical step forward after her minor success with a butter clock) could hold her attention. Even though working on it in the university labs meant she had the chance to sneak looks at Merlot’s notes on the sulfide charge of goat cheese versus cheddar.<br/> <br/>The problem, Agatha reflected as she connected two wires and flinched at a zap of static electricity, was concentration. If she concentrated too hard on her work, she got a headache. Previous experience showed that she needed to go slowly, take breaks and stay calm while she worked, no matter how exciting electrical circuits might be. But this meant her mind was free to wander and she became distracted by the thought of her Jägers being thrown out of town by the Tyrant’s clanks. Worse, they would likely fight back, which meant they could very well be blown to pieces by the Clockwork Army’s impressive firepower. Not the <em>most</em> impressive, of course. The watchmen clanks hadn’t been updated since before Agatha was born. There were more experimental death rays being developed in the Spark labs everyday, even by Beetle himself, but he always insisted it was unnecessary to adapt them to the town defences. Agatha sometimes thought that if they just adjusted—<br/> <br/>“<em>Ow!</em>”<br/> <br/>“Miss Clay, if you cannot work silently then I’ll take my notes back!”<br/> <br/>“I will, Doctor, I’m sorry!” Agatha apologised, holding her head in her hands. She was usually better at controlling her thought processes than this. The past few days had thrown her completely off balance, as if she was five years old and collapsing at the first flash of pain in her skull again. Normally she had systems in place to help her navigate dangerous trains of thought. Of course, systems could always be improved. If she broke down her problems into smaller issues to examine, in a relaxing environment, went over them separately, possibly utilising Doctor Csipkeszeg’s orchestral rendition of blue whale—<br/> <br/>Agatha hissed sharply and doubled over at her desk, trying to stay as quiet as possible as someone hammered a chisel between the plates of her cranium. Had she really just given herself a headache by thinking about her headaches? How pathetic! Agatha took a deep breath and let it go slowly. Just focus on breathing. Clear your mind. Eat a piece of cheese. Calm down. It took a minute, but eventually the pain did fade to a manageable level. Her headaches, her clock and even the town defences weren’t her primary concerns today. There were more important things to worry about. Doctor Beetle was being completely unreasonable and Dimo and the others didn’t even know they were in danger. Well, maybe they could assume. They probably knew how people felt about Jägermonsters. But it still wasn’t fair.<br/> <br/>What she <em>really</em> needed to do was access the Clockwork Army’s <em>artificial intelligence units</em> and teach them to— “<em><b>Oow!</b></em>”<br/> <br/>“Miss Clay!”<br/> <br/>“Sorry, Doctor Merlot...”<br/> <br/>“Mademoiselle, I think I’ve lost count of how many attacks you’ve had today,” Glassvitch observed. “Are you sure you’re well?”<br/> <br/>“... Maybe I’m not,” Agatha admitted. She wasn’t sick, she was sure of that, but it was so hard to calm her mind today. She had so many things to think about, so many plans that needed to be made and so many of them were urgent. It was impossible to avoid getting worked up like this. Even the meditative nature of cheese clocks couldn’t put her mind at ease. “I think... Perhaps I should go home early?”<br/> <br/>“That’s a good idea,” Glassvitch agreed. “We’re not far from the end of the day anyway. Why don’t I call someone to escort you—”<br/> <br/>“No!” Glassvitch jumped at Agatha’s sudden volume and she forced herself to smile gently at him. “No, please don’t go to the trouble! I can just walk by myself, it isn’t far.”<br/> <br/>“Mademoiselle, the master was very clear...”<br/> <br/>“Yes, but I’ll be safe in the forge with my parents. And nothing could happen to me if I stay on the main streets.”<br/> <br/>“With Jägermonsters wandering about, I’m not sure you’re safe anywhere, Miss Clay,” Merlot interrupted. He could almost sound concerned, if he weren’t so snide. “Do you really believe a few shopkeepers will ward off creatures like that? They’re worse than wild animals!”<br/> <br/>“”Well, maybe we’ll both get lucky and they’ll abduct me!” Agatha snapped. The nerve of him, talking like that about people he had never even met! “Then at least I’ll never have to be in your class again!”<br/> <br/>It took her a moment to realise Merlot and Glassvitch were both staring at her in shock. It took another moment for her to realise why. Shouting at her teachers was not something Agatha Clay was known for and the pain in her head was a reminder as to why. Agatha winced and looked down meekly.<br/> <br/>“I’m sorry, Doctors...”<br/> <br/>“Perhaps you had best run home, Miss Clay,” Merlot said, tense and looking like he was resisting the urge to explode. He did not tolerate backtalk lightly and Agatha knew escape was her best option.<br/> <br/>“I’m going! If Doctor Beetle asks, I’m perfectly safe!” Before they could give any further protest, Agatha rushed to grab her coat and run out the door. “Enjoy the rest of your afternoon!”<br/> <br/>“Be <em>careful</em>, Agatha!” Doctor Glassvitch called after her before turning back to his colleague. “Really, Silas, do you have to —”<br/> <br/>“Have to what?” Merlot grumbled back. “I didn’t even say anything to her this time. Why she’s so worked up about a pack of monsters, I have no idea.”<br/> <br/>“I suppose we were all young and idealistic once...”<br/> <br/>“You’d think the naivety would have worn off that one by now though.”<br/> <br/> <br/>———<br/> <br/> <br/>“She just took off! Ran right past me as if she didn’t hear me!” Lilith ranted, pacing back and forth. “I swear she did it on purpose, but I can’t think why.”<br/> <br/>Adam grunted neutrally while he worked on the automated welding machine someone had brought in that morning. Worrying about his daughter while listening to Lilith with one ear, he wasn’t making much progress. This was the third time he had taken these hinges off and reattached them, Adam realised with embarrassment. Maybe he should pay more attention. Carelessness in the forge rarely ended well.<br/> <br/>“Adam? Adam, are you listening?” Lilith waited for her husband to nod, which took a few seconds, before resuming her pacing. “She’s never ignored me like that before. Not on purpose anyway— remember the incident with the neighbour boy and the unicycle? I had to shout her name three times before she heard me and when she did, all she wanted to talk about was gear treads until... until...”<br/> <br/>Lilith trailed off contritely and Adam grunted again. Until young Agatha had gotten a headache and needed to lie down. Adam and Lilith had felt so guilty about it all that they had gone out and bought her a tricycle the next morning. The look on the little girl’s face had been worth the cost and Adam still fondly remembered helping her disassemble and reassemble it over and over again. It had taken Agatha a week to realise she was supposed to <em>ride</em> the tricycle and just one more day to decide that crashing into walls wasn’t much less painful than her headaches.<br/> <br/>Lost in memories, Adam took a moment to realise Lilith had stopped pacing and was peeking out the forge door, grumbling to herself.<br/> <br/>“Oh, yes, Tarsus, very inconspicuous.” Lilith tsked while looking out at the patrolling clanks making a scene on the street. One was walking slowly down Forge Street, disturbing traffic, while another stood at the corner patiently interrogating Herr Kievzer and stopping him from entering his own shop. People were clearly frustrated, though not enough to complain too loudly. “I swear, if this keeps up, Agatha won’t have time to make the Jägers suspicious; the rest of us will have tipped them off already!”<br/> <br/>Adam gave up on his work— he had taken the hinges off again while distracted by memories— and stood to go stand behind his wife. He placed his large hands on her shoulders and squeezed reassuringly. Lilith reached back with one hand to pat his, still watching the street with concern. Adam squeezed again.<br/> <br/>“You think I’m being silly, don’t you?” Lilith said quietly. When she glanced over her shoulder at him, Adam shook his head emphatically. “... Even though I’m worrying over nothing?” Adam hesitated before shaking his head again. He looked past Lilith at the street with a concerned expression of his own. “... I’m sure she’s fine,” Lilith said firmly. Adam nodded, but they both kept looking outside anxiously.<br/> <br/>Finally, Lilith huffed. “But that girl really needs to learn to mind her mother. Why don’t we go talk to her?”<br/> <br/>Adam smiled and went to fetch their coats. That sounded more like it.<br/> <br/> <br/>———<br/> <br/> <br/>The streets were full of patrolling clanks. Not uncommon for Beetleburg, so much so that it took Agatha several minutes to notice how many more than usual there were. Out-of-towners were obvious in their gawking and pointing, many delighted by what was to them a tourist attraction. Locals watched them more carefully, making sure not to move too quickly or step into their line of sight. The watchmen clanks would never hurt a law-abiding citizen, of course, they were designed to protect. But every Beetleburg native had, at one point or another, seen what they did to people who <em>didn’t</em> abide the law. Agatha had to admit it, the clanks definitely needed maintenance and upgrading, but a large death ray mounted to several tons of metal was a large death ray mounted to several tons of metal. That was hard to argue against.<br/> <br/>Agatha’s favourite bookstore was closing it’s shutters early, the owner muttering something about “bad business” as she walked past. A group of children were whispering excitedly to each other, sounding like they were trying to dare each other into approaching the nearest clank, before a woman grabbed all four of them by their collars and dragged them away. Agatha didn’t pay them too much attention, they weren’t what she was looking for. Instead, she looked up at the rooftops, down dark gaps between buildings, behind abandoned crates as she slowly made her way down the street. This wouldn’t have been a particularly safe way to walk on a normal day, but today—<br/> <br/>“IDENTIFY YOURSELF.”<br/> <br/>Agatha jumped as she realised she had almost bumped into the watchman clank patrolling the street. She froze in place as she stared up at it’s unreadable, mechanical face, briefly despairing at herself. How had she not noticed how close she was to it? Well, this was fine, she knew how to handle this, this happened all the time—<br/> <br/>“IDENTIFY YOURSELF.”<br/> <br/>“Um, Agatha Clay!”<br/> <br/>“IDENTIFY YOURSELF.”<br/> <br/>“Ag-ah-tha <em>Clay</em>! Student 8734195!”<br/> <br/>“STATE YOUR PURPOSE.”<br/> <br/>“I’m walking home!”<br/> <br/>“STATE YOUR PURPOSE.”<br/> <br/>Oh, no. Agatha glanced around the street for help, but the few others nearby were as frozen in place as she was. They all looked like they were waiting for someone else to do something.<br/> <br/>“<em>Going home!</em>” Agatha tried again, enunciating as clearly as she could.<br/> <br/>“IDENTIFY YOURSELF.”<br/> <br/>“Oh, come on!”<br/> <br/>“FAILURE TO IDENTIFY.”<br/> <br/>“No, wait! I’m Agatha Clay!”<br/> <br/>“PLEASE SURRENDER INTO CUSTODY IMMEDIATELY.” There was a whirring noise from within the clank as hinges on it’s shoulders began to open up. One caught and began to groan as the compartment failed to open, but on the other shoulder a firearm smoothly moved into place.<br/> <br/>“Stop! Um, Tyrant override 133—”<br/> <br/>“FAILURE TO SURRENDER.” The firearm began to glow slightly, pointed directly at Agatha’s torso. Preparing to fire. Agatha started to scream but was cut off by a bellow.<br/> <br/>“<em>HALLOOOO!</em>”<br/> <br/>As clank spun around towards the new sound Agatha suddenly felt herself being knocked to the side, swept up into something warm and... flying? She barely had a chance to register green cloth, large hands, <em>claws,</em> before Dimo landed with a thud on the bookstore’s roof, tiles scattering away from him. Cradled in his arms, still in shock, was Agatha.<br/> <br/>“Hoo, boy, dot voz a cloze vun!”<br/> <br/>Agatha didn’t have a chance to respond before she heard an explosion from the street behind her. She scrambled to grab purchase on Dimo’s coat as she looked over his shoulder at the scene unfolding below them.<br/> <br/>“Hallo, Meester Clenk!” Oggie was saying cheerfully, dancing about in front of the watchclank. He didn’t seem phased by the scorch mark in the pavement next to him. “Vot hyu up too now, hey?”<br/> <br/>The clank fired, directly at Ognian, and Agatha almost screamed again, but before she had time Oggie was leaping up and over the clank’s head. He landed easily on the street behind it.<br/> <br/>“Hy tink he iz picking on nize gurlz dot are chust mindink der own bizeenez,” Maxim said, standing casually where Agatha was certain he hadn’t been previously— right next to the clank’s leg. The machine had been in the process of turning around to catch Oggie when Maxim held out his arm, briefly caught it’s leg and knocked it completely off balance.<br/> <br/>“Ho, vell, ve kent haff dat!” Oggie exclaimed in delight. Where there had been a distinct lack of halberd previously, there was now a halberd in his hand. “Time for naughty clenks to say gootnight!”<br/> <br/>“Wait!” Agatha was nearly climbing over Dimo’s shoulder now, as he scrambled to keep his grip on her and back away from the edge of the roof so the clank wouldn’t catch sight of her again. “Don’t destroy it!”<br/> <br/>“Miz Agatha, eet voz goink to shoot hyu!” Dimo hissed at her. Agatha shook her head. If this clank was attacked, it would send off an alarm to every other piece of the Clockwork Army and put them on high alert. The transmitter wasn’t very sensitive or reliable, but an axe from a Jäger was the kind of thing that Agatha thought it would notice. Then every clank in the city would be after them.<br/> <br/>“There’s a spot below the back of the neck! Hit <em>that</em>!”<br/> <br/>“Iz armoured!” Maxim yelled back, dodging the clank’s grasp easily as it reached for him.<br/> <br/>“Hit it <em>hard</em>!”<br/> <br/>“Hyu herd de Lady, Maxim!” Oggie said, still smiling. He danced back from the clank, waving his halberd above his head. “Hoy, Meester Clenk, over here!”<br/> <br/>The clank turned towards Oggie and took one wobbly step towards him— freeing Maxim to leap onto its back. He grabbed the hilt of his sword and hammered it against the spot Agatha had pointed out once, twice, three times, before there was an audible crunch accompanying the ding of metal. The clank froze, wobbled, and then tried to reach behind itself. Maxim dropped down out of reach smoothly. Flailing, the clank lost it’s balance again, spun around once, and tumbled to the pavement.<br/> <br/>“I... REQUIRE... MAINTENANCE.”<br/> <br/>“Mebbe vhen hyu learn zum manners,” Oggie scolded it. Next to him, Maxim adjusted his hat and preened triumphantly. There was a smattering of confused applause from the onlookers and both Jägers gave a bow. Agatha slumped in Dimo’s arms and rested her head against his shoulder, suddenly exhausted. Thank goodness for Doctor Beetle’s clearly labeled blueprints and for that long afternoon Agatha had spent copying them for the archives. Now the transmitter was destroyed, they didn’t have to worry about being swarmed.<br/> <br/>“You know,” she muttered, slightly muffled. “I was really worried about you guys. I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”<br/> <br/>One arm wrapped around Agatha’s shoulders, the other under her legs, Dimo gave her a squeeze. “Dot’s fair. Ve haff been lookink for hyu too.”<br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/>Dimo took her across rooftops, not once stopping to let her feet touch the tiles, and Agatha got a first hand look at how the Jägers must have been travelling around town the last few days. Dimo moved with surprising silence, once Agatha learnt to muffle her squeals whenever they made a sudden leap or drop. His hold on Agatha was firm and kept her steady, nestled safely against his chest, no matter how abrupt a turn or leap he made and Agatha realised that she felt completely secure. No one on the street, including the patrolling clanks, seemed to notice them. Mr. Tock would have seen them, Agatha knew, but he was still stationed at the university. The smaller clanks apparently had no way of looking that high. Definitely a security risk, albeit one that benefited them right now.<br/> <br/>Before too long they ran out of rooftops and Dimo landed with a thud on soft dirt. They were back in the cemetery, quiet as a tomb. He looked around warily, not relaxing his grip on Agatha, before letting out a breath.<br/> <br/>“Dot should do eet.”<br/> <br/>“Dot voz <em>fon</em>!” Oggie said, much louder, bounding towards them. Agatha jumped a little; she hadn’t noticed him following them.<br/> <br/>“Eh, voz <em>eazy</em>,” Maxim complained, strolling towards the group. “Hy vanna fight de beeg vun!”<br/> <br/>“Beink eazy deedn’t shtop hyu from showink off,” Dimo pointed out. Agatha wondered if he had forgotten she was still in his arms.<br/> <br/>“Miz Agatha deedn’t vant uz chust smashink eet op,” Oggie said, defending himself and Maxim. He smiled brightly at Agatha. “Don’t vorry, Miztress, iz only a <em>leedle</em> more broken den before!”<br/> <br/>“That’s... good,” Agatha said slowly, shifting in place. Dimo’s grip on her tightened. “Doctor Beetle might not be so angry then. Um, Dimo?”<br/> <br/>“Yez, Miz Agatha?”<br/> <br/>“You probably don’t need to carry me anymore.”<br/> <br/>“Ho, right, ov course!” Dimo gently lowered Agatha, seeming reluctant to let her go. She got to her feet and straightened her skirts.<br/> <br/>“Thank you, by the way. You saved me there.” She smiled at all three of them and they snapped to attention. “Usually when that happens they just get stuck in a feedback loop, I’ve never had them actually try to <em>fire</em> at me.”<br/> <br/>“Den hyu voz locky dot ve voz passink by!” Oggie said happily, chest puffed out with pride.<br/> <br/>“I really was.” It was somewhat ironic that after all of Beetle’s worrying, the only real danger to Agatha had been his own security measures. Meanwhile, the monsters he was so afraid of had done a far better job of protecting her. “... But you should all be more careful as well.”<br/> <br/>“Dey lookink for uz?” Maxim guessed, looking amused. Agatha nodded and stepped back to lean against a nearby tombstone.<br/> <br/>“Doctor Beetle has heard you’re in town and is getting all worked up about it.”<br/> <br/>“Ho, dot guy?” Dimo grinned. “Ve scared him, huh?”<br/> <br/>“Yes, you did. He even forbade me to go near any of you.”<br/> <br/>Maxim blinked. “... Hyu iz not allowed near uz?”<br/> <br/>“No, I-” Agatha hesitated. “... Okay, yes, I promised I would avoid you and went looking for you anyway. But as long as he doesn’t find out, it’s fine, right?”<br/> <br/>“Ho, yez,” Oggie assured her. “Iz fine! Ve von’t tell on hyu, Miz Agatha!”<br/> <br/>“Thank you, Oggie.” All three Jägers were grinning at her and Agatha could feel herself starting to blush and looked away. “Anyway, he only made me promise because he wants me to stay safe. If he had all the facts, he wouldn’t worry at all.”<br/> <br/>“Und vot facts are dose?” Dimo asked with a raised eyebrow.<br/> <br/>“Well, for one, that I’m perfectly safe with you.” It took Agatha several seconds to realise the cemetery was completely silent. She looked up and couldn’t read the expressions on their faces, not even Oggie’s. “... Well, aren’t I?”<br/> <br/>“... Ov course hyu are, Miz Agatha,” Oggie replied, slightly hoarse. Agatha nodded firmly.<br/> <br/>“Exactly, so I’m following the <em>spirit</em> of Doctor Beetle’s instruction, which is to stay safe.” And really, she loved and respected Doctor Beetle, but she was a grown woman now. She could decide on the company she kept on her own. “Really, you just proved that I’m <em>safer</em> with you than on my own.”<br/> <br/>They had leapt to her rescue without needing to be asked, at— well, not at <em>great</em> risk to themselves. They clearly could handle the watchclanks if they needed to. But they could have stayed hidden and avoided the trouble entirely. Instead they had quickly and efficiently saved Agatha’s life and were yet to ask anything in return.<br/> <br/>“But you should probably finish whatever your business in town is, before he gets really serious,” Agatha admitted. She felt a stab of guilt at her own reluctance; it was selfish, but she didn’t <em>want</em> them to leave. Even if it was for the best. “I tried explaining to him, but he wouldn’t listen.”<br/> <br/>The Jägers exchanged a meaningful look. Dimo was the one to step forward and speak first. “Ecktually, Miz Agatha, ve haff been meanink to tok to hyu about dot.”<br/> <br/>“Are you finally going to tell me why you’re here?” Agatha asked, a little amused. “Why you aren’t with the other Jägers and the Baron?”<br/> <br/>“... Ve ken schtart vit dot, eef hyu like,” Dimo said with a shrug. “Hyu know alreddy how de Jägerkin joined de Baron after de Heterodynes vent missink, yez? Ve did not. Ve left de pack.”<br/> <br/>Dimo said it casually, but the air felt heavier for it and he didn’t quite meet Agatha’s eye. Agatha hesitated, suddenly struck by the urge to put her arm around Dimo and comfort him. She just barely managed to resist. “... Why?”<br/> <br/>“It voz... It <em>iz</em> de hardest ting dot a Jäger ken do,” Dimo admitted. When he looked back up at Agatha, it was with serious intent. “But it haff to be done.”<br/> <br/>“Vhen de Baron kem back after de masters had vanished und offered uz... employment, ve knew dot ve had to say yez,” Maxim continued. “He needed uz, but not as much as ve needed him. Vitout de family, Mechanicsburg voz vulnerable und ve vere mekink it a target. Pipple luffed Masters Bill und Barry, bot dey still feared uz. Ve are svorn to de Heterodynes, but ve must protect de town und ourselves az vell, yez? Ve knew ve <em>had</em> to keep lookink for de Heterodynes though. Bot eet voz suspected dot searchink vould not be a high priority for de Baron. So der Generals ask for volunteers.”<br/> <br/>“Ve vere to leave de group, go out into de vorld, und not return until ve find an heir,” Dimo picked up again. “No matter how long it take. All der monsters of Mechanicsburg svore to not enter de town until de Heterodynes returned, bot de Heterodynes vere <em>gone</em>. Ve knew it vos suicide mission. Ve vould <em>neffer</em> be able to go home.”<br/> <br/>“But...” Agatha’s voice caught in her throat. Something in her heart twisted as she listened to Dimo and Maxim speak. They had left their home, left their people, on a hopeless quest. All to uphold the Jägers’ honour and protect them. She felt a rush of grief and affection for them that she couldn’t put into words.<br/> <br/>“<em>But</em>,” Oggie interrupted with a smile. He had been oddly quiet until now. “Because ov uz, de Jägerkin ken say dat dey haff not abandoned our masters. Dey could join de Baron und fight und de Baron vould protect them. Und now—” Oggie hesitated. “Now ve...” He wavered and Agatha took a concerned step forward, reaching out to him instinctively. Oggie’s eyes welled up with tears. “Hy neffer... neffer thot... dot ve vould get to go <em>beck</em>.” Agatha hadn’t quite reached Oggie when he suddenly surged forward, wrapping his arms around her and falling to his knees. “Ve haff missed hyu! Please, <em>please</em> be real!”<br/> <br/>Agatha was dragged to the ground with Oggie, where she automatically wrapped her arms around him tightly. The Jager buried his face in her neck and sobbed— <em>begged</em>— and all Agatha could do was hold him and try to make soothing noises as she stroked his hair.<br/> <br/>“It’s... it’s okay,” she tried, still confused. “I’m- I’m here. I’m real.”<br/> <br/>But really what? Agatha’s head ached and she clung to Oggie in response almost as much as he clung to her. Despite the pain, gears in the back of her head began to slowly turn as everything clicked into place. He couldn’t possibly be implying... He couldn’t mean... Agatha looked up helplessly at Maxim and Dimo, hoping they would step in. Tell her that Oggie was just confused. That he had meant something else.<br/> <br/>Neither of them did. Maxim eyed her hungrily and Dimo’s face was unreadable. No, not unreadable. He was holding back more than the other two, but there was a hopeful glint in his eyes that scared Agatha even more than Ognian’s tears did.<br/> <br/>“Hy told hyu, Miz Agatha,” Dimo finally said, quiet but firm. “Ve haff been lookink for hyu... <em>Mistress</em>.”<br/> <br/> <br/>———<br/> <br/> <br/>The clank was still laying on the cobblestones when Adam and Lilith made their way up Market Street, twitching occasionally whenever someone came near. The two of them hesitated at the sight before rushing forward.<br/> <br/>“What in the world happened here?” Lilith asked, looking around warily. Adam crouched next to the clank to examine the damage. “Why isn’t the watch here?”<br/> <br/>“They’re all going haywire,” grumbled the bookshop owner, watching the scene warily from her doorway. “That one was acting up earlier.”<br/> <br/>“Acting up how?” Seeing Adam poking gingerly at the puncture in the clank’s back, Lilith stepped between him and the shopkeeper. “Did you see what happened?”<br/> <br/>“Hallo, Frau Clay— of course, it was right outside my shop, wasn’t it? It stopped one of the students and got stuck in a feedback loop.”<br/> <br/>“And then... what, it broke down?”<br/> <br/>“No, then it tried to fire on the poor girl!”<br/> <br/>“<em>What?</em>” Adam stood with a start and both Clays stared at the woman with alarm. “Wait, a girl— it was a female student?”<br/> <br/>“Yes, she— ah...” The shopkeeper froze as she remembered the name the girl had said so clearly and emphatically and was suddenly reminded of who she was speaking to. “Don’t worry, Frau Clay, your girl is just fine! Got right out of the way!”<br/> <br/>“Oh, thank lightening...” Lilith sighed, leaning against Adam as they both slumped with relief. “Still, it <em>was</em> Agatha?”<br/> <br/>“Mm, I think so. Looked like her and said that was her name, anyhow.” This might have come across as sarcastic in many places, but in a town run by a mad scientist, people tried to keep open minds. You never really knew. “Had us all frightened for a minute.”<br/> <br/>“I’m sure she did,” Lilith said as she straightened up. “But you still haven’t explained what happened to the clank.”<br/> <br/>“Getting there, Frau Clay, getting there! But that’s how your daughter got to safety... Must say, I never thought I’d see <em>Jägermonsters</em> save the damsel in distress!”<br/> <br/>Just as they had started to relax again, Lilith and Adam tensed up. They stared at the woman as though they were hoping she would suddenly tell them she was joking.<br/> <br/>“... Jägermonsters?”<br/> <br/>“Mhm, two of them. They jumped right in and knocked the clank on it’s back.” The shopkeeper paused, looked at the clank, and then corrected herself. “Uh, front. Was well handled, the Baron must really be teaching them—”<br/> <br/>“What about Agatha?” Lilith interrupted her. “What did they do with Agatha?”<br/> <br/>“Uh—” The woman hesitated, eyes flickering between Adam and Lilith, feeling mildly guilty in the face of such parental concern. “I don’t... actually know. Now I think about it, she vanished pretty quickly.”<br/> <br/>Lilith realised she wasn’t breathing. She snapped to attention and grabbed Adam’s arm in a tight grip. He looked back at her with a determined, if slightly terrified, expression.<br/> <br/>“We have to find them. We have to find them <em>now</em>.”<br/> <br/> <br/>———<br/> <br/> <br/>“We’re not talking about this,” Agatha said firmly. All three Jägers tensed up, including Oggie still in her arms. “Not here.”<br/> <br/>It was a misunderstanding. It was a mistake. They were confused and lost and... and wrong. They had to be. Nothing else made sense, anything else made her head feel as though it was going to crack open like an egg.<br/> <br/>“... Vhere, den?” Dimo asked. Oggie started to straighten up and help Agatha to her feet, wiping his face with his sleeve and looking embarrassed. “Ve go vhere hyu vant, Mistress.”<br/> <br/>“<em>Stop that.</em>” Agatha took a deep breath. In a snap decision, she grabbed Oggie’s hand. “I’m taking you home.” Before they could respond, Agatha grabbed Maxim’s ungloved hand as well. She was briefly frustrated with her inability to grow a third arm to grab Dimo with, and settled for giving him a firm glare implying that he had better follow her <em>or else</em>. He nodded quickly and she began dragging them out of the cemetery. “To the forge.”<br/> <br/>Adam and Lilith would know what to do. This was what they <em>did</em>, they helped constructs with nowhere else to go. Once Adam and Lilith met the Jägers, they would realise that. They would clean them up, feed them, give them somewhere safe to rest... and in the morning they would all have a laugh over what a silly misunderstanding it had been.<br/> <br/>“Lady Agatha—” Maxim attempted, but he may as well have driven his sword into the back of her skull.<br/> <br/>“<em>I said stop that.</em>” Agatha forced herself to take a deep breath, to remain calm. Oggie squeezed her hand comfortingly and the pain receded somewhat. Right, don’t worry about that. That’s a problem for later. Right now they had to get home unaccosted, then she had to... to make tea. Dinner. Focus on those things. “Not here,” she said in what she hoped was a calmer tone. Maxim nodded.<br/> <br/>They made remarkably good time on their way back to Clay Mechanical. Whether this was because of people rushing out of Agatha’s way as they saw her drag two Jägermonsters down the street or not, Agatha didn’t know and she didn’t think she cared either. They also managed to avoid being stopped by clank watchmen, which was probably just a regular piece of narrative convenience. The windows were dark when they arrived, but Agatha didn’t notice that or the significance of it until she was well inside the house.<br/> <br/>“Adam? Lilith?”<br/> <br/>“Dey iz not home, Miz Agatha,” Oggie said, reminding Agatha to finally let go of him and Maxim. She did so and sighed in frustration, wondering how her parents could possibly have chosen such a poor time to go out.<br/> <br/>“Right. Right, okay, all of you get inside—” They were already inside. “Dimo, shut the door. I’ll... I’ll just turn the lights on and—”<br/> <br/>Maxim beat her to it, flicking the switch for the electric lights. Adam had been so quietly proud after he had installed those, Agatha remembered. He always was proud whenever he built or installed something to make their home more comfortable, more suitable, more <em>theirs</em>. Now the lights brightly illuminated the sight of three Jägermonsters stood awkwardly in the Clay family’s sitting room, staring intently at her, and Agatha was struck by the bizarreness of the situation.<br/> <br/>“I’ll just... get you something to drink,” Agatha said, falling back on hospitable manners. “Please, make yourselves comfortable.”<br/> <br/>“Tenk hyu, Miz Agatha,” Oggie said politely, though none of them moved to sit down. Agatha stared at them for a moment before spinning around towards the kitchen.<br/> <br/>“You can stay here tonight. That way you can get some rest and... anything else you need. We have spare clothes and food, Adam and Lilith won’t mind—”<br/> <br/>“Miz Agatha, hyu <em>are</em> a Heterodyne,” Dimo cut her off. Like he knew she had been avoiding the topic.<br/> <br/>“Why on Earth would you think that?” Agatha snapped at him, turning back around the glare at him. This had never been particularly intimidating, so she wasn’t surprised when he failed to back down in response. “What could I have possibly done to make you think I’m related to the <em>Heterodynes</em>?”<br/> <br/>“Hyu smell,” Oggie said.<br/> <br/>“<em>Excuse me?</em>”<br/> <br/>“Hyu smell <em>verra nize</em>,” Maxim clarified. He paused, considering. “Hyu smell <em>vunderful</em>. Hyu smell like vun ov de bloodline.”<br/> <br/>“That’s hardly proof,” Agatha insisted. “Maybe you just like the smell of my shampoo.”<br/> <br/>All three Jagers scrunched up their noses in distaste, which seemed unnecessary.<br/> <br/>“Dot’s definitely not eet,” Oggie said emphatically.<br/> <br/>“Ve haff been searchink for a Heterodyne for fourteen years, Miz Agatha,” Dimo persisted. “Dis iz de first time ve haff smelled <em>ennyvun</em> like hyu since Master Villiam und Master Barry left Mechanicsburg. Ve <em>know</em> hyu are a Heterodyne.”<br/> <br/>“... It has to be a coincidence then,” Agatha said. She turned towards the kitchen again, mostly looking for something to do with her hands. “How many different possible scent configurations can a person detect?”<br/> <br/>“<em>Lots</em>. Ve iz not persons, Miz Agatha, ve iz Jägerkin. Ve vere designed to be able to tell dis.”<br/> <br/>“But I’m not even a Spark!”<br/> <br/>“Ve haff not been lookink for a Spark, Miztress, ve haff been lookink for <em>hyu</em>.”<br/> <br/>Agatha ignored him in favour of filling the kettle and starting the stove. Dimo was being stubborn— which was completely understandable, Agatha reminded herself. The three of them had clearly been through a lot in the last few decades. By some spectacularly unlikely coincidence they had found someone that just so happened to smell like their old masters and it had triggered some part of their conditioning. It was strange, but in a universe with infinite possibilities anything was technically possible. It was like when Professor Zlietlov’s bio-mechanical hypnotic snails had, completely by chance, excreted a slime that contained the exact chemical ingredients needed to unlock Doctor Mnendov’s Crate of Secret Atrocities. This sort of thing just happened sometimes.<br/> <br/>(It never occurred to Agatha to wonder if the three of them were simply lying to her.)<br/> <br/>The three of them didn’t follow her into the kitchen, but they did stand in the doorway to watch her as they went. After a minute of silence, Maxim and Oggie began elbowing Dimo to speak and he shoved them back in response..<br/> <br/>“Miz Agatha—” Agatha slammed a mug onto the bench with a little too much force, making Dimo flinch. “Dere’s alzo... Hyu parents—”<br/> <br/>“I never <em>met</em> my birth parents!” Agatha snapped, spinning around to glare at all of them. As soon as she raised her voice, her headache came back. “I don’t know anything <em>about</em> them! All I have of them is this locket, and I only have that because of Uncle Ba—”<br/> <br/>Agatha froze mid-word. Her hand moved up to her neck, to rest over her locket. Her <em>trilobite</em> locket. The locket <em>Uncle Barry</em> had given her.<br/> <br/>When her silence went on too long, the Jagers exchanged worried glances. They slowly edged into the kitchen, eyeing her like she might explode at any moment.<br/> <br/>“... Miz Agatha?” Oggie asked cautiously.<br/> <br/>“My uncle gave me this locket when I was a little girl,” Agatha said quietly, voice sounding distant even to her. “It... His name is Barry.” Suddenly, all the Jägers froze as well, staring at Agatha in undisguised shock. “It has my parents portraits inside. The only ones I have of them.”<br/> <br/>Agatha remembered watching her uncle sitting at his workbench with a set of paints and a very small brush, so long ago. At the time, she had only been curious why he hadn’t been using his tools. Her uncle had always been so clever with machines, had always been making her complicated little toys and repairing things. She hadn’t thought about that in years.<br/> <br/>“... May I see dem, please?” Dimo asked, voice controlled tightly. Agatha didn’t say anything for a moment before nodding. She undid the clasp and silently passed the locket to him. She probably could have just opened it herself, but part of her was too afraid to take that step. Dimo did it instead, looking like he was trying very hard to stay calm himself, and stared impassively at the portraits inside.<br/> <br/>Maxim and Oggie watched his face carefully and, when Dimo failed to give any reaction, shifted awkwardly.<br/> <br/>“... Dimo?” Maxim asked, moving to nudge him. Evidently that was when Dimo finally remembered to breathe and he looked up again.<br/> <br/>“It’s dem.” He turned the locket around in his hand so they could see the portraits as well. A beautiful blond woman and a handsome man— Lilith always said Agatha had her father’s smile— looked back at them. “Dis iz Master Villiam und der Lady Lucrezia.”<br/> <br/>“... Oh,” Agatha said weakly. It was about all she could manage.<br/> <br/>“Hyu iz Master Villiam’s dotter,” Maxim said breathlessly. Then he turned to her with a grin that practically split his face in half. “Dot makes <em>hyu</em>—” Maxim paused as he realised something and then quickly dropped down to one knee in front of her, hat over his heart. “<em>Lady Heterodyne</em>.”<br/> <br/>Because her father was Bill Heterodyne. Or looked so very much like him that the coincidences really were too many to ignore. Her father and uncle were Bill and Barry,<em> the Heterodyne Boys</em>, who Agatha had grown up reading about and watching plays about and listening to history lectures about their overall effect on the continent and Spark relations— Agatha’s knees suddenly felt weak and she began to fall to the floor. Oggie leapt to grab her shoulders and Maxim put his arms up to catch her so quickly that he dropped his hat.<br/> <br/>“He never told me,” Agatha said unsteadily. Maxim and Oggie both carefully lowered to the ground so she could sit, not letting go of her. “Uncle Barry, he never... he never told me <em>anything</em>.”<br/> <br/>“... Hyu know now?” Oggie said helpfully. Agatha laughed shakily and covered her mouth with her hands. Her neck felt unnaturally light without the locket there. To think, something like that had been hanging around her neck for thirteen years and she had never known. Never known that people were looking for her. Never known that she had any connection to genuine legends. Never known the identities of her own blood relatives.<br/> <br/>“I do,” Agatha admitted. Then, mostly out of shock, she burst into tears.<br/> <br/> <br/> <br/>It didn’t take long for the Jägers to calm Agatha down enough for her to stop crying, though it was somewhat humiliating that it had been necessary for them to do so. It was just all so overwhelming and her head hurt so badly— in flashes rather than her usual, ongoing dull pain— that she couldn’t help it. Tea abandoned, Maxim escorted Agatha back to the sitting room where she could sit more comfortably while the other two followed. Dimo kept looking down at the locket and portraits in his large hand, but all three of them managed to hover over her worriedly. They looked at Agatha as though she was the most precious thing they had ever been given, a tottering house of cards and a ticking bomb all at once. Seeing their expressions, Agatha couldn’t help laughing. This, for some reason, made them relax noticeably.<br/> <br/>“... I suppose it’s a bit of a disappointing end to your quest, huh?” Agatha said through teary laughter.<br/> <br/>All three Jägers looked confused, exchanging glances with each other before looking back at her.<br/> <br/>“Vot hyu mean, mistress?” Oggie finally asked.<br/> <br/>“Well, I mean—” Agatha gestured towards herself with one hand while she tried to wipe her face clean with the other. “I doubt I’m... What you expected.”<br/> <br/>“No,” Dimo admitted. “But hyu iz de Heterodyne, miztress. Dot’s not disappointing.”<br/> <br/>“But— But I’m—”<br/> <br/>“A shmott gurl,” Oggie said firmly. “Und hyu vere nize to uz, effen doh ve iz scary guys und pipple told hyu not to.”<br/> <br/>“Strong too, Hy tink,” Dimo said. “Hyu say hyu get doze headaches vheneffer hyu tink too hard, but hyu keep vorking and studying und all dat? De family neffer let ennyting schtop dem either.”<br/> <br/>“Ho, yez!” Oggie agreed. “Remember Master Oxalof? Alvays gettink thwarted, dat vun, but he still showed dem all!”<br/> <br/>“But I’m useless—” Agatha tried again, only to be cut off by Maxim nudging her shoulder.<br/> <br/>“Lady Agatha, if hyu keep talking bad about our miztress, ve haff to tell hyu off.” He smiled at her and when Agatha looked around, Dimo and Oggie were grinning at her too.<br/> <br/>“... Thank you.” Those might have been the nicest things anyone had ever said to her, outside of her parents. She wasn’t sure how much she believed them but... looking at their faces, she felt encouraged. Even if they were only saying it to make her feel better, they spoke like they really did believe that she was smart and resilient. Like she fit in with the mad Sparks of one of the most infamous families of Europa. She felt like she wanted to meet their expectations— and that if she didn’t, they’d be surprised.<br/> <br/>They believed in her. She had to make it worth their while.<br/> <br/>“... I’ll get you home. To Mechanicsburg,” she clarified, when they perked up and looked at her hopefully. “I... don’t know what that will involve, exactly, but... I can do that much. I <em>will</em>.”<br/> <br/>Oggie looked like he might start crying again but Maxim and Dimo just gave her very satisfied grins. Agatha realised she was smiling as well. Their happiness was contagious, it seemed.<br/> <br/>“Izn’t verra tricky,” Oggie assured her, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “Hyu chust gotta go to Mechanicsburg, ring de Doom Bell und den der iz de party! No problemz!”<br/> <br/>Dimo and Maxim gave Oggie a dubious look at that but Agatha laughed a little. “I’ll just be careful not to blow the bell up and it will be fine then.”<br/> <br/>“Ho, vell, if hyu do manage to blow op de Doom Bell pipple vill haff no problemz believing hyu iz de Heterodyne et least,” Dimo said thoughtfully.<br/> <br/>“How can I prove I’m the Heterodyne?” Agatha asked, the problem suddenly occurring to her. “I have my locket, but I don’t have any proof that it was given to me by Barry Heterodyne. The whole town can’t possibly believe just anyone walking up claiming to be Bill Heterodyne’s child. And they’ll be expecting a Spark, won’t they?”<br/> <br/>“De Jägerkin vill be able to tell from hyu smell,” Maxim said. “De rest ov de town vill believe uz. Mechanicsburg <em>vants</em> a Heterodyne.”<br/> <br/>“Mechanicsburg haz lots ov vays ov proving dot hyu are ov de family,” Dimo reaffirmed. He might have noticed her lack of confidence. “Ve... may not be able to use all ov dem for hyu, but dot’s hokay.”<br/> <br/>She wasn’t a Spark, so she couldn’t prove anything with any feats of mad science. Uncle Barry was missing and couldn’t verify her identity; assuming she was right and he really was Barry Heterodyne. The Jägers would apparently accept her just from her smelling like the family, but they hadn’t officially been part of the town for nearly fifteen years. She couldn’t assume the people currently running the town would welcome them back. Not to mention, there were reportedly hundreds, if not thousands, of Jägerkin. What if they disagreed with Dimo, Oggie and Maxim? What if they <em>were</em> wrong and Uncle Barry had lied about her parents portraits? What if he had just bought some locket in a gift shop and made up a story to entertain a little girl and it really <em>was</em> all a coincidence?<br/> <br/>“Der Kestle kent help too much et de moment,” Maxim said thoughtfully. “Unless hyu break eet into tiny pieces und turn de pieces into a verra dangerous windmill dot tries to shoot down de moon... und mebbe turns all de tourists into monsters... or a sausage fountain.”<br/> <br/>That at least yanked Agatha out of her spiral of worry. She stared at Maxim for a moment, frozen. She wasn’t sure how she would manage that. “... Um, I’m making progress with my cheese clock?”<br/> <br/>“<em>Ve</em> are certain, Miztress,” Dimo said firmly while Oggie yanked Maxim backwards by his hair. “Ve know how to convince effryvun else, dun hyu vorry about dot part.”<br/> <br/>Agatha hesitated but nodded. She did trust them, for some reason. It was hard to pinpoint why, but if they said they could do something, she believed them. And if all they needed to reenter Mechanicsburg was a Heterodyne... Well, she could at least exist. That was something she could do. She’d never expected to rule a city, but there must be people already there that could help her. Just from working for Doctor Beetle, she knew a lot of the work was bureaucratic and she could handle <em>that</em>. She could go to Mechanicsburg, ring the Doom Bell, and maybe she’d never be the kind of presence the previous Heterodynes had been, but she could make herself useful. She could help people, in a small way, make sure other people could do their jobs properly as well.<br/> <br/>It felt odd to have a plan for the future, however vague.<br/> <br/>“Hyu dun gotta vorry about lots of tings now!” Oggie declared, cheerful again. “Hyu gots uz to help hyu!”<br/> <br/>“You can start by helping me figure out how I’m going to explain this to my parents,” Agatha said with a wry tone. She still barely believed it herself— she could just imagine the looks on Lilith and Adam’s faces when they heard. The Jägers all exchanged nervous glances, waiting for someone else to go first.<br/> <br/>“About... dot...” Dimo started, scratching the back of his head.<br/> <br/>“Hyu tink dey don’t already know?” Ognian asked, interrupting him.<br/> <br/>“They—” Agatha hesitated. Adam and Lilith had known Uncle Barry well. They’d known her birth parents too, even if they rarely spoke of them. “If... Maybe Uncle Barry didn’t actually tell them who he was... Or who <em>I</em> was...”<br/> <br/>“... Be a leedle odd eef he didn’t,” Dimo said, eyeing her. “Leavink hyu mit dem und not explainink ennyting.”<br/> <br/>“You’re right.” It almost made sense that he hadn’t told her, she had been <em>six</em>. But not telling Adam and Lilith, when he’d trusted them enough to live in their home for a year and leave Agatha with them? “Uncle Barry must have been hiding us for a reason, but I never got the impression he didn’t trust Adam and Lilith.”<br/> <br/>“Dey haff... seen hyu pictures, yez?” Maxim asked, shifting awkwardly in place. “Und dey met hyu uncle?”<br/> <br/>“Yes and yes,” Agatha confirmed, frowning at the locket in Dimo’s hand. “But they would have <em>told</em> me by now if they knew. It’s not like my birth parents never come up!”<br/> <br/>There was a moment of silence. Oggie and Maxim both turned to Dimo expectantly and he huffed in frustration.<br/> <br/>“Now <em>Hy</em> em gettink a headache,” he complained, closing the locket with a snap. “Miz Agatha, do hyu remember vot Hy vas sayink dis mornink?”<br/> <br/>“What?” Agatha blinked at the sudden change in topic. For a moment she couldn’t recall, head still full of the evening’s revelations. “Um, we were talking about Punch and Judy, weren’t we?”<br/> <br/>Punch and Judy, the Heterodyne Boys loyal companions. Unbidden, Agatha’s mind automatically began to throw up every detail she knew about them for her attention. Two large patchwork constructs made by Bill and Barry personally. Contrary to popular renditions, they were both strong, intelligent and kind. Judy had one eye bigger than the other. Punch, apparently, couldn’t speak. No one had seen them in years. Uncle Barry had trusted no one when she was young but he had trusted Adam and Lilith. Uncle Barry was Barry Heterodyne.<br/> <br/>And Lilith had reminded Dimo of Judy.<br/> <br/>“Agatha!” The front door slammed open. “Adam, the light’s on— Child, I swear, if you aren’t home— ... Dimo!”<br/> <br/>Lilith halted in the Clay house’s entry hall, Adam looming behind her with a stricken look on his face. She froze where she was, staring into the front room with a shocked gaze. Her eyes met Dimo’s and he politely tipped her hat to her.<br/> <br/>“Frau Clay, how kind ov hyu to remember me.”<br/> <br/>Adam and Lilith didn’t respond, frozen in place.<br/> <br/>“Hello, Lilith, Adam,” Agatha said from the sofa, voice quiet and deceptively calm. “This is Dimo, Maxim and Ognian. The Jägers I was telling you about.”<br/> <br/>Lilith didn’t say anything, still frozen in the door and staring at Dimo in shock. Adam edged around her cautiously as though anticipating an attack. Maxim and Oggie grinned at him with all their teeth.<br/> <br/>“They came to Beetleburg looking for a Heterodyne heir,” Agatha continued. “Travelling Europa, cut off from the pack, for fourteen years. All on their own, can you believe it?”<br/> <br/>Still no response.<br/> <br/>“They were just telling me that they’ve finally managed to find one, after all this time,” Agatha went on. Then she finally turned around and looked directly at her adoptive parents. Lilith broke eye contact with Dimo to look at her with a mix of shock, guilt and resignation.<br/> <br/>“Now, is there something you’d like to say to me?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was the hardest to write so far, mostly because I wrote it backwards. I did discover the trick to breaking writer's block! Just throw a robot fight in there, it fixes everything.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Lilith Tells All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>““<em>You’re the Baron’s beautiful daughter, surely.” </em><br/>
“<em>I am not the Baron’s daughter.” </em><br/>
<em>The hanging man looked nonplused for a moment. His brow furrowed around the visor that hid his eyes. </em><br/>
“<em>Are you sure? I’m usually very good at spotting the offspring of evil geniuses...””</em></p>
<p>— Foglio, K &amp; P. (Date not determined) <em>Agatha H. and The Airship City</em>. Transylvania Polygnostic University Press.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>———</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Why didn’t you <em>tell</em> me?!”</p>
<p>“You were a child, you couldn’t understand— we meant to tell you as you got older. But there was never the right moment.”</p>
<p>“The right <em>moment</em>?! To tell me my <em>father</em> was <em>Bill Heterodyne</em>?!”</p>
<p>They’d all moved to the dining table, once Agatha had made it clear to her parents that neither she nor the Jägers were going anywhere without some answers. Also that the Jägers had no intention of hurting anyone present (unless Miss Agatha would like them to, of course), which had needed to be established for some reason. Lilith sat at one end and Dimo at the other. Agatha was in her usual seat next to Lilith with Oggie next to her and Adam and Maxim sitting opposite.</p>
<p>It could have been any normal evening in the Clay household, complete with surprise construct guests, if Agatha hadn’t been shouting at the top of her lungs.</p>
<p>“Agatha—”</p>
<p>“You <em>lied</em> to me for over<em> eleven </em><em><b>years</b></em>! And I never even suspected! Hah, no <em>wonder</em> you didn’t <em>tell</em> me, I made it <em>so easy for you!</em> Laughing along at what a <em>funny coincidence</em> having family members called <em>Bill</em> and <em>Barry</em> and <em><b>Lucrezia</b></em> was while I was sitting at the table opposite <em><b>Punch and Judy</b></em>, too <em>stupid</em> to put two and two together— it must have been hilarious!”</p>
<p>“Agatha, we never laughed at you—”</p>
<p>“<em>You were literally sitting in that exact chair while you did—</em> ah! No, no, not now!” Agatha wasn’t sure when she’d stood up, but she regretted it as her anger finally lost it’s fight against her headache and the splitting pain took over. She grabbed her head and Oggie quickly reached out to steady her. “I’m- I’m okay, I’m just— <em>so</em> <em>angry</em>—”</p>
<p>“Chust sit down, Miztress.” She didn’t want to sit down, she wanted to stay angry, she <em>was</em> still angry— “Hyu ken keep shouting und doink de scary ting den.”</p>
<p>She let Oggie guide her back into her chair. Given the chance to catch her breath, the pain was already starting to fade. She probably could keep shouting and maybe even be a little scary after all. All this time and apparently all she needed was to become really, truly, loudly <em>mad</em>.</p>
<p>“... Agatha,” Lilith said hesitantly, “I’m sorry.” Adam reached across the table to squeeze Agatha’s hand. “We’re sorry. We should have told you before now but... I suppose we were still waiting for Master Barry to come back first. So we could tell you everything together.”</p>
<p>Some of Agatha’s anger did fade a little at that and she couldn’t bring herself to push Adam’s hand aside. Waiting for Barry Heterodyne to come home was apparently something everyone at the table shared, which was a funny thought. The Jägers didn’t say anything, though Oggie still kept his hand on her shoulder, but their presence was a heavy one. Dimo was still looking down at the locket in his palm, rubbing his temple with his free hand and frowning. Agatha sighed.</p>
<p>“Okay... Okay, I understand.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Lilith— Judy, Judy from the <em>stories</em>— wrapped both her hands over Agatha and Adam’s and squeezed gently. “Now... Before we explain everything, you need to put your locket back on. Please.”</p>
<p>At that, Agatha and Dimo both looked up with a start. “My locket?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Your uncle was very clear that you’re to always wear it, you need to put it back on... Dimo, please—”</p>
<p>“Lilith, I don’t <em>care</em> about my locket,” Agatha snapped, feeling her anger build up again. “I want to know what all this is about!”</p>
<p>“Agatha, this is important—”</p>
<p>“I’ll put it on after you tell me why we’ve been hiding all this time, why you lied to me, why— why—” Overwhelmed by all the questions she had, Agatha faltered. Lilith bit her lip and pulled her hands away again.</p>
<p>“... Okay. But, Dimo, could you pass it to me first? Please?”</p>
<p>Dimo turned the locket over in his hand and glanced at Agatha. Waiting for permission, she realised. Agatha shrugged and nodded and Dimo lightly tossed the locket across the table into Lilith’s hand. Lilith briefly inspected it for damage before placing it carefully on the table in front of her.</p>
<p>“Thank you. Now, none of this can leave this room, you have to—”</p>
<p>“<em>Lilith</em>.”</p>
<p>“I’ll talk, Agatha, I promise, but they need to know.” Lilith turned her intent gaze onto Dimo, Oggie and Maxim. They looked back, unbothered. “You can’t speak of this to anyone, not even the other Jägerkin.”</p>
<p>“Dot iz op to Miz Agatha,” Dimo answered evenly.</p>
<p>“Master Barry was very clear—”</p>
<p>“Ve do az Miz Agatha sez,” Oggie reaffirmed. Lilith looked at all three stubborn glares and then sighed, leaning back in her chair defeated.</p>
<p>“Fine.”</p>
<p>“... Do you know where Uncle Barry is?” Agatha asked. Dimo, Maxim and Oggie all shifted even more to attention than they had been already. “Tell me the truth, please.”</p>
<p>“We don’t. I’m sorry, we really don’t.” Lilith sighed as well, frustration eking through, and Adam closed his eyes. “He was never supposed to be gone for this long. Not even close.”</p>
<p>“Vhat vas he doink?” Dimo asked quietly, expression unreadable.</p>
<p>“A few things. Searching for servants of the Other, trying to find a way to get rid of them... but also finding somewhere safe to hide in the meantime. We knew Beetleburg was a short term solution,” Lilith explained. “It was safe then, Agatha, but we never could have kept you hidden once it was time for you to break through. Master Barry finally agreed and went looking for somewhere more secure.”</p>
<p>There was a lot to unpack just in that. Before she got too into it, Agatha tried to remember that time herself. “His letters...”</p>
<p>Lilith nodded. “He wrote to us from Mechanicsburg and from Paris—”</p>
<p>“Master Barry vent beck to Mechanicsburg?!” Oggie interrupted, all three Jägers looking shocked.</p>
<p>“Yes, nearly eleven years ago.” The three of them slumped in their chairs, expressions confused and slightly hurt. Agatha’s heart ached for them a little bit, knowing they had begun their search already by then. Barry had never even let them know he was alive. Lilith just kept talking. “We knew he was considering those places, but Mechanicsburg was under Wulfenbach control then and Paris... Well, things between the Master and the family have always been tense, even after your father tried to mend them. Master Barry didn’t think you’d be allowed into the city even with— even before you were a Spark.”</p>
<p>Adam glanced at Lilith as though he wanted to interrupt, but she held his gaze silently for a moment before continuing. “We got one other letter a few months later, slipped under the door while we were out of the house.”</p>
<p>“I remember. You wouldn’t let me read it.” She hadn’t meant to sound accusatory, but she thought it came through her tone regardless. “Even though you let me read the others.”</p>
<p>“We thought it might frighten you,” Lilith said quickly. “It frightened <em>us</em>. It was all wild ramblings and... We couldn’t make any sense of it. If it hadn’t been his handwriting, I wouldn’t have believed Master Barry wrote it. He said it wasn’t safe and that we had to keep you hidden and... so we did.”</p>
<p>Everyone was quiet for a moment after that. Agatha wasn’t sure what kind of conflicted mix of emotions everyone else had inside, but hers was whirlwind. She could feel it, slightly at a distance, just waiting for her to pick and choose which feeling she would pluck from the tempest to unleash first.</p>
<p>“... And you could keep me hidden, even in Beetleburg, because it turned out I wasn’t a Spark.” It wasn’t really the most important thing about all this, Agatha supposed, but it was a start. “Uncle Barry was so sure I would be that he ran off and didn’t come back, even though I was already such a—” The Jägers didn’t like her speaking poorly of herself, Agatha remembered. “... Even though I hadn’t broken through?”</p>
<p>“You were—” Lilith’s voice caught in her throat and she looked at Agatha helplessly for a moment. Adam watched her and waited for her to speak with a resigned expression. “... You’re a Heterodyne, Agatha. It was always only ever a matter of time.”</p>
<p>Adam seemed mildly surprised, but Agatha wasn’t. Empty reassurances, just like every time Agatha had cried over her headaches, over her classwork not making sense, over her inventions never working. Everything will be better some time in the future, everything will work out, soothing words from loving parents that still silently acknowledged that<em> in that moment</em> Agatha was a useless fool who couldn’t do anything right.</p>
<p>“Rather<em> a lot</em> of time, it turns out!” Ah, the anger was back. Wonderful.</p>
<p>“Vhy did hyu hide her?” Dimo asked. Agatha was a little annoyed to be cut off before she could start ranting again, since she thought she might even be able to pull it off, but it was an important question so she forgave him. “Who vere hyu hidink her <em>from</em>? Mechanicsburg haz been vaiting for a Heterodyne since Masters Bill und Barry left, dey vould haff been thrilled to see her.”</p>
<p>“Master Barry had reason to believe that... there were agents of the Other in Mechanicsburg, or watching it, or—”</p>
<p>“<em>Vot?!</em>” Dimo shouted, control apparently lost.</p>
<p>“He wasn’t sure who he could trust, even if <em>most</em> of the townspeople were fine—”</p>
<p>“Dot’s krezy!” Oggie said, aghast.</p>
<p>“I suppose I should start at the beginning,” Lilith said. “Though after all this time I still... It started when Lucrezia left, after Castle Heterodyne was attacked.”</p>
<p>“Vhen she vas kidnapped, hyu mean,” Maxim said cautiously. Lilith and Adam both shook their heads.</p>
<p>“I mean when she left.” Lilith looked down at the table, at the closed locket with Lucrezia’s portrait inside. “No one knew it, but she was pregnant at the time. And... probably the one responsible for the attack.”</p>
<p>“But... the Other attacked Castle Heterodyne,” Agatha said hesitantly. It was common knowledge. “That was what <em>started</em> the whole thing, it was the first attack in the war.”</p>
<p>“It was, yes. But the attack came from the inside... Which was probably the only way Castle Heterodyne <em>could</em> have been damaged.” Lilith took a deep breath and looked away from the locket. “Lucrezia was the Other. She escaped, gave birth to you, and then began waging war against all Europa.”</p>
<p>Everyone at the table fell quiet, staring at Lilith and Adam in varying degrees of shock. Agatha opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out, her mind unable to process what she had just heard. Dimo and Oggie stayed still and silent, realisation forming on their faces— and Maxim was the first to break the silence by getting to his feet with a snarl, kicking his chair away and storming off to growl at the wall. It was enough to make Agatha jump in her seat and she half expected Lilith to scold him for being rough with her furniture but she didn’t. Instead Lilith and Adam both looked sympathetic.</p>
<p>“Dot—” Dimo began hesitantly, “iz... not verra surprisink.”</p>
<p>“It’s<em> not?!</em>” Agatha spun to face him, shocked.</p>
<p>“Ve should haff known,” Oggie agreed bitterly. “Dat vun vas alvays de bad kind ov krezy.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Agatha felt sick to her stomach. She still hadn’t fully processed the idea of Lucrezia Mongfish, adventure novel heroine, being her biological mother. Now she had the added knowledge of both those figures being the <em>Other</em>? “I know she— she was a villain at first, I’ve heard the stories, but... wasn’t she a hero too? By the end?”</p>
<p>Maxim growled again, still not ready to rejoin them at the table, but Dimo and Oggie’s faces just went flat. It was Lilith that answered her.</p>
<p>“Life isn’t... like a story, Agatha, not really. Lucrezia tended to swing back and forth between hero and villain. When we first met her she— well, she was never on the scale of the Other, you’re right, but she wasn’t unhappy hurting people either.” Adam nodded along with Lilith’s explanation and made a complicated hand gesture that Agatha interpreted as a mix of ‘explosive’ and ‘terrifying’. “As we got to know her better and she became closer to Bill, she started to see things differently. Or she said she did, anyway. She helped us many times.” Lilith looked at Agatha, expression a little nostalgic and a little sad. “She and Bill fell in love and I remember... She told me she wanted to change. That she wanted to help people, to make things better. That Bill had changed how she saw the world.”</p>
<p>“Und hyu believed her,” Maxim grumbled, finally turning back to the table.</p>
<p>“I did, yes.” Lilith looked down ashamed and Adam put his arm around her shoulders. “You remember what the masters were like— <em>lots</em> of people felt that way around them. They made people <em>believe</em> they could be better than they were. And if she did slip up I was expecting it to be— oh, I don’t know, being a bit too liberal with the death rays. Using prisoners as experimental subjects. Not— not <em>that</em>.”</p>
<p>“It vas a leedle excessive for her,” Dimo admitted. “But de messink mit pipple’s heads und controlling dem sounds like sumting she vould like.”</p>
<p>“Hah. Yes, perhaps.” Lilith dragged her hand down the side of her face. “And you don’t know the half of it.”</p>
<p>“... We don’t?” Agatha asked weakly.</p>
<p>“Master Barry told us that the obvious revenants weren’t the only ones. <em>Most</em> of the people infected by slaver wasps apparently look and act like normal people. But they’re still under Lucrezia’s control. Any order she gives, they have to follow and they can’t do anything to fight her. They can’t even tell anyone what she did to them.”</p>
<p>Agatha’s hand went to cover her gasp and Dimo, Maxim and Oggie all looked disgusted.</p>
<p>“Zo, all dose towns dot she attacked...” Dimo began slowly. “Effen de pipple dot survived...”</p>
<p>“And there <em>were</em> quite a few survivors, weren’t there?” Lilith said with a grimace. “A lot of them, actually, when you consider the damage that was done.”</p>
<p>The death toll of the Other war had been unprecedented. Thousands had died or lost their homes and people were still afraid there might be a resurgence of the Other’s technology and those behind it. But there had been survivors— people who had been on the outskirts of their town, who had hidden in the rubble, who had fled and miraculously escaped— and they had gone on to tell people how lucky they were, what a miracle it was that they were alive and about the terrors they had faced. That was how the rest of Europa knew to be afraid.</p>
<p>“That’s what you meant when you said Uncle Barry didn’t know who to trust,” Agatha said sadly. “He thought there might be revenants in Mechanicsburg too.”</p>
<p>“He wasn’t sure. Mechanicsburg never had a wasp engine dropped on it like the other towns, not as far as we knew, but Lucrezia had been living there for years before she left.”</p>
<p>“Iz she alive still?” Oggie asked. “Did de masters kill her?”</p>
<p>Adam shrugged and Lilith bit her lip. “Barry implied that she and Bill both died and he was the only one to escape. She apparently told them about you beforehand, Agatha. Lucrezia had left you with the Geisterdamen and Barry went to get you from them.”</p>
<p>“What are Geisterdamen?” Agatha asked, even as vague, dim memories welled up in the back of her head. Strong hands pulling her away, holding her tight and running... She couldn’t tell if she was imagining it or not.</p>
<p>“Ve know dem,” Dimo said. “Dey vander de vastelands now, ve see dem sumtimes. Verra pretty, verra strong.”</p>
<p>“They worshipped, Lucrezia,” Lilith said. “I always thought she treated it a bit like a joke but it turns out they were deadly serious about it. They raised you until you were three, until Master Barry was able to find them and rescue you.”</p>
<p>The choice of words there...</p>
<p>“Rescue me? I’m not... complaining, exactly, if they worshipped— <em>her</em>, then I doubt they were good people. But was I actually in danger from them?”</p>
<p>“Incredibly so,” Lilith said seriously. Adam nodded emphatically. “Master Barry found some machines and heard them speaking... Lucrezia had planned to use you as... some kind of back up, if anything happened to her, or— maybe even just if she got too old, she was always very vain about her looks—”</p>
<p>“Back up?” Agatha asked, alarmed. “Back up for what?”</p>
<p>“For her mind.” Agatha fell silent, staring at her mother without comprehension. Lilith sighed and continued. “Lucrezia had found some way of copying her mind. She planned to copy her mind into your body once you were old enough and replace you. The Geisterdamen had the technology to do it for her and were making preparations when your uncle found you.”</p>
<p>“Replace... me?” Her voice didn’t sound like her own, didn’t sound like she was the one speaking— The Jägers were growling, as displeased as Agatha was horrified, but Agatha felt like the whole world was growing more and more distant.</p>
<p>“They’re hunting for you now. That’s why we’ve been working so hard to keep you hidden.”</p>
<p>Because her biological mother wanted to steal her body. Because her mother’s servants wanted to wipe Agatha from existence and use her to bring back their mistress. Because her mother— Lucrezia Mongfish Heterodyne— the Other— wanted to take control of Agatha’s body and take it from her <em>and erase her mind</em>—</p>
<p>“Hoy, Mistress.” Agatha was yanked back to reality by the realisation that she was surrounded. Maxim was hovering behind her chair, Ognian had wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and Dimo was kneeling next to her. Behind him, Lilith and Adam watched with equal concern. “Mistress, hyu haff uz now,” Dimo continued, looking up at her seriously. “Ve von’t let dem near hyu.”</p>
<p>“Dey effen try to get close, ve tear dem to pieces,” Maxim reassured her.</p>
<p>“Ve protect hyu, dun vorry,” Oggie affirmed.</p>
<p>Agatha took a deep breath and swallowed. “Thank you.” Dimo put his hand on her knee and squeezed gently. It did help, actually. She definitely felt protected. She could handle this. Around Dimo, Oggie and Maxim, even her headaches didn’t hurt as much. Agatha took another breath and looked up at her <em>actual</em> parents.</p>
<p>“... Is that why I’m... like this?” Agatha asked, trying to hide the shake in her voice. “The headaches and... all of that, did she do something to me? To make it easier to put herself in my brain and erase me?”</p>
<p>Just saying it out loud was terrifying. Agatha wasn’t sure she could imagine a worse thing to do to a person. Adam and Lilith exchanged another look.</p>
<p>“No, that’s... The headaches don’t have anything to do with her.” Adam nudged Lilith and she shook her head minutely at him, but Agatha didn’t pay it much mind. She was too preoccupied. That Lucrezia at least hadn’t done anything to her head <em>already</em> probably should have been reassuring, even if it did confirm that Agatha was just uselessly broken. At least her brain was still <em>hers</em>. Oggie kept his arm wrapped around her shoulders and Dimo gave her knee a final squeeze before getting to his feet and returning to his chair.</p>
<p>“Dot explenz keepink her hidden from de ghost ladies und efferyvun else, since hyu veren’t sure who could be her servant, effen in Mechanicsburg,” Dimo said while Adam and Lilith nodded. “Bot hyu know de Jägerkin iz immune to de vasps und de Baron iz a Spark. Vhy not go ask for help? Ve ken be schneaky.”</p>
<p>“You can,” Lilith agreed. Somewhere in the back of Agatha’s mind, she noted that the hint of Mechanicsburger in her accent got thicker the longer she spoke to the Jägers. Not enough to really stand out, especially not compared to them, but enough for Agatha to realise she’d been hiding it before now. “But after the Jägerkin agreed to fight for Klaus, Master Barry worried... if you could be trusted.”</p>
<p>Dimo, Maxim and Oggie all went silent, shocked and uncomprehending. As if they’d never considered that their loyalty to their masters could be <em>doubted</em>.</p>
<p>“They’ve already explained that to me,” Agatha said tersely. The <em>Jägerkin</em> weren’t the ones that had been lying to her for most of her life. “Baron Wulfenbach offered Mechanicsburg protection while— while the Heterodyne Boys were gone.” Uncle Barry was <em>Barry Heterodyne</em>, her biological father was <em>Bill Heterodyne</em>, it was still difficult to imagine. “Protection in exchange for the Jägerkin’s service. They thought they wouldn’t mind, since it was to protect the town. Are you going to tell me<em> Klaus Wulfenbach</em> is the Other as well?”</p>
<p>Adam and Lilith were silent for far too long. Agatha stared at them for a moment before it clicked.</p>
<p>“You’re <em>kidding!</em>”</p>
<p>“Master Barry told us himself that Klaus was working with Lucrezia and that he was her ally,” Lilith said, sounding tired. “He wasn’t sure if they’d found a way to control the Jägers as well or just convinced them taking over Europa would be fun.”</p>
<p>“Ve vould <em>neffer</em>—” “Not for <em>her</em>—” “Ve <em>hates</em> dose vasps—”</p>
<p>“Well, that’s what it looked like!” Lilith shouted over them as all three Jägers protested loudly together. “Everyone knew you weren’t happy about the way the masters were doing things! And then in just a few years you run off to join their<em> enemy?!</em>”</p>
<p>“He vos deir <em>friend</em>!” Dimo roared. “De odder Jägerkin vent vit him to protect de town und to <em>fight</em> de Odder’s bogz! Eef he vos helpink her den <em>no vun told uz!</em>”</p>
<p>“De odder Jägerkin <em>still</em> don’t know!” Maxim added. “Und... dey vould haff noticed by now eef he vas, vouldn’t dey? Der generals vould know.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure?” Lilith asked accusingly. “Maybe he has managed to hide it from them. Maybe the generals <em>do</em> know and just aren’t telling the rest of you.”</p>
<p>“<em>Dey vould neffer</em>—”</p>
<p>Agatha held up her hand to quiet everyone— Maxim cut off mid-sentence— and took a few deep breaths. When she lowered her hand, her voice was tightly controlled. “Lilith. Why did Uncle Barry think the Baron was working with... the Other?”</p>
<p>“He... didn’t want to believe it.” Lilith averted her gaze and Adam put his hand on hers comfortingly. “But Klaus was always in love with Lucrezia and— he was missing for years and then suddenly appeared to take over everything.”</p>
<p>“By fightink de Odder’s bogz,” Maxim said. “Dat’s part ov vhy everyvun vas so glad to see him.”</p>
<p>“And apparently my father had equally bad taste in women,” Agatha said, trying to push down her own hysteria. “So I don’t know that we can hold that against him.”</p>
<p>“Barry saw... <em>something</em> while he and your father were going after Lucrezia. He couldn’t tell us what.”</p>
<p>“Why not?” Agatha asked, confused.</p>
<p>“You were too young, Agatha, you don’t remember what he was like back then. He could barely stand to talk about what happened at all. He was a mess— but he wouldn’t have warned us off Klaus if he wasn’t certain of it. We could see how distraught he was.”</p>
<p>“... I do remember. Uncle Barry was distraught all the time,” Agatha said slowly. “And paranoid and defensive, over the smallest things.”</p>
<p>“This wasn’t something small, Agatha, Klaus was his closest friend and he-”</p>
<p>“Do you know, once we were in a town and he was making some extra money doing repairs. One man complimented him on his work and we suddenly had to pack up and leave in the middle of the night.”</p>
<p>“Attention would have-”</p>
<p>“In one village, I managed to make friends with a little girl. She invited me to her house for a sleepover and Uncle Barry made me take a <em>knife</em>.”</p>
<p>“Vell,” interjected Oggie, the most experienced parent present. “Dot’s not unusual-”</p>
<p>“I was <em>five</em>. I don’t know how I forgot he was a Spark, by the way, he built secret passages and escape routes into <em>tents</em>. We had to run <em>drills</em>.”</p>
<p>“He was scared, Agatha,” Lilith said quietly. “He was terrified of losing you.”</p>
<p>“<em>Then he shouldn’t have left.</em>” The words came out too sharp, unveiling a long buried hurt that Agatha had meant to keep hidden. Lilith and Adam looked at her pityingly and she took a deep breath. The tension was starting to wear on her and her head was beginning to hurt again. “But that’s not my point. My point is that... maybe Uncle Barry’s word shouldn’t be taken completely on faith.”</p>
<p>“Agatha, your uncle wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t believe it.”</p>
<p>“I know. But like you said, he was scared, dealing with circumstantial evidence and... and it sounds like he’d been betrayed by someone he trusted once already.” Bill had been the one to marry Lucrezia, but she had been Barry’s friend too. Agatha hadn’t missed the pain in her parents eyes either. “If the Jägers have been working with the Baron all this time and they’ve never noticed anything suspicious, I don’t think we should just assume they’re wrong.”</p>
<p>“We can’t assume they’re right, either,” Lilith insisted, watching the three Jägers with suspicion. “Or honest.”</p>
<p>Maxim looked indignant and like he was prepared to start shouting again, but Agatha interrupted before he could get started. “I believe them.” The tension dropped out of Maxim’s shoulders and Agatha felt like she saw Dimo and Oggie relax slightly as well. “They’ve had plenty of opportunities to... run off with me or something already and they haven’t. I know I haven’t met any of the Jägers that went with the Baron, but I do trust these three.”</p>
<p>Lilith and Adam both gave her a Look for that, somewhat exasperated and somewhat amused. But Adam nodded and, eventually, Lilith did too.</p>
<p>“Ve do hear ov our brudders zumtimes,” Dimo said, now everyone seemed a little less likely to go for anyone’s throat. “Not often und not directly, bot ve hear tings.” He made sure to make eye contact with Agatha, expression earnest. “Eef de Baron vas vorking for de Odder or ever usink her methods... Dey<em> do not know</em>, Miztress. Hy promise.”</p>
<p>“De Jägerkin haff <em>alvays</em> been loyal to de Heterodynes,” Oggie added. Then he paused thoughtfully for a second. “Und eef dey vas goink to shtop, dey vould not do zo <em>qvietly</em>.”</p>
<p>Adam made a hand gesture that Agatha didn’t recognise, followed by a questioning look. Maxim apparently understood.</p>
<p>“Der generalz hates de Odder’s bogz az moch az de rest ov uz do,” he answered. Oggie and Dimo nodded. “Eet iz de squeezing pipple’s minds ting. Dey tink loyalty should be <em>earned</em> und dey iz right.”</p>
<p>Agatha briefly thought that she didn’t feel as though <em>she</em> had done much to earn anyone’s loyalty, but refrained from saying so. That wasn’t really what Maxim was talking about.</p>
<p>“And you don’t think... They would have compromised on those values?” Agatha asked. All three Jägers looked at her befuddled. “You said Mechanicsburg was vulnerable. Do you think it’s possible they might have gone along with the Baron, even if they weren’t happy about it, to protect the town? And to protect the other Jägers— the Jägerkin? Especially if they only realised after the deal had been made.”</p>
<p>Dimo, Oggie and Maxim all silently stared at her with equally uncertain looks. She felt a little sorry for them, though she wasn’t sure why, and Lilith was the one to save them.</p>
<p>“I think questions like that are a little above their pay grade, Agatha,” she said gently. Agatha was ready to be indignant on their behalf, but the Jägers just nodded in relief. “But... I suppose it’s a thought...”</p>
<p>“Hy do not tink dot dey vould haff set beck all dis time, eef dot vere true,” Dimo said. “Effen if dey vas beink schneaky about eet.”</p>
<p>“And with how Klaus has the Jägerkin spread across the empire, I imagine the generals are very well placed to do him damage if they wanted to,” Lilith agreed.</p>
<p>“Ho, yez! Airships aren’t verra hard to mek blow op, especially eef hyu iz alreddy inside!” Oggie said eagerly.</p>
<p>Castle Wulfenbach had flown over Beetleburg once when Agatha was eight years old. It had blotted out the sun for the entire day.</p>
<p>“Okay, so... Either they don’t know or Uncle Barry was wrong,” Agatha said, trying to sound firm. “If it’s the former, then obviously we need to tell them, and—” The realisation that they were talking about the <em>Empire</em> and an <em>army</em> suddenly washed over her and Agatha felt exhausted. She slumped forward, elbows propped up on the table and head in her hands.</p>
<p>“Miz Agatha?” Oggie sounded worried and he tentatively moved his hand to rub circles on Agatha’s back. “Iz it hyu head again?”</p>
<p>Her head did hurt, though not nearly as badly as a conversation like this normally would have demanded. The occasional, short, stabbing pain to remind her it was there. Oggie’s hand on her back soothed her enough that it faded again easily. So there was something good about this evening.</p>
<p>“I think...” Agatha said slowly, “I think I’m tired. And my head hurts.”</p>
<p>Everything was just too much. Uncle Barry was <em>Barry Heterodyne</em>, her parents were <em>Punch and Judy</em>, her birth mother was the <em>Other</em>, there were things called Geisterdamen, there were generals and Agatha needed to know about them,<em> Baron Wulfenbach</em> might be involved, she was a <em>Heterodyne</em>, she was in danger, she was surrounded by people promising to protect her, there was <em>so much </em>to think about.</p>
<p>“It is getting late,” Lilith said gently, brushing some of Agatha’s hair out of her face. “And you’ve had a long day. You rest and we can—”</p>
<p>“—decide what to do in the morning,” Agatha tersely finished for her. She wasn’t sure exactly what Lilith and Adam might try to do while Agatha was asleep, but she was determined to not let anyone else make any decisions for her behind her back. She turned to Dimo, Oggie and— oh, Maxim was back to standing behind her, hovering protectively. Well, that was fine. “You three stay here. Don’t go anywhere.”</p>
<p>“Yez, Miztress,” they chorused together. Right. Heterodyne. Mistress. They, at least, apparently <em>would</em> do what she told them to. Agatha got to her feet, gently massaging her temple. “Okay then, goodnight.”</p>
<p>“Don’t forget to put your locket on before you go to bed,” Lilith said, pushing the locket across the table towards her. “You must—”</p>
<p>Something in Agatha flared up. “You don’t <em>seriously</em> expect me to put that woman’s portrait around my neck after all that?!”</p>
<p>“It’s your father’s portrait as well,” Lilith argued, though she winced. “Your uncle gave us very strict instructions when he left, Agatha, you <em>must</em> wear it.”</p>
<p>“<em>How</em> could Uncle Barry <em>possibly</em> have thought that a portrait of <em>the Other</em> was appropriate jewellery for a<em> five year old</em> anyway?!”</p>
<p>“Eet doz seem in poor taste,” Oggie admitted.</p>
<p>“I know, Agatha, but please. Master Barry ordered us to make sure you wore it at all times. <em>Please</em> just wear it,” Lilith begged.</p>
<p>Agatha bit her lip to stop herself from shouting again. Right. If Uncle Barry was Barry Heterodyne and Lilith was Judy, he wasn’t just her friend he was her <em>creator</em>. She knew how difficult it could be for a construct to disobey their master. It was somewhat horrible to think of Uncle Barry (much less the heroic Barry Heterodyne) taking advantage of someone like that, if that’s what this was she would <em>scream at him until his eardrums bled— </em>but even if it wasn’t, this probably wasn’t an argument worth having now. Lilith was upset, Agatha was upset, her head was hurting again and she wanted to lay down in her quiet room until morning. Agatha snatched the locket up and stormed up the stairs, barely resisting the urge to stomp her feet.</p>
<p>“Agatha, you need to wear it—”</p>
<p>“I <em>heard</em> you, Lilith. <em>Goodnight</em>.”</p>
<p>All five constructs watched Agatha vanish up the stairs into her room. Adam and Lilith winced at the sound of her bedroom door slamming. They stayed silent for a moment, waiting to see if she would return, before turning to each other.</p>
<p>“Zo...” Maxim started, taking Agatha’s vacated chair for himself. “... Ve gets to sleep inzide tonight, dot’s nize!”</p>
<p>“The sofa and armchairs are all comfortable,” Lilith sighed. Adam stood to open a cupboard under the stairwell and take out some extra blankets. “Since I suppose I couldn’t convince you to leave even if I wanted to.”</p>
<p>“No, hyu could not,” Oggie said with a tight, cheerful air. With Agatha gone, a tense atmosphere had returned among the group. “She gave uz <em>orders</em>.”</p>
<p>Lilith glared at him. At all of them. “She had better be right about trusting you. Because if not, I will personally ensure—”</p>
<p>“Ve iz loyal to Lady Agatha,” Maxim interrupted. “Hyu are de vuns who haff been keepink sekrits from her, mebbe ve dun trust <em>hyu</em>.”</p>
<p>Adam dropped the blankets onto the sofa and moved back to loom over Maxim, expression a wall of barely restrained anger. Maxim, to his credit, met his gaze without flinching. Lilith, meanwhile, was bright red with anger.</p>
<p>“Judge us all you want, we kept her <em>safe</em>. Everything we’ve done for the past twelve years has been to protect her! Including keeping secrets!”</p>
<p>“Hyu kept her sekrit from effryvun,” Oggie said falsely dispassionate. “Hyu knew vot she vould mean to effryvun, how moch ve missed de family, und hyu kept her to hyuselves.”</p>
<p>That made Lilith close her eyes briefly and Adam flinched. But then Lilith shook her head.</p>
<p>“We didn’t have a choice.”</p>
<p>“Hyu hed orders,” Dimo said firmly, in a tone that brooked no argument. “Ve understand.”</p>
<p>Oggie and Maxim, cut off before they could even respond, hesitated but then nodded reluctantly and Punch relaxed slightly. Lilith let out a sigh.</p>
<p>“The important thing now is keeping Agatha safe. I think we can at least agree on that.”</p>
<p>Maxim, Dimo and Oggie all exchanged a look. Oggie looked back at Judy and grinned.</p>
<p>“She iz a Heterodyne. Since vhen haff enny ov dem been <em>safe</em>?”</p>
<p>“... That’s part of why I’m so worried,” Judy admitted. “Just get some sleep and— keep a watch out in case—” She faltered, overwhelmed by worry. Punch wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders and Dimo took pity on her.</p>
<p>“Ve vill protect her.”</p>
<p>Punch nodded with a gentle smile and guided Judy up the stairs to their room. The Jägers all positioned themselves around the sitting room in reclining positions. They had orders not to leave the house, after all, they would have to maintain their guard from here.</p>
<p>“Hy’ll take de first vatch,” Dimo said. Maxim and Oggie murmured agreement without argument.</p>
<p>None of them slept.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>———</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Upstairs, Agatha paced back and forth, fuming as she shed articles of clothing. It was difficult to undo buttons with a large locket clenched in one fist, but Agatha made do. Her mind was far too entangled in knots to work out a more efficient method.</p>
<p>A Heterodyne! A <em>Heterodyne</em>. Like from the books, like from the plays, like her <em>uncle</em>. Something like that should have upended Agatha’s entire way of thinking about herself, but it wasn’t even the most immediate or pressing issue. The previously intimidating task of following a couple of Jägers into a town she had never even visited so she could offer to take over administering it seemed rather small now. Because her mother was Lucrezia Mongfish and also the <em>Other</em>. Her servants might be hunting for her even now. The <em>Baron</em> might be hunting for her even now. All so they could wipe Agatha from existence, bring back Lucrezia and rule Europa through enslaved minds. And Agatha didn’t have the slightest idea how to approach it. Should she keep hiding, like Adam and Lilith clearly wanted her to? Should she <em>tell</em> someone? Go to Mechanicsburg and just hope the Jägerkin were willing and able enough to protect her from being kidnapped?</p>
<p>How could Uncle Barry leave her to deal with this without him, Agatha thought bitterly. She clenched her locket tightly in her hand, the pain from the metal digging into her palm a nice distraction from her headache. He had just given her a locket, said her parents would protect her— and knowing what she did now, that seemed an even emptier platitude now than it had before— and <em>left</em>. Probably for a good reason, or at least a good intention, but the result was the same. He was supposed to be a hero but he had left her, left Adam and Lilith, and <em>vanished</em>.</p>
<p>She should put the locket back on. Lilith had been so insistent. But looking down at it now, remembering when Uncle Barry had first given it to her, what he had told her, whose portrait was inside and what she had intended to do to Agatha... She couldn’t do it. Couldn’t put that woman’s portrait so close to her head. Couldn’t wear the reminder of Uncle Barry and his useless, meaningless promises. In a snap judgement, Agatha flung the locket at her dresser. She did wince when it skidded across the surface and fell into the gap between the dresser and the wall, but she sure wasn’t going to the effort of retrieving it <em>now</em>.</p>
<p>With a sigh, Agatha fell onto her bed covers. Getting angry at Uncle Barry wasn’t going to do any good. She would have to come up with a plan herself. Adam and Lilith’s best idea seemed to be to just keep hiding in Beetleburg, but continuing as they had been didn’t sit right with Agatha anymore. If the Baron really was in league with the Other, didn’t they have a responsibility to at least warn people? Not to mention, she had promised the Jägers she would get them home. But if the Other’s servants came looking for Agatha, who knew what would happen to the people trying to protect her? She couldn’t just rely on them. If only she could find a way to protect herself, to make sure that anyone that came for her would quickly regret it... But how?</p>
<p>Agatha drifted off to sleep slowly, mind full of monsters and memories and anxiety. If only... If only she could protect <em>everyone</em>...</p>
<p>...<br/>
...<br/>
...<br/>
...</p>
<p>Agatha <em>dreamed</em>.</p>
<p>------</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The exposition one! I can’t remember where I first read the theory that Barry was searching for a place for Agatha to Spark out, but I <em>suspect</em> it was Khilari’s Salvaged Meta compilation. It’s as good a theory as any and I’m rather fond of it. </p>
<p>On another note, this chapter marks the end of “Part One” according to my Scrivener file for this fic! This is completely arbitrary and meaningless. But I am busy with various RL things so future chapters may be delivered slowly for a few months.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first time writing chapter fic in a <i>thousand years</i>, so we'll see how this goes. </p>
<p>Also, hey! Been in the fandom for <i>two</i> thousand years, only just now contributing to it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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